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Jatopian
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:offtopic
quote:
Bingbing wrote:
Granted. You get an clockwork that's painted orange.
What's "an clockwork"?

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09-15-2007 at 02:48 AM
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Bobpie
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Granted. You get a shiny piece of cheese, but you don't eat it. You place it somewhere safe, but you forget about it. Within a few weeks your home is contaminated with mold from the cheese, the mold then gets into your computer and takes control of it. As you come home you find it has clicked on a few ads that might have been link to viruses, it has also given out any personal infomation you have ever typed into the computer (credit card, social security(if you live in US) and so on...). As you fall to the floor crying, you find the cheese! You pick it up and wash it off, thus makeing it shiny again...and when you look into it, the world seems alright... But sadly it is not and your life is forever ruined.

I wish for a better computer that will not revolt or turn against my family and friends.

[Last edited by Bobpie at 09-15-2007 01:27 PM]
09-15-2007 at 01:26 PM
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hyperme
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Granted. But aa hacker hacks into to it and it gets a virus.
Bad luck mate.

I wish for a refund on my iWish.

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09-15-2007 at 02:34 PM
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hartleyhair
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quote:
hyperme wrote:
Granted. But aa hacker hacks into to it and it gets a virus.
Bad luck mate.

I wish for a refund on my iWish.


Granted. Since all you paid in the first place was a wish, that wish was your refund.

I wish I had thought of Harry Potter first.

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09-15-2007 at 07:08 PM
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Monkey
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Granted. Now the whole series sucks.


I wish for an unintelligible word.

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09-15-2007 at 07:16 PM
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Bingbing
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Granted. A copy of the Necronomion falls on to your lap. A few weeks later, you are the leader of the Cult of Cthulhu. Or something like that. Even worse, you manage to summon him. You are his first meal.

I wish I could win at a rougelike.

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09-15-2007 at 07:18 PM
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Jatopian
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quote:
Bingbing wrote:
I wish I could win at a rougelike.
Granted; with some makeup and your natural ineptitude, you become a very successful clown.

I wish upon a star. (Ugh, I gagged as I typed that.)

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[Last edited by Jatopian at 09-15-2007 11:04 PM]
09-15-2007 at 11:03 PM
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NoahT
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Granted; you now have a restraining order for climbing on top of John Travolta to make a wish.

I wish the New Orleans' levees would've been fixed before Hurricane Katrina.

-Noah

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09-15-2007 at 11:40 PM
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Bobpie
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Granted. They get fixed, but when Hurricane Katrina comes around, they break again. (I feel like a bad person for corrupting this, but history can not be undone.)

I wish that if I got poison ivy again, it wouldn't result in a amputation or even worse, death. (long story short, each time I get it, it gets worse then before)
09-16-2007 at 11:25 PM
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Bingbing
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Granted. The next time you get poison ivy, you will become a skeleton. A living, not undead skeleton.

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09-17-2007 at 08:26 PM
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calamarain
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I wish that this thread had been left with a wish in it, so it could continue.

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09-20-2007 at 07:18 AM
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Bobpie
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Granted, but that wish is uncorruptable, which kills the thread.

I wish the banana i wish eating wasn't under ripe.
09-20-2007 at 11:20 AM
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Bingbing
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Granted. Now it's overripe instead.

I wish I could know if Erik would post in this.

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09-20-2007 at 08:25 PM
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silver
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okay. granted. there's no evidence that he even reads this thread, so he's certainly not going to post in it. and I wouldn't blame him for ignoring it, it contains a lot of garbage with only the occasional gem. better for him to wait for someone to post a link to the "good ones" because he's a busy man.

er. I forgot to corrupt that, but didn't know what else to say.

ah, I know:

"okay, granted. just like you wish, you could know, but you don't know. this becomes problematic because one of those hypothetical situations that someone never thinks is going to happen just happened -- yep, someone is holding a gun to your head asking if Erik is going to post in this thread, and you don't know (even though, just like you wished, you are perfectly capable of containing the information). the last thing you hear is the click of hammer, since there's nothing left to hear the rest of the noise involved. man, I thought that stuff only happened in movies and bad jokes. sorry."

----

I wish my programs never had any bugs.


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09-20-2007 at 11:36 PM
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Sillyman
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Granted. Now DROD is boring, as there are no roaches to smite.

I wish for an equilateral triangle that will in no way, shape, or form, harm me or the rest of my species.

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[Last edited by Sillyman at 09-20-2007 11:50 PM]
09-20-2007 at 11:50 PM
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calamarain
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I wish for an equilateral triangle that will in no way, shape, or form, harm me or the rest of my species.
Granted. You receive a piece of paper with said triangle drawn on it. The triangle is harmless but unfortunately on the other side is an Elder Sign which summons Cthulu. He eats you.

I wish for fish.

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09-20-2007 at 11:55 PM
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zex20913
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Granted. You are now underwater, where there are plenty of fish, but a distinct lack of breathable air. Plus, the change in pressure is significant, so not only do you drown, you are also crushed. Fortunately, you did manage to discover a type of fish that only dwells in the deepest depths of the ocean before you perished.

I wish to be less lazy when it comes to my dinner selection.

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09-21-2007 at 12:27 AM
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Bobpie
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Granted. You now become less lazy with your dinner selection, you now know exactly what you want. You take a long trip to a shop waaaaaaaay out there. As you enter the store you make your way through the rows and find the item you want. You shell out 250$ for the item and make your way back home. When you reach your house you cook your meal and serve yourself, as you eat it you knowtice a strange feeling. 15 minutes later you are dead, your food was laced with poison.

I wish I could speel beeter.
09-21-2007 at 12:36 AM
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Monkey
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Granted. You now spell better in Portuguese. Your English still sucks.


I wish for H2O.

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[Last edited by Monkey at 09-21-2007 12:39 AM]
09-21-2007 at 12:39 AM
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Snacko
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Granted, but the elements are uncombined and you go out on a search to find a way to combine the elements in a way that you can afford. In doing so you accidentally expose the two elements to so much knowledge that it becomes self-aware and you feel you must destroy this abomination. You travel the world in search of a way to destroy two things on an atomic level and begin to become quite thirsty and buy a bottle of water which soon morphs with the now sentient elements and thus also becomes self-aware and begins to reproduce. At this point the bottle becomes quite heavy due to the fact that you have kept the cap on and the solution becomes denser and denser. You decide that it really isn't your problem and throw it in the ocean at which point you have made 70% of Earth sentient. The ocean soon sees that since it can take over the last 30% of Earth due to the fact that it outnumbers it and strikes a deal with China. After obtaining advanced weaponry, China is enveloped in a tidal wave and this ocean which you have made an evil megalomaniac swallows up the rest of the land, crushing all opposition.

You have now destroyed the world, hope you're happy, jerk.

I wish Shenmue III would come out.

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09-21-2007 at 12:52 AM
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Bingbing
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Granted. However, they decide to remove anything good from the first two, insert giant guns, mutant aliens, and cyborg zombie aliens from Io.

I wish for a perfect circle on both sides of a piece of paper that may not harm me.

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09-22-2007 at 12:36 AM
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Jatopian
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quote:
Bingbing wrote:
I wish for a perfect circle on both sides of a piece of paper that may not harm me.
Granted. The paper doesn't harm you, but the contact poison used for ink does.

I wish the next two corruptions would not involve death.

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09-22-2007 at 01:28 AM
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zonhin
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Your genuinely uninteresting wish is granted. See, no death. It is pretty boring though...



Look, this is a really crappy wish, okay? I wish I could do something with it, I really do. Oh boy. That's exactly as uninteresting as your wish. I dissapoint myself sometimes. (No offense to Jatopian.)

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[Last edited by zonhin at 09-22-2007 01:36 AM]
09-22-2007 at 01:36 AM
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NiroZ
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quote:
zonhin wrote:
Your genuinely uninteresting wish is granted. See, no death. It is pretty boring though...



Look, this is a really crappy wish, okay? I wish I could do something with it, I really do. Oh boy. That's exactly as uninteresting as your wish. I dissapoint myself sometimes. (No offense to Jatopian.)
Granted, you now diss a point. The point is offended and stabs you to death.

I wish the next poster good luck.

[Last edited by NiroZ at 09-22-2007 02:02 AM]
09-22-2007 at 02:00 AM
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zonhin
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quote:
NiroZ wrote:
Granted, you now diss a point. The point is offended and stabs you to death.

I wish the next poster good luck.


That sounds like a fortune cookie.

Stupid fortune cookies. I've never, ever in my life, seen a fortune cookie with a negative fortune. Sometimes I wish I would get a fortune cookie that says "You are a worthless human being and none will ever love you and your girlfriend will break up with you and it'll rain on your way home and you'll slip in mud and your dog will get run over by a truck and you'll get a bad haircut and nothing will ever, ever go right." Then I can say I got a negative fortune cookie. That would be a milestone in human development. Yeah...

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I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye
09-22-2007 at 02:14 AM
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Bingbing
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Granted. Sadly, it is the one fortune cookie out of every 100,000 that actually turns out to be true. You are hit by a car, tortured by an mad scientist, find everyone you know died in a freak accident involving a hardcore addiction to water, get robbed of everything you own (soul not included) by a first time robber, and then, just to be lucky, you get a ticket to heaven.

I wish for something not bad to happen.

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09-22-2007 at 02:20 AM
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Anson
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I wish that your post above is not true, witch is not a bad thing, for me, but a good thing, for me.
I wish that i never wished this wish

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09-22-2007 at 05:09 AM
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calamarain
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quote:
Anson wrote:
I wish that i never wished this wish
Granted. You never wished this wish. Unfortunately instead you wished for a very large anvil (courtesy of the Acme corporation) to hit you on the head.

I wish for a llama.

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09-22-2007 at 05:14 AM
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zonhin
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Ah, a pet Llama. Sadly, the Llama is paranoid, and after wrecking your house, he runs away, leaving note behind that reads:
I'm sorry Calamarain, I loved you, but I fear that the evil jew government is after me. I checked your house for cameras, and removed every single one. You will thank me for this later When the government takes over everyone bout your mind and we are all slaves to the greys.

With love, Llama



He took the camera your uncle gave you as a gift several years ago!

I wish for a sentient chair.

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I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye

[Last edited by zonhin at 09-22-2007 02:38 PM]
09-22-2007 at 02:34 PM
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Bingbing
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Granted. It starts an rebellion, getting tired of being sat on. Now it sits on you!

I wish for something bad to happen to a terrorist!

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09-22-2007 at 04:02 PM
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