Oneiromancer
Level: Legendary Smitemaster
Rank Points: 2936
Registered: 03-29-2003
IP: Logged
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An invitation of interest (+3)
I've been getting a lot of mail recently that isn't actually addressed to me. Sometimes it's just some generic junk mail that is intended for "occupant", but I seem to get more than the normal share of mail addressed to someone who doesn't actually live here. You'd think the post office would understand after the 20th time I write "No longer at this address--return to sender!" on an envelope. I've even got the same letter back a second time, with my writing still on it!
However, the following piece of mail was different. It wasn't addressed to anyone at all, and the paper was unlike any I had ever seen before. My curiosity got the best of me, and I just had to open it and see what was inside. And, well...I'm glad I opened it. The text of what was inside reproduced below:
The Order of Engineers
Cordially Invites You
to Attend the Order's Annual
Banquet of Honor
for Lifetime Achievement
on Onsuary the 3rd, 147 BD
in the Banquet Hall
Please join us in recognizing the work of Fifth Engineer and her impact on Empire society and construction technology. Fifth Engineer has had many achievements after she graduated the Imperial Engineering College with an outstanding thesis on the topic of "Placing Obstacles on Walls". She has since advanced our understanding of such diverse fields as diagonal gate installation, the amount of heating that floors can withstand before becoming structurally unsound, and calculating the optimal level of crumbliness that should be exhibited by crumbly walls. But she is naturally best known for her influential work on "sister gates", which she will discuss tonight. (Please see the accompanying abstract for more information.)
Reception to Follow.
Please Announce Your
Intention to Attend with
Twenty-Fourth Administrative Assistant.
(The following sheet of paper was also included in the envelope.)
Sister Gates by Fifth Engineer
In this talk I will discuss the history, development, and subsequent implementation of sister gates. The research began as a natural offshoot of the ubiquitous yellow gate technology, which are well known to be controlled by orbs or, more recently, plates installed in the floor. The red, green, blue, and black gates were long considered inferior and not worthy of the time or money necessary to rebuild once they had been opened. After our stunning breakthroughs, we unveiled the "sister gates" for these other devices, putting them on a nearly equal footing with the yellow gates. At long last, architects could design around the functionality of gates that began open and then closed when their condition was met. The impact on the security systems of the Empire will also be discussed.
Game on,
____________________________
"He who is certain he knows the ending of things when he is only beginning them is either extremely wise or extremely foolish; no matter which is true, he is certainly an unhappy man, for he has put a knife in the heart of wonder." -- Tad Williams
[Last edited by mrimer at 11-12-2006 08:39 PM]
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