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Pneh
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 icon Chuck Norris facts (+2)  
Every forum need a "Chuck Norris facts" topic, and here's ours.

For you who's now thinking: "Chuck Norris facts? Oh golly! I don't know what that is!" Chuck Norris facts are all those jokes about how tough Chuck Norris is.
And oh, wikipedia: Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris facts.
Got facts? Share them with everybody!
Here's some:
♠Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
♠There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
♠Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

And I know I've been off the forum for a while, but I doubt that you guys have noticed it...

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12-03-2008 at 07:57 PM
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Dex Stewart
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 icon Re: Chuck Norris facts (+1)  
♠There's no problem you can't solve with a really big sword. Unless Chuck Norris is part of that problem.

I mean, come on... you didn't really expect us to *not* invent DROD-related Chuck Norris facts, right?
[Last edited by Dex Stewart at 12-03-2008 09:30 PM]
12-03-2008 at 09:28 PM
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Dischorran
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 icon Re: Chuck Norris facts (0)  
Lies are just truths Stephen Colbert hasn't said yet.

(Sorry, but Chuck Norris has been obsolete ever since the Hungarian bridge contest.)

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12-03-2008 at 09:59 PM
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zwetschenwasser
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 icon Re: Chuck Norris facts (0)  
And no one said welcome back!

Welcome back, Missieur LeFevre!

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12-03-2008 at 10:23 PM
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Pneh
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Dex Stewart wrote:
I mean, come on... you didn't really expect us to *not* invent DROD-related Chuck Norris facts, right?
I guess some things never change...
zwetschenwasser wrote:And no one said welcome back! Welcome back, Missieur LeFevre!
Missieur who?
Thanks! :thumbsup

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12-03-2008 at 11:10 PM
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zwetschenwasser
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 icon Re: Chuck Norris facts (0)  
Beethro Budkin is secretly Chuck Norris's parallel universe clone.

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12-04-2008 at 12:36 AM
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zwetschenwasser
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 icon Re: Chuck Norris facts (0)  
On that note...

There are only two mortal beings who can rise from the dead, Beethro Budkin and Chuck Norris.

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12-04-2008 at 12:37 AM
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eb0ny
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Spoilery:
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12-04-2008 at 05:35 AM
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Kwakstur
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 icon Re: Chuck Norris facts (+1)  
Being the hardest substance known to man, the only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

The patch to fix the ending of KDD works by convincing the 'Neather that Chuck Norris left.

The Charleston is actually a unit of time defined as "the length of time that it takes 1 metric tonne of dungeon monsters to sublimate within 15 feet of Chuck Norris." It is, of course, infinitesimal.

It took 6 days to create the Eigth. Chuck Norris took 2 years.

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12-04-2008 at 06:06 AM
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Briareos
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 icon Re: Chuck Norris facts (+1)  
* Cryptanalysis doesn't break cryptosystems. Bruce Schneier breaks cryptosystems.

* There is no secure e-commerce - only stuff Bruce Schneier doesn't want.

* Bruce Schneier can determine if a program terminates just by looking at it. And then the program terminates itself.

* Bruce Schneier taught Chuck Norris how to divide by zero as they stood silent in an elevator.

What? O:-

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[Last edited by Briareos at 12-06-2008 09:35 AM]
12-04-2008 at 08:33 AM
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Snacko
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Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar and the universe exploded from containing too much awesome in one joke.

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12-04-2008 at 12:20 PM
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Pekka
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 icon Re: Chuck Norris facts (+1)  
This is a wrong board for these. Actually, the right board, but wrong person. These clearly should be Erik Hermansen facts.

EH can smite four roaches in one move. Eight if he is sworded.

EH wrote the original DROD on four computers at once.

EH can open doors by giving an orb a meaningful look.

...
12-04-2008 at 01:57 PM
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vittro
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 icon Re: Chuck Norris facts (0)  
Goblins run from unsworded Chuck Norris.
Wraithwings always run from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can kill Wubbas.
Chuck Norris can exchange Tar/Mud/Gel without using a token.
Guards' behavior act is the same as Stalwarts if Chuck Norris is in the room.
Chuck Norris can place mimics/decoys/clones, become twice as fast or become invisible without having to drink a potion.
Arrows don't affect Chuck Norris.
Aumtliches always look away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can fly over pits or move over water without being on a platform.
Chuck Norris conquers the room when he steps on a Conquer Token - even if there are monsters left.





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12-04-2008 at 04:54 PM
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Someone Else
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Chuck Norris can kick a serpent so hard that it dies instantly!

(In classic DROD)
12-04-2008 at 07:12 PM
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eb0ny
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Adders don't eat Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats adders.

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12-04-2008 at 07:32 PM
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Jatopian
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 icon Re: Chuck Norris facts (-1)  
Fact: Chuck Norris stopped being funny years ago.

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12-04-2008 at 11:17 PM
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NiroZ
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Party Pooper
I was enjoying it.
12-05-2008 at 02:37 AM
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Pneh
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Chuck Norris is right even when he's wrong; no one dares to correct him.

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12-07-2008 at 12:04 PM
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Jacob
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 icon Re: Chuck Norris facts (0)  
vittro wrote:
Guards' behavior act is the same as Stalwarts if Chuck Norris is in the room.

I like this.
But it's also an interesting feature request - a toggle token that turns guards into stalwarts and vice-versa.

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12-07-2008 at 12:44 PM
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Pneh
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 icon Re: Chuck Norris facts (+1)  
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Maybe we should stop joking about him or he'll beat us all with his beard-fist.

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[Last edited by Pneh at 12-08-2008 07:43 PM]
12-08-2008 at 07:41 PM
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Briareos
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*cough*

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12-08-2008 at 07:52 PM
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Chuck Norris
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Fact: Chuck Norris stopped being funny years ago.
Only because I wanted to stop being funny years ago. Carry on, Pneh.

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12-08-2008 at 07:52 PM
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RRodgers
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Fact: Chuck Norris is a roachling. (Just look at his profile on the Caravel Forum, it says so.) :shifty

:blink :eek :yikes Oopsie, I mean:

Fact: Chuck Norris is a roachling because he wanted to be a roachling. (I bet Caravel admin offered him a Smitemastership when he signed up.)
[Last edited by RRodgers at 12-08-2008 08:05 PM]
12-08-2008 at 08:01 PM
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Sillyman
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Fact: Chuck Norris, or rather the impostor Chuck Norris that signed up for an account instead of demanding one with an older regdate from the database, has 9 rank points. Some say I was responsible. :shifty

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12-09-2008 at 01:35 AM
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