Hi. Welcome to the forums.
It's great to see people making new holds.
I've played all of Beethro and the TARDIS and up to the 2nd room of the 2nd level of Exterminators.
You might want to make 2 seperate threads to discuss this two holds.
My thoughts on your holds:
Good points - the rooms are completable, and in Beethro and the TARDIS there are some rooms that take a bit of skill and thought and therefore present a challenge. I like that you've integrated a story into each hold, rather than just presenting us with some random rooms.
I like the secret room in Exterminators, level 1. This is a clever trick, which could be used to hide secret information in a hold.
Criticisms -
Have you played through your first hold from start to finish?
Have you done so twice? What you'll probably notice is that it gets a bit tedious, since you're either standing in one place to kill roaches, or you're running down a line or roaches again and again. (This is what is referred to a hack-and-slash room). This can sometimes be fun and satisfying, but every room so far has been like that, and it gets pretty tedious fast. It's also not challenging at all, since there is no thought involved in how you are going to clear the room. (The trapdoor challenge in the 2nd level is an exception, for example)
In other words, the room would be as effective with a tenth, or a hundredth of the number of roaches, and would be less tedious. And it would be more fun and more challenging if the player was forced to vary what he had to do (either by involving puzzle elements, or by making more complex arrangements of hordes of monsters).
Also, if you've played your hold a couple of times and made a mistake, you may notice you have to start a room from the very start. This is frustrating. So I suggest you should INCLUDE CHECKPOINTS. These are the little red Xs, and you can restart from them when you die (you probably know all this anyway).
Lastly, scripting - it's worth reading a bit about how to script, or experimenting a bit more. In Beethro and the TARDIS there are two problems. 1. The scripting repeats every time you enter the room and 2. Beethro's speech appears in the middle of the room, even when he's not standing there.
These can be fixed by adding "
End"
or "
End on room exit"
commands, and by making sure the speech is assigned to Beethro. You don't have to make seperate characters for each person speaking, but can put the Beethro speech in with the Doctor's.
I'd also suggest making the holds Anyone Edit, so that people testing them can have a look at how the rooms are made and skip ahead if they get stuck on a room.
There are other comments I could make on specific rooms, and on mistakes in the text, but I'll leave that for now.
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