schep
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The player lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin and conquers the room! Then he leaves.

We all know not all DROD players are male. The game can't use the excuse that it's talking about Beethro, since this also happens in Negotiations. And sorry, Strunk & White, but practiced and accepted usage of English pronouns has changed over the years.

There are all sorts of creative replacements for the second sentence above:
That done, it's time to head elsewhere.
Oh yeah, and leaves the room, too.

(If anyone wants to suggest more, bear in mind that there might be significant puzzle between killing the last monster and getting out of the room, or it could just be a straight walk out.)

zex20913
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We could just eliminate the phrase--I consider the room conquered when the room is left, or a conquer token is stepped on.

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Alneyan
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I'd just do a quick s/The player/Beethro here. While not all players are male, all Beethros are indeed 'he'. Voilà! It's not as if the player actually did the slaughtering, anyway; I leave all laying waste to sprawling hordes of vermin in the hands of Beethro myself.

Briareos
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Alneyan wrote:
I'd just do a quick s/The player/Beethro here. While not all players are male, all Beethros are indeed 'he'. Voilà! It's not as if the player actually did the slaughtering, anyway; I leave all laying waste to sprawling hordes of vermin in the hands of Beethro myself.

Ummm... so the negotiator and the goblin in the interludes in TCB are actually called Beethro?

That's news to me...

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CuriousShyRabbit
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Is there a reason why it can't be all one sentence?

The player lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin, conquers the room, and leaves.

or a variation that could end in an exclamation point

The player lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin and leaves, victorious!

Briareos
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CuriousShyRabbit wrote:
Is there a reason why it can't be all one sentence?

The player lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin, conquers the room, and leaves.

or a variation that could end in an exclamation point

The player lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin and leaves, victorious!

"The player bringeth the smackdown to a sprawling horde of deathly vermin and/or steps on a conquer token and/or leaves an entrance room, thusly conquering the room. Exit stage left, chased by a bear."

Nah... better not...


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MeckMeck GRE
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The player lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin and conquers the room! Then he/she leaves.

Fixed.

Tahnan
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MeckMeck GRE wrote:
The player lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin and conquers the room! Then he/she leaves.

Fixed.

Ugh. "he/she" is a terrible option for a gender-neutral pronoun. Frankly, I'd much prefer:

The player lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin and conquers the room! Then they leave.

But the rephrasings above are even better. Though perhaps even better would be one that's sensitive to the player role, which says, variously,

Beethro lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin and conquers the room! Then he leaves.
The negotiator lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin and conquers the room! Then she leaves.

(For extra fun, add a variable to "set player role" to choose whether the role is male or female.)

Someone Else
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Briareos wrote:

CuriousShyRabbit wrote:
Is there a reason why it can't be all one sentence?

The player lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin, conquers the room, and leaves.

or a variation that could end in an exclamation point

The player lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin and leaves, victorious!

"The player bringeth the smackdown to a sprawling horde of deathly vermin and/or steps on a conquer token and/or leaves an entrance room, thusly conquering the room. Exit stage left, chased by a bear."

Nah... better not...

Why not?
I think it's the best here.

coppro
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Tahnan wrote:
Ugh. "he/she" is a terrible option for a gender-neutral pronoun. Frankly, I'd much prefer:

The player lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin and conquers the room! Then they leave.

But the rephrasings above are even better. Though perhaps even better would be one that's sensitive to the player role, which says, variously,

Beethro lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin and conquers the room! Then he leaves.
The negotiator lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin and conquers the room! Then she leaves.

(For extra fun, add a variable to "set player role" to choose whether the role is male or female.)

What if Beethro slaughters the monsters and then the player starts playing a Negotiator halfway through?

Chaco
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How about, for each room, the architect can specify to either use the default demo messages, or use their own? Then the architect can describe exactly what's going on if they choose.

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coppro
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The problem is that the architect may not want to obey the rules of the heuristic that DROD uses, and allowing the architect his own settings would be nightmarish.

Jatopian
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OK, kids, good catch, simple fix: "Then the player leaves."

And no, he/she won't cut it either; what if the player is a wubba?

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silver
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"The player" isn't an actor in the room at all! The player is controlling the primary actor. Any sentence which starts with "The player" is only properly followed by "...hits a bunch of buttons for a while."


(just kidding)



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Jatopian
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silver wrote:
"The player" isn't an actor in the room at all! The player is controlling the primary actor. Any sentence which starts with "The player" is only properly followed by "...hits a bunch of buttons for a while."

"player"->"protagonist", then.

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schep
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Yeah, repeating "the player" is an obvious fix here, but sounds clunky. Singular "they" doesn't seem to fit the situation well IMO (I think singular they usually requires a more indefinite antecedent). That's why I favor the more creative replacements.

These demo descriptions are actually pieced together from a variety of texts, which limits how easy it is to arbitrarily rephrase the entire thing. Some of the others also need this sort of change. (I hope this doesn't count as illegally distributing the media.)

The player gets himself killed pretty quickly.
The player dies, and the monsters live.
The player dies horribly, but kills a monster first.
The player goes screaming to his death and takes some monsters with him.
Halph gets killed.
Player conquers the room after slaying just one monster
and it takes little time.
but it takes forever.
The player kills off a handful of monsters and conquers the room.
After destroying a group of monsters, the player conquers the room.
The player lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin and conquers the room!
Then he leaves.
The player is just passing through.
The player exits the room with work left undone.
He came.  He saw.  He didn't do much of anything.
The player spends some time here without accomplishing much.
Then he exits the level.
The player exits the level.
The player exits the level with work left undone.
The player touched a Conquer token on turn

Each line is a separate unit of text which can be combined with the others to make the full description. Note a few of them are just partial sentences.

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[Last edited by schep at 05-16-2007 10:37 PM]

Someone Else
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The player (The person who may or may not be controlling (by pressing keys in an alternate dimension) the person(s) and/or monster(s) in question) lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin and conquers the room!

Is that good enough?

trick
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"The player lays waste to a sprawling horde of vermin and conquers the room! Then it leaves."

Tim
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Let's translate the text into Japanese. They don't use genders in this kind of sentences.

"All your base belong to us."

PS. I want to keep the current text if possible.

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[Last edited by Tim at 05-16-2007 11:44 PM]

Someone Else
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[sarcasm]While we're at it, why don't we eliminate feminine/masculine words in French?[\sarcasm]

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[Last edited by Someone Else at 05-17-2007 04:38 AM]

NiroZ
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My god we're a politically correct bunch.

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[Last edited by NiroZ at 05-29-2007 10:26 AM]

Someone Else
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Perhaps you didn't notice the sarcasm tags.

Edit: Oops, forgot to put them in.

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[Last edited by Someone Else at 05-17-2007 04:38 AM]

Briareos
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Tim wrote:
"All your base arrr belong to us."

Fixed that, matey.

PS. I want to keep the current text if possible.

Well, a replacement for the one "he" would be nice, but I'd keep the rest.

np: Solovyev - Al-Brah (Stadtmusik (Disc 2))

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Tim
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Briareos wrote:
Well, a replacement for the one "he" would be nice, but I'd keep the rest.

I don't agree with you.

1) There are more places where "the player" is referred as "he".
2) I don't want to download your demos in which TCB get confused about what your gender is.



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Elfstone
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If I may add my tuppence-worth? - speaking as one of the female players (and one with feminist leanings at that) I couldn't care less about the "he".
It's Beethro who leaves the room, so it's fine - leave it as it is.

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Briareos
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Elfstone wrote:
It's Beethro who leaves the room, so it's fine - leave it as it is.

Ummm... except for when it's the so-and-so-th Negotiator during the first interlude of TCB, and probably other holds to come.

Although I have to say that I don't mind this either way - that above is just me picking nits...

np: Tarwater - Sweethome Under White Clouds (Spidersmile)

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zex20913
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Has the pronoun "she" ever been used in the Eighth? In canon? What if it doesn't exist in the Eighth, and all third person references are either he (for something alive) or it (for an object)?

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silver
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I'm at work right now, but if someone could restore to the rooms where the negotiator and the guide refer to each other, that would confirm that this theory is unfounded.


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zex20913
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Blast.

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Tim
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Beethro did refer to "someone" being a "lady" during TCB. But I don't think he used "she" though.

But that doesn't mean anything. Besides, what happens when in a room Beethro decide to change roles?

"The player enters the room. He came. she saw. It didn't do much of anything???"

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[Last edited by Tim at 05-18-2007 01:00 AM]