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Caravel Forum : Caravel Boards : The Illumination : Terrible Lies and Unexpected Truths. (Our News for April.)
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ErikH2000
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icon Terrible Lies and Unexpected Truths. (+6)  
We are expected to come up with some kind of April Fools joke each year. But with our checkered past, it's really quite hard to surprise anyone these days. All the oldtimers are guarded against foolery, and you may notice a peculiar desperation among forumites to prove they are too clever to be taken in. Today, I will make a number of announcements. Every one of them will either be a Terrible Lie or an Unexpected Truth. See if you can figure out what's true and what's false.

DROD: The City Beneath Released

Our latest full-length game, titled "DROD: The City Beneath" has been released! The release date is exactly two years from the day we released DROD: Journey to Rooted Hold on April 1st, 2005. In this latest game, we have greatly expanded the storytelling features to make the tale of Beethro's adventures in the Great Beneath all the more epic. A huge number of new game elements have been added, including the infamous "ray gun", which is a laser-like attack that can blast all the way across the room in a single turn. Beethro himself does not carry a ray gun, but other creatures do. And we don't call it a "ray gun", because that might confuse people. But yes, there are definitely ray guns.

Although the order pages are perfectly functional and ready to dispense Windows, Mac OS X, and Linux versions of the new game, I have chosen not to provide a links to the order pages. It isn't strictly necessary. Ditto for the demo versions, which are all sitting on the web server waiting to be downloaded by you or anybody else. I just can't be bothered to give out the links right now. Somebody else is welcome to do it.

Danforth Strout Is Not a Real Person

Danforth Strout, the World's Greatest Salesman, is not, in fact, a real person. He has an e-mail address. He has a biography on the website. He even has a cartoon representation of himself. But despite this strong evidence in support of his existence, Danforth Strout is not really real. The farce has been perpetuated chiefly by myself. I am responsible for writing most of the words attributed to Danforth. Some people have even heard the voice of Danforth Strout in the new release of DROD: The City Beneath. However, Danforth's speech was performed by professional actor Steve Anderson. We hope that nobody has been harmed by this fraudulent portrayal. When we informed Danforth of his nonexistence, he was surprised and apologetic.

Adam Peterson Is a Real Person

This member of the forum, known as "Alefbet", is, in fact, a real person. It has been noted that both the "mrimer" and "Alefbet" accounts often log in from the same location, inviting speculation that Adam Peterson is Mike Rimer's extra-sassy alter-ego. The theory goes that when Mike has need to express his more controversial ideas concerning computer languages, he does so under the "Alefbet" moniker. However, I will tell you that I have personally met Adam Peterson in Provo, Utah some years ago, and he was an entity separate from Mike Rimer, who I also saw in Provo. They were in the same room together when I saw them, eliminating the possibility of being fooled by Mike Rimer donning a disguise.

Erik Gives Up Running Contests

Seeing that NiroZ is much more dedicated and efficient at running official Caravel contests than myself, I have turned over the latest contest to NiroZ. I also gave up on running the last three contests, letting NiroZ handle them. I think he's done a great job so far, and will continue to do so. Please take a look at his latest contest, which is about making your own April Fools jokes.

http://caravelgames.com/contest.php

Blacklist of People To Whom We Don't Want to Sell DROD: The City Beneath

There is a fairly lengthy "blacklist" of people to whom we do not wish to sell DROD: The City Beneath. It is my sincere preference that people on this list would not buy a copy, no matter how much they want it. I realize this request can't be enforced, because it's always possible to have someone else buy the game on your behalf. But still I ask these people who are listed below to not buy a copy. We don't want to sell you the game. Why? If your name is on this list, it is because of past dealings with Caravel that have given you a certain "reputation". And I really don't think we should bring it out in public. If you have any argument with your name being on the list, please just e-mail me at erikh@caravelgames.com. But to be honest, if you are upset by the inclusion of your name, you should have considered the consequences of your earlier actions.

Click here to view the secret text


When I return from my trip in Europe, I will carefully look through some e-mails I have at home, and add some more names to the blacklist. I recommend staying on my good side. You never know what might put your name on the list!

The Next Caravel Game Is Already Written

Mike Rimer wrote the next Caravel Game even before DROD: The City Beneath was finished. He was irritated with me bottlenecking the project and needed something productive to do while he waited. So he just wrote another game. Okay, it's not completely finished, because we need to throw in some more artwork, levels, and polish, but the basic game engine is done and works great. I played through the first few levels of the game several months ago. In this game, Beethro has hit points and other statistics like attack and defense that gradually increase as you move through the levels. We are considering giving Beethro a ray gun. Why not? The working title of the game is "DROD RPG", but we are likely to call it something else later, like maybe "Budkins Gone Wild" or "Smiting II: Electric Boogaloo".

No Lies Found in this Illumination Were False

There's no reason to argue this point.

No Truths Found in this Illumination Were False

Equally correct as the previous point.

Everything I Say Is Flawlessly Consistent

You don't believe me? Read through the whole thing again. And this time, pay attention!

-Erik

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The Machine Court podcast - Scifi comedy about the horrible and ridiculous future. http://seespacelabs.com/machine-court/

[Last edited by mrimer at 02-19-2009 05:06 AM]
04-01-2007 at 10:40 PM
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TripleM
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icon Re: Terrible Lies and Unexpected Truths. (+2)  
04-01-2007 at 10:44 PM
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TripleM
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icon Re: Terrible Lies and Unexpected Truths. (0)  
Note that above link now works, but the link it refers you to still only has JtRH.
04-01-2007 at 10:46 PM
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Chaco
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icon Re: Terrible Lies and Unexpected Truths. (0)  
On the minus side,

http://www.caravelgames.com/Articles/Games_2/TCB.html

Also, Elfstone, Adam Peterson and Clayton Weiss are on that blacklist twice. :)

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[Last edited by Chaco at 04-01-2007 10:48 PM]
04-01-2007 at 10:46 PM
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schep
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icon Re: Terrible Lies and Unexpected Truths. (0)  
Wow, Erik posted his blacklist. I bet you all know exactly what you've done. I agree, you really shouldn't be buying TCB.

04-01-2007 at 10:51 PM
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TripleM
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icon Re: Terrible Lies and Unexpected Truths. (+1)  
Oh, by the way, I'm currently downloading:
http://www.caravelgames.com/distfiles/DRODTCBDemoSetup.exe , if anyone didn't realise.

[Last edited by TripleM at 04-01-2007 10:54 PM]
04-01-2007 at 10:54 PM
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Tahnan
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quote:
schep wrote:
Wow, Erik posted his blacklist. I bet you all know exactly what you've done. I agree, you really shouldn't be buying TCB.


I'm a little surprised that I'm not blacklisted. I kind of thought I ought to be...
04-01-2007 at 10:56 PM
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TripleM
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25% complete.. I guess I should have waited until I had downloaded it completely before telling others, I'm sure hoping it doesn't slow down soon :)
04-01-2007 at 10:57 PM
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eytanz
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icon Re: Terrible Lies and Unexpected Truths. (0)  
Well, as Erik said, he is currently away from his computer and doesn't have access to all his lists. I'm sure there are more people who will be prevented from buying TCB that just aren't readily accessible to him right now.

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04-01-2007 at 10:58 PM
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NiroZ
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How in the hell did you find these? Or is just a bit of brute force?


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A still more glorious dawn awaits
Not a sunrise, but a galaxy rise
A morning filled with 400 billion suns
The rising of the milky way - Carl Sagan.


[Last edited by NiroZ at 04-01-2007 11:00 PM]
04-01-2007 at 11:00 PM
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Krissan
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icon Re: Terrible Lies and Unexpected Truths. (0)  
Aawww crap, it's out?! ;( (I bet I'm the only one who just thought that).

I have no credit card connected to my active account, and I'm currently waiting for the bank transfer to my old account... but it's going to take till tuesday. I was really hoping the game would be delayed till then, now I'm just going to sit and be sad I can't play the full game while everybody else is having a good time... :(

*going for the demo*

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04-01-2007 at 11:01 PM
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Andy101
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I've only looked at the title screen so far and already I'm impressed :)

I'd like to thank all of those folk at CaravelNet for putting what I'm sure was a lot of hard work and toil to produce what I'm equally sure is a great sequel to JtRH.

Now onto level 1...

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04-01-2007 at 11:02 PM
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TripleM
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quote:
Krissan wrote:
Aawww crap, it's out?! ;( (I bet I'm the only one who just thought that).

I have no credit card connected to my active account, and I'm currently waiting for the bank transfer to my old account... but it's going to take till tuesday. I was really hoping the game would be delayed till then, now I'm just going to sit and be sad I can't play the full game while everybody else is having a good time... :(

*going for the demo*

Don't worry, at the moment it looks like they've only released the demo. Perhaps the full version isn't quite ready yet.
04-01-2007 at 11:02 PM
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Oneiromancer
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The full version should be ready, I think there are some small technical difficulties...stay tuned!

Game on,

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04-01-2007 at 11:03 PM
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TripleM
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Yay! The full version is now out!
04-01-2007 at 11:05 PM
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Chaco
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Yay! The Mac demo is available too!

http://www.caravelgames.com/distfiles/DRODTCBDemoSetup.dmg

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04-01-2007 at 11:10 PM
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Stefan
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icon Re: Terrible Lies and Unexpected Truths. (+1)  
And for Linux:
http://www.caravelgames.com/distfiles/DRODTCBDemoSetup.run

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04-01-2007 at 11:13 PM
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Chaco
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Away - playing TCB demo.

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04-01-2007 at 11:14 PM
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Briareos
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quote:
eytanz wrote:
Well, as Erik said, he is currently away from his computer and doesn't have access to all his lists. I'm sure there are more people who will be prevented from buying TCB that just aren't readily accessible to him right now.

And there I thought "whoa, am I glad that I ain't on that list" right after buying TCB... and now the suspense is killing me three times over... :w00t

Then again, I'd have bought it anyway... :D

np: Death Cab For Cutie - Wait (You Can Play These Songs With Chords)

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R.I.P. Robert Feldhoff (1962-2009) :(
04-01-2007 at 11:16 PM
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Jatopian
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My guesses: True, true, true, false, false, false, false, true, false. Especially the blacklist; I doubt Erik's gonna insult his wife that way, and what grudge could he hold against Elfstone? Heck, I deserve it more than Elfstone. I think he just made his list of frequent, prominent forum-goers and persons he knows personally.
quote:
NiroZ wrote:
How in the hell did you find these? Or is just a bit of brute force?
I also wonder this. Google search "filetype:exe" doesn't work.
I did find these lovely (irrelevant) web pages though: http://drod.caravelgames.com/Images/Fulce1.html http://drod.caravelgames.com/Images//DRODAdvert.swf

I would go run off and play the demo, but I need to find out the system requirements.

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04-01-2007 at 11:20 PM
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zex20913
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My guess is that the blacklist is some form of

Click here to view the secret text


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04-01-2007 at 11:21 PM
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Stefan
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quote:
Jatopian wrote:
I would go run off and play the demo, but I need to find out the system requirements.
If you can play JtRH on the computer, you should be able to play TCB. I've played it on a Pentium 200MHz with 64MB RAM, so...

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04-01-2007 at 11:24 PM
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NiroZ
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quote:
Jatopian wrote:
My guesses: True, true, true, false, false, false, false, true, false. Especially the blacklist; I doubt Erik's gonna insult his wife that way, and what grudge could he hold against Elfstone? Heck, I deserve it more than Elfstone. I think he just made his list of frequent, prominent forum-goers and persons he knows personally.

Or more likely, he's going to send them a copy, thus he's not going to let them buy it.

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A still more glorious dawn awaits
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A morning filled with 400 billion suns
The rising of the milky way - Carl Sagan.

04-01-2007 at 11:46 PM
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Rabscuttle
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This announcement came out just after I left for work.

On Monday.
04-02-2007 at 12:18 AM
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Tahnan
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Ah, credits. I was thinking, "Didn't I claim one as a prize from a contest at some point?"

So, been playing around with the demo. And the editor. And can I just take a moment to say, Holy [censored] [censored] of [censored] and [censored]!

Oh, I am so looking forward to actually having the time to spend with this.
04-02-2007 at 12:21 AM
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Oneiromancer
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I foresee "food poisoning" in Rabscuttle's immediate future. Poor guy, he's gonna have to go home and sleep it off.

Game on,

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04-02-2007 at 12:21 AM
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noma
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May I just say... "Woo hoo!" and send a great big "Thank you to all involved in getting TCB out to us, not only by April 1st, not only for Windows users, but also Linux and us OSXers too!" Maybe Elfstone's chant worked.
04-02-2007 at 12:36 AM
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Rabscuttle
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There are no new screenshots anywhere, are there? New room images? (that you can see even if you haven't visited the rooms) Updated room images (if they look different in TCB?)

04-02-2007 at 12:42 AM
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mrimer
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quote:
Rabscuttle wrote:
There are no new screenshots anywhere, are there? New room images? (that you can see even if you haven't visited the rooms) Updated room images (if they look different in TCB?)

We'll get some up. For now, stop by Danforth's office (press Quit on the title screen).

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04-02-2007 at 12:47 AM
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jbluestein
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Presumably the 'blacklist' is people who will be getting free copies -- they'd rather people not buy them for that reason. Interesting that Elfstone made the list twice, though.

;)

Josh (whitelisted!)

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04-02-2007 at 12:47 AM
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