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Caravel Forum : Caravel Boards : Contests : The Naming Office (Our Contest for November)
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RoboBob3000
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Have you ever wanted to be part of a high-performing team while working passionately in a field you love? Have you ever wished you could bestow a sense of purpose upon those around you? Have you ever named an entire litter of kittens?

We are currently seeking bright and talented individuals to fill some vacancies in our Naming Office! This opportunity is your everyday, run-of-the-mill job opening. Nothing unusual about it. Just the result of typical workplace attrition. Nothing at all to do with that terrible gossip you've been hearing about that incident at the tar vats. We know that tar babies, each a component of a whole, are highly resistant to attempts to be individualized. Now.

Though previous industry experience is not required, potential applicants must have the following:

-Strong desire to work with like-minded individuals
-Passion for naming, and naming-related activities
-Copious amounts of stick-to-itiveness
-A pair of boots

Job duties include:

-Naming just about everything you see
-That's pretty much it

We will be accepting applications until roughly, negative 472 weeks, 2 days from now. Simply post in this thread indicating your intent to apply for the position. Every applicant will be guaranteed an interview. Interviews will begin shortly after applications close. More details will be provided then.

Do not stress about the interviews! They will be very informal and require only a small amount of your time. I do ask, however, that if you are going to participate in the application process, that you display an ability to take a joke and laugh at yourself. Grumps are automatic no-hires.

We are looking to fill three positions, and will reward new hires with the following signing bonuses:

Chief Alias Distributeer - 100 rank points + an item from the Prize Pile
Senior Moniker Coordinator - 50 rank points
Handle Designationist - 25 rank points


Edit: Interviews have begun!

Edit 2: Submission topic here!

____________________________
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[Last edited by RoboBob3000 at 11-05-2009 12:28 AM]
10-22-2009 at 02:44 AM
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jbluestein
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I believe that I would make an excellent Chief Alias Distributor. Although I may just be a cad instead.

Formally, I intend to apply for the position!

Josh

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10-22-2009 at 02:52 AM
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mrimer
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Sign me up! :)

I can spell complex works like enviornment, nucular, and thei're. And I could are less if its

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[Last edited by mrimer at 10-22-2009 04:43 AM]
10-22-2009 at 02:53 AM
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Jatopian
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By the power vested in me, I hereby name myself 3rd Participant.

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10-22-2009 at 03:22 AM
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noma
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I have a sturdy pair of steel toed boots that should do quite nicely. So I might as well apply for a job.
10-22-2009 at 03:24 AM
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Rabscuttle
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I am posting in this thread indicating my intent to apply for this position.
10-22-2009 at 03:32 AM
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Kwakstur
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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair.
I plan to end animal name cruelty.
And I shall do so by becoming a cad.



[Last edited by Kwakstur at 10-22-2009 04:07 AM]
10-22-2009 at 04:07 AM
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Dischorran
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Dear Mr. 3000,

I am writing to apply for the position of Chief Alias Designator. The business of naming has interested me greatly ever since the terminological successes of the early Bush 43 administration. I believe that a candidate such as myself with a highly advanced technical degree and nearly a decade of experience with the terminology of scientific research would be a great asset to the Naming Office. I take great pride in my ability to laugh at myself, and would like to stress that my superior ability to laugh at others as well makes me an excellent team player in this environment.

Sincerely,
Dischorran

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10-22-2009 at 04:25 AM
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Znirk
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Dear Robobob:

I hereby designate you the Chief Alias Designator Designator. Which more or less automatically makes me the Chief Alias Designator Designator Designator, which means that I should of course become the Chief Alias Designator as well to prevent needless duplication duplication.

You can interview me during your upcoming performance review.
10-22-2009 at 07:38 AM
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Bombadil
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To whom it may concern,

After reading your job offer in The Eighth Times I believe that I might be a perfect candidate for the position.

Please, feel free to contact me for the interview.

Yours sincerely,
Bombadil


(is there any canon name for a newspaper from the Eighth?)
10-22-2009 at 09:04 AM
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Nuntar
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I am the very model of a modern naming bureaucrat,
The Eightian equivalent of a polyglottal Eurocrat,
This dizzy height I've reached with my obsession with nomenclature,
I just hope you're not expecting me to make them all rhyme as well.

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50th Skywatcher
10-22-2009 at 12:38 PM
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NobleHelium
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I am considering contacting 42nd Negotiator to file a complaint with the Bureaucracy Complaints Office because the positions advertised do not seem to conform to the position naming conventions due to their lack of ordinal numbers. In the meantime, however, I hereby express my interest in these positions in case they are genuine.

And in the case that they are genuine, allow me to note that I am clearly a good candidate for these positions as I have already noticed three naming errors.

OOC: I take it there is no contest for October, then?

[Last edited by NobleHelium at 10-22-2009 05:31 PM]
10-22-2009 at 05:29 PM
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jbluestein
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quote:
NobleHelium wrote:
OOC: I take it there is no contest for October, then?


I have taken the liberty of renaming October to November, in order to preserve consistency.

No charge.

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10-22-2009 at 05:41 PM
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Sillyman
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Well, I'd like to go moniker around.

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FNORD
10-22-2009 at 07:08 PM
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zwetschenwasser
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Oh no! An interview! I...guess I'll have to apply then *cringes*.

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10-22-2009 at 11:27 PM
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techant
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Dear RoboBob3000,

Please consider this my application for the naming job. I am a good namer and no all my umbers. Also I never listen to rumors unless they ar true.

Thank you very much.

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10-23-2009 at 08:52 AM
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DanielFishman
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I, too, would like to apply for this position.
10-23-2009 at 02:11 PM
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brian_s
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I'll have a try at naming numerous non-indentified things.
10-23-2009 at 08:12 PM
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Maurog
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Calling people names? Where do I sign?

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10-23-2009 at 09:57 PM
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Jacob
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OK, I'm up for it.

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10-23-2009 at 10:53 PM
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Briareos
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*waves frantically and points at himself*

Aim here, soldiers!

Wait - wrong occasion...

Vote ME!

np: Cage - Grand Ol' Party Crash (ft. Jello Biafra as The Dubya) (Leak - Quer Durch Den Gemüsegarten Mix)

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"I'm not anti-anything, I'm anti-everything, it fits better." - Sole
R.I.P. Robert Feldhoff (1962-2009) :(
10-24-2009 at 10:49 AM
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hyperme
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I will applicate for this thing.

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Qzvlkx?
10-24-2009 at 06:31 PM
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Tim
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I'd like to apply, but I'm not sure how much time it will take me.
November could be a very busy time for me.

Let's assume that I'm tentatively in.

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10-24-2009 at 11:59 PM
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Casebier
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I would like to name the Help Wanted Ad as the First Naming Office Help Wanted Ad. I would also like to name myself as the Twenty-Second Naming Office Applicant.

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Casebier
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Revisiting old Project: ZelDROD 1 / ZelDROD RPG (If I can ever find the custom graphic files that I made for it.)
10-25-2009 at 11:24 PM
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eb0ny
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Dear RoboBob 3000,

I have read your advertisement in Caravel(tm) forum and I am interested to take up the position in the Naming Office you offer. You can contact me by replying by this message or by sending me a PM.

Thank you in advance for your reply.

Yours sincerely,
eb0ny

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[Last edited by eb0ny at 10-26-2009 01:52 PM]
10-26-2009 at 01:52 PM
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chinook
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I would like to apply for this. I have the time, and I have the boots.

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-Chinook
10-26-2009 at 06:56 PM
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skell
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*begins participating*

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10-27-2009 at 10:40 AM
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kie
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I would like to apply for the advertised position.

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cheers, kie
10-27-2009 at 08:31 PM
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coppro
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I hereby name myself an Official Competition Contestant for the Position of Chief Alias Distributor with Fries.
10-29-2009 at 01:42 AM
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RoboBob3000
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Applications close in roughly two days! Don't miss out on this opportunity!

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10-30-2009 at 07:09 PM
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