NiroZ
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finally played though all the holds.

I personally prefered the ones that had a stong narrative to them, and could keep me interested. I didn't really mind how interactive they were, seeing as this is a story contest, not a hold contest.

gg to you all, i found it an interesting look at what some of our forumers are like.

Tahnan
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Hey, you! (Yes you!) Twelve people have voted so far for this contest. If nine of them are the people who entered...well, c'mon, y'all, it won't hurt you to "play" through these. (Where "play" really pretty much means "walk".)

They're interesting, they're varied, they're short. They're easier than a hold by LarryMurk. What've you got to lose?

Chaco
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Tahnan's is probably the hardest to actually finish, and it's still just a trapdoor puzzle and acting - which are not that hard.

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Ezlo
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I'm still in third? I think there are plenty better than mine! I spent only two hours on it for cripes sake!

techant
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I notice that alot more 1's seem to have shown up but I just can't see how any of those holds deserved a one. After all eyeballs didn't get entered.

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tokyokid
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techant wrote:
I notice that alot more 1's seem to have shown up but I just can't see how any of those holds deserved a one.

I noticed that too. I voted for all the entries as 7 or higher. I don't see why anyone would mark it as a 1 Thats not right

Chaco
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Also, Tahnan's entry is strangely untouched by this.

Tahnan, do you have any younger siblings who might be messing around with your computer?

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Ezlo
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I'm in second. How?

Chaco
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I've taken a nosedive from first place to about fourth.

I'm not complaining, this is just mostly as a result of the 1-spamming here.

EDIT:

Actually, the ones are gone now. But I still see a lot of low votes on a lot of stories.

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[Last edited by Chaco at 07-26-2006 02:13 PM]

Banjooie
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I chose not to vote, because while a lot of these were really well done, I kinda got bored of, like. They meandered, y'know?

There was no sense of beginning, middle, and end in half the stories, it was just 'I went to the park. I played some ball. Then I went home.'

I don't mean to be mean, here, and I didn't enter cause I couldn't think of a relative story, but think of it, like. Think of it like a joke.

There was...like, you'd have good setups? But then the end would sort of peter out. And it saddened me, because I was watching Chaco's and expecting some delicious chicanery with the unfiled book and his book and perhaps some inexplicable switcheroo with the punching teenagers.

Y'know what I mean?

eytanz
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Well, they were supposed to be real-life stories. Very few of those follow proper narrative arcs...

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Banjooie
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Sure they do. Pick up a Reader's Digest sometime, it's not that hard to find definitive narrative arcs in life.

ErikH2000
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Banjooie wrote:
Sure they do. Pick up a Reader's Digest sometime, it's not that hard to find definitive narrative arcs in life.

I kind of see what you're saying, but at the same time, your standards are pretty high for a group of non-professional authors. Well, I guess you were just speaking for what was entertaining to you, which is valid and certainly can't be argued with.

I can think of at least one hold from the collection that did follow a planned structure and ended dramatically. That would be Techant's. She set up an unresolved conflict, flashed back on some memories, and finished the story with a strong resolution.

There's the old dilemma in interactive fiction between "let the player explore" versus "force the player to perform story events". Most holds in this collection erred on the side of exploration.

-Erik

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gamer_extreme_101
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I'm really upset now that I didn't finish mine on my first day at working the Return desk at Wal-Mart. There were so many great moments and so much oppertunity for interaction....

Alas, but I got lazy. Serves me right.

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eytanz
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Banjooie wrote:
Sure they do. Pick up a Reader's Digest sometime, it's not that hard to find definitive narrative arcs in life.

No. It's not hard to impose narrative arcs on life, but at least in the way I understood the contest, that wasn't quite the assignment, which was to use DROD as a medium to re-enact a true-life scene, not tell an enthralling story based on real life.

Spoilery discussion of Chaco's entry below:



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NiroZ
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eytanz wrote:


Spoilery discussion of Chaco's entry below:

Click here to view the secret text

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Chaco's entry, while one of my favourites, is a bit disappointing in this regard because it had an episode that had the components of a good narrative in it, but it placed the focus on the wrong elements. In that, it achieved some things (the surprise and shock at the assult at the end which comes out of nowhere seems to be close to his actual feelings) while at the same time making the whole piece be meandering. Most of the other stories, however, just weren't that dramatic to begin with, and the authors did a fine job with what they had.

more on charco

gamer_extreme_101
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I agree. I think that if Erik had announced this as August's contest back in July, then I probably would have had more confidence that I could have come up with a higher-quality entry.

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techant
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I felt we had enough time to complete a nice story hold. This contest required about the same amount of time as most of the last 10 or more contests. Only the record a voice contests seemed to take less time. While I had to rush at the end that was because of my busy month not the time line given for the contest.

By the way Erik thanks for the nice comments on my layout. I did plan that effect and was glad someone noticed it. It was very interesting to tell a story this way. I am sure some creative writing teachers could benifit from trying something like this to get their students thinking outside the box.

My thoughts on Chaco's entry


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Ezlo
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No one has comments about mine and yet it's in second place. Anyone have anything to say? I'd like some constructive thoughts.

NiroZ
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Ezlo wrote:
No one has comments about mine and yet it's in second place. Anyone have anything to say? I'd like some constructive thoughts.

well what do you want to know?

From memory, you forgot to set your characters as invincible, and at one point the player was told "i real life i didn't have this sword" (duh) a more quirky/amusing/unique explanation might have been in order. On the plus side you had a conclusion, and a interesting story.

Jason
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I thought it was kinda weird at the end where you are about to go on and then... It's over.

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Ezlo
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Well, that's it, I didn't have time to add a interactive scene with the play like I wanted too, and I purposly set my characters as vunerable because I wanted you all to resist temptation.

Chaco
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Well, what would have happened if I had gotten rid of the "get out of bed, go to the library, walk home from library" scenes?

Then only three things would have happened: I would have gotten a new book, gotten beaten up, then walked home. That's not that much of a story. I figured that the fact that I spent a lot of time making the house and the neighborhood look as close to fact as possible might help, but I guess not.

I'm not angry, but in retrospect I guess there were a few things I could have done. But I submitted it only a couple days before the deadline, so it's not like I had much time to do anything else.

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[Last edited by Chaco at 07-27-2006 01:01 PM]

NiroZ
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Chaco wrote:
Well, what would have happened if I had gotten rid of the "get out of bed, go to the library, walk home from library" scenes?

Then only three things would have happened: I would have gotten a new book, gotten beaten up, then walked home. That's not that much of a story. I figured that the fact that I spent a lot of time making the house and the neighborhood look as close to fact as possible might help, but I guess not.

I'm not angry, but in retrospect I guess there were a few things I could have done. But I submitted it only a couple days before the deadline, so it's not like I had much time to do anything else.

actually, you could have gotten out of bed, walked out of the house, skipped to the libary, handed in the book and picked another book off a nearby shelf, then started to walk home, skip some road scenes, appear in the room with the skateboarders.

You just unnessacarly prolonged it, and thus could have spent the time on a more elaborate 'fight' scene.

Chaco
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Hmm. Yeah, I guess that'd be better. If I ever do another story like this again.

...which I highly doubt, but I will keep it in mind.

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jbluestein
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Well, I done voted. I gave the my highest votes to Jason, Tahnan and Pilchard, although Jason's seemed the best. The wubba following everyone around really warmed the cockles of my heart, obedient animal following its master.

...what? It was a handbag? Oh well, never mind. I still enjoyed it.

Tahnan's was fun, but the rehearsal scene was painful to get through.

On Pilchard's, I just liked the story.

The rest got varying scores based on how engaged I was and how much I had to wait for the speech in order to properly move on.

Interesting contest idea!

Josh

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Jason
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Thanks, jbluestein! Great to hear your comments! Glad you liked my hold.

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Pilchard VIII
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Ditto!

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Ezlo
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Congradulations Tahnan! You win! I get second and Chaco gets third even though I should've been fifth or something.

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[Last edited by Ezlo at 07-31-2006 01:11 AM]

Chaco
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Wow, guess the Law of Large Numbers doesn't apply here. First I was in the lead, then techant pulled ahead. Now I find that Tahnan wins!

Great going guys. I'd like to thank everyone for voting honestly. And I'm happy I won third place. This is the second time I've placed in the top three.

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