noma
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Contest
In what seems to be an unlikely synchronization between worlds -- but is more likely just "one of those things" -- St. Patrick's Day coincides with the birthday of the 1st Slayer*. So in honour of this momentous coincidence I'm proposing a limerick contest.

Rules
1. Stick generally to the accepted form of limerick. For examples and description, click here.
2. All submissions must be original and not have already been posted on this site.
3. Limericks must be somehow, however loosely, DROD themed.
4. You may submit up to two entries. If more than two are submitted, I will take the first two posted, so be sure to delete (by the submission deadline) any limericks you don't want considered for the vote.

Deadline
Submit your entries in this thread by midnight March 16th. You can edit your entries up until the submission deadline.

Judging
On March 17th I will post all limericks in a separate thread and they will be judged by poll. The poll will remain open for three days and the winners will be announced on March 20th.

Prizes
1st place: 3 rank points and the title of Poet Laureate (for a day anyway)
2nd place: 2 rank points and the knowledge that you are poetically gifted
3rd place: 1 rank point and the right to say, "I coulda been a contender!" (Again, for one day only, please.)

*Well it might, except that no one is really sure when the 1st Slayer actually was born, but it could have been on March 17th**.
**Or on the Dugandish calendar equivalent, of course.

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[Last edited by noma at 03-10-2008 01:52 AM]

noma
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Although not eligible for the vote, I am offering my own birthday limerick to inspire other potential poets-in-hiding to come out of the dungeon.

Fat Telpo the Guard was a fighter
Who fancied himself quite the smiter
But faced with an adder
He emptied his bladder
Then found he was several limbs lighter.

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[Last edited by noma at 03-10-2008 01:44 AM]

calamarain
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There once was a lively young Slayer
Whose hairs went steadily grayer
To his distress
The cause was just stress
At not catching Beethro the player.

____________________________
My Holds

Mr. Slice
Level: Disabled
Rank Points: 140
Registered: 10-26-2007
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A scripting engine fantastic
powerful, easy, elastic
no idiotic things,
that make you say, "no ponging no pings"
not something worth low quality plastic (still need to work on this one.)

____________________________
"To see or to hear is to know, but to
do is to understand"

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[Last edited by Mr. Slice at 03-11-2008 12:39 PM]

Dex Stewart
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Mr. Slice wrote:
The scripting engine is fantastic
powerful, easy, and elastic
no idiotic, stupid things,
that make you say, "lots of pongs and pings"
not something worth low quality plastic

Calamarain may have stretched the rules of a limerick a tiny bit, but you're downright shredding them to pieces. That's not a limerick.

Jatopian
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Yeah, I have to agree with Dex Stewart. That doesn't even begin to scan, let alone make sense.

____________________________
DROD has some really great music.
Make your pressure plates 3.0 style!
DROD architecture idea generator

Tahnan
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An amateur poet named Slice
Wrote limericks that weren't so nice:
They didn't make sense
And forced rhymes like this: pence;
And for some of the lines, if you wanted to know "how many times more words did they have than they should", the answer would be "at least twice".

Mr. Slice
Level: Disabled
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That's why I don't normally participate in a contest, I don't get the freaking rules.

But seriously, what the hell is wrong with it? I can try to make a better one, but someone might just want to explain something to me! It's for your own good.

EDIT: I went to this website that hopefully had good information for righting limericks. If that doesn't work, at least you can stop making fun of me.

____________________________
"To see or to hear is to know, but to
do is to understand"

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[Last edited by Mr. Slice at 03-09-2008 11:33 PM]

Mr. Slice
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I made a different limerick that barely bends the rules of this particuler guide.



I hope you won't make fun of me again.

____________________________
"To see or to hear is to know, but to
do is to understand"

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[Last edited by Mr. Slice at 03-11-2008 12:40 PM]

Monkey
Level: Master Delver

Rank Points: 190
Registered: 03-21-2006
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I mean, seriously.

Edit: Okay, I got bored.

There was once an addicted DROD player
Who consistently made it his prayer
But his hard disk got wiped,
And he constantly griped
About how he would re-kill the slayer.

Oh, and make prayer 2 syllables, not 1.

____________________________
lurking

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[Last edited by Monkey at 03-10-2008 02:02 AM]

Jatopian
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Mr. Slice wrote:
I hope you won't make fun of me again.

No one made fun of you. Well, except Tahnan, but he wasn't mean about it.

Basically, there are two things wrong with your new limerick. The second and fifth lines have too few syllables (they should have as many as the first, possibly +/-1). Also, the subject of the poem is nonsensical - which can be alright, but here you need to fit the assigned subject matter. The only DROD-related part is the undeveloped assertion that Micheal is a delver.

____________________________
DROD has some really great music.
Make your pressure plates 3.0 style!
DROD architecture idea generator

Briareos
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There once was this messed up Slayer,
who'd been pasted into a layer
where he didn't belong
everything was all wrong
so he kept on taunting the player.

I might blame the discussion in the Slayerly contest thread on that one...

____________________________
"I'm not anti-anything, I'm anti-everything, it fits better." - Sole
R.I.P. Robert Feldhoff (1962-2009)

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[Last edited by Briareos at 03-10-2008 01:12 PM]

noma
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I didn't want to turn this into a poetry lesson, but just to help out those struggling...

Often silly, more often obscene (though for this contest let's keep it clean), a limerick is a five line poem that is usually comical or ends with a twist. The first, second and fifth lines rhyme and have 8-10 syllables; the third and fourth lines rhyme and have 5 to 7 syllables.

Example inspired by the previous paragraph:
Often silly, more often obscene,
(Though for this contest, let’s keep it clean)
A poem, five lines,
A A B B A rhymes (um)
I just ask that critiques aren’t too mean.

There are two usual forms for a limerick: anapaestic and amphibrachic.

Anapaestic Limerick Form
Two unstressed syllables, followed by a stressed one (da da DUM)

da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM

Example
(note the variations, often gotten around by slurring syllables together or stretching one syllable into two)
The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical,
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
-Anonymous

-----------

Amphibrachic Form of Limerick
a stressed syllable between two unstressed ones (da DUM da)

da DUM da da DUM da da DUM (da)
da DUM da da DUM da da DUM (da)
da DUM da da DUM (da)
da DUM da da DUM (da)
da DUM da da DUM da da DUM (da)

Example
I favour the limerick form
For serious work not the norm;
A new way to capture,
A feeling of rapture,
Or visions of wild thunderstorm.
-Joel D. Ash

---------------------------

Other slight variations or combinations of the two forms are acceptable. Even the examples I've provided don't always follow the exact patterns.

Bottom line: it's more about having a silly bit of fun than sticking exactly to rules for a silly form of poetry. So cough 'em up!

P.S. Since it's already begun, let's skip the submission topic and just post your limericks here. I'll still compile them into a voting poll later. If you submit more than two limericks, I will only take the first two posted.

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[Last edited by noma at 03-10-2008 06:55 AM]

mrimer
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There once was a stalwart from Tueno
Who laughed when his buddy quaffed Draino.
But this was a duel
And he was no fool
So, drinking, said "Bring on the pain-o!"



____________________________
Gandalf? Yes... That's what they used to call me.
Gandalf the Grey. That was my name.
I am Gandalf the White.
And I come back to you now at the turn of the tide.

Remlin
Level: Master Delver
Rank Points: 181
Registered: 04-28-2005
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It strikes dread in the hearts of cruel lords,
To say naught of the tar and roach hordes.
But it's the dames, so I hear,
Who shout loudest in fear
When ol' Beethro unsheathes his Big Sword.

(With apologies to noma's request to keep it clean. I couldn't help myself!)

noma
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It was more of a guideline. Besides, that was more PG than R. And very limerickish too.

Tahnan
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Whenever a Stalwart approaches
A ravening onslaught of roaches,
He bids them "Good night!"
At the start of the fight--
In his native tongue, "Buenos noches!"

calamarain
Level: Smitemaster

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Registered: 03-25-2007
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There's a toxic young Slayer named Bor
Whose limericks stop on line four
They build up the pace
And put things in place

...

There was a young Stalwart named Gee
Whose limericks stopped on line three.
Nobody knows why.

...

There once was a player named Lou
Whose limericks stopped on line two...

...

There was a young man from Verdun.

____________________________
My Holds

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[Last edited by calamarain at 03-10-2008 01:00 PM]

Syntax
Level: Smitemaster
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There once was a rule which was broken,
The limerick as it was spoken.
Two words at a time, just
Maybe did rhyme. The verse
Caused cracks in the forum.

Syntax
Level: Smitemaster
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The eighth of the rhyme
Six halves at a time
One third of the seventh was mine

The fifth of the rest,
Three quarters the best
The eighth of the rhyme was mine

noma
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1594
Registered: 11-22-2006
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Just two days left for procrastination
To exercise your imagination
Since it’s my first contest
I shamelessly request
Enthusiastic participation

runtly
Level: Goblin

Rank Points: 18
Registered: 04-03-2007
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From holds down where strange lights are glowin'
Fights long drawn out still keep on goin'
"Mud's better by far,
Than silly blue tar!"
While 'round them the gel won't stop growin'.

____________________________
da runt.

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[Last edited by runtly at 03-16-2008 11:34 PM]

Tahnan
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Said Beethro, "The tale I must tell
Is of oozes that put me through hell.
You may find it bizarre,
But I tell you, by far
The worst of that stuff is the mud."

Rabscuttle
Level: Smitemaster

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I have a poem about war

The series of holds titled "war"
will certainly make your head sore.
DROD's deterministic?
That's unrealistic
with mimics and scripting galore.

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[Last edited by Rabscuttle at 03-17-2008 04:31 AM]

Syntax
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Quote, I say, quote my words
Repeat the standard of my sword
Syllables; break my rhyme
Roaches now perturb my mind

Eye for gel, and as
I cause
Orbs create those endless doors
Cause those wraithwings
to now fly
Busy, busy, and so goodbye

A heart does breathe,
Or so they
say, I carry on my broken way

The architect,
Walls complete
With my skills
No way: defeat

A queen, a king, a pawn, a knave
With those roaches as their slaves
Limericks are not my thing
I simple fought
this written script

[EDIT]

This was written after the deadline. I hadn't noticed but I'll leave it here for the future.

It's also important to read this in fixed font width. The penultimate verse uses this to represent the structure of an Architect's mind.

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[Last edited by Syntax at 03-17-2008 11:35 AM]

Briareos
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Syntax wrote:
It's also important to read this in fixed font width. The penultimate verse uses this to represent the structure of an Architect's mind.

Ummm... in that case you might want to edit it to put [code] and [/code]-tags around it...

____________________________
"I'm not anti-anything, I'm anti-everything, it fits better." - Sole
R.I.P. Robert Feldhoff (1962-2009)

Syntax
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Briareos wrote:

Syntax wrote:
It's also important to read this in fixed font width. The penultimate verse uses this to represent the structure of an Architect's mind.

Ummm... in that case you might want to edit it to put [code] and [/code]-tags around it...

I will once I die. That's when royalties start rolling on.
Until then I'll make it semi-mysterious.

Briareos
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Syntax wrote:
I will once I die. That's when royalties start rolling on.
Until then I'll make it semi-mysterious.

Careful - the collecting societies have their eyes and ears everywhere, and I'm not sure they'll stop at - ahem - "forced accidents"...

np: Röyksopp - Sombre Detune (The Understanding)

____________________________
"I'm not anti-anything, I'm anti-everything, it fits better." - Sole
R.I.P. Robert Feldhoff (1962-2009)

Syntax
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I hate it when accidents are forced At least I'd still get royalties...

Rabscuttle
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This is a haiku
But why is it in a thread
about limericks?