Samuel
Level: Delver

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff
ba dum tssh

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted," Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied," I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".

So Sylvester Stallone, Jackie Chan, and Arnold Schwarzenegger decide to make a movie about classical musicians. But they all had to pick a part so Sly goes first and says he wants to be Handel because that's his favorite, Jackie goes next and says he wants to be Mozart because he kicks ass. Then Arnold said, "I'll be Bach"

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I believe in everything until it's
disproved. So I believe in fairies,
the myths, dragons. It all exists,
even if it's in your mind. Who's to
say that dreams and nightmares
aren't as real as the here and now?
John Lennon

west.logan
Level: Smitemaster

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Jatopian
Level: Smitemaster
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Trickster wrote:
So the two-dimensional chicken, upon returning to her coop, would see everything backwards, and discover that all of her two-dimensional avian friends had their hearts beating on the wrong sides of their feathery chests (and they would see the same of her).

Anything to plant disturbing images in our heads, eh Trickster?

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Dischorran
Level: Smitemaster

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Trickster wrote:
Topologically speaking, a Möbius strip is a two-dimensional realm where travelling in one direction long enough brings you back to where you came from, but everything's reversed (there's no "top side" and "bottom side" to the strip--it's infinitely thin and you're embedded in it). So the two-dimensional chicken, upon returning to her coop, would see everything backwards, and discover that all of her two-dimensional avian friends had their hearts beating on the wrong sides of their feathery chests (and they would see the same of her).

If these are the talking two-dimensional chicken variety, they would disagree on which direction constitutes "left" vs. "right", as the physical change corresponds to a perceptual one as well.

This model can exist in higher dimensions, so it's possible that somewhere out there, if you travel far enough, you'd see the same effects in our Universe (if you could travel that far before the place you started is obliterated by the ravages of seemingly-accelerated time, which is unlikely).

This is indeed not a very good joke.

I'd post the one about the green skunk, but it really stinks.

Trickster
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 662
Registered: 07-03-2007
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Dischorran wrote:
This is indeed not a very good joke.

It was an excellent joke, but you missed the punchline.

I know roughly 540,000 jokes, most of them hilarious. Here's one that's at least reasonably funny.

Three mathematicians and three engineers are travelling by train to a conference. The mathematicians each purchase a ticket, and notice the group of engineers only purchases a single ticket.

"There's three of you and only one ticket: there's no way you can all ride the train," says one of the mathematicians. The engineers just coax the mathematicians to watch and learn.

Upon entering the train, the engineers enter one of the train's single-stall bathrooms together. Normally it would be embarrassing to find three people crammed in the same bathroom, but everyone else is busy putting luggage away. The ticket collector begins walking the aisles and taking people's tickets.

Then the ticket collector knocks on the bathroom door and says, "Tickets, please!" At this point, one of the engineers opens the door a crack and hands the collector the ticket, and the collector moves on to the next train car. The mathematicians nod approvingly and find this to be a very clever trick.

Several days later, the six are returning from the conference. The mathematicians decide to try the trick, and purchase a single ticket together. Imagine their surprise to see the engineers purchase no ticket at all!

"That's impossible," says one of the mathematicians. "We see how three can go with only one ticket, but there's no place for all three of you to hide on the train. You won't be able to ride with zero tickets." Again, the engineers reassure the mathematicians: watch and learn. They all board the train.



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[Last edited by Trickster at 03-01-2012 08:01 PM]

stigant
Level: Smitemaster

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Why did the chicken cross the Starship Enterprise?


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Samuel
Level: Delver

Rank Points: 69
Registered: 07-08-2007
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Trickster wrote:

Dischorran wrote:
This is indeed not a very good joke.

It was an excellent joke, but you missed the punchline.

I know roughly 540,000 jokes, most of them hilarious. Here's one that's at least reasonably funny.

Three mathematicians and three engineers are travelling by train to a conference. The mathematicians each purchase a ticket, and notice the group of engineers only purchases a single ticket.

"There's three of you and only one ticket: there's no way you can all ride the train," says one of the mathematicians. The engineers just coax the mathematicians to watch and learn.

Upon entering the train, the engineers enter one of the train's single-stall bathrooms together. Normally it would be embarrassing to find three people crammed in the same bathroom, but everyone else is busy putting luggage away. The ticket collector begins walking the aisles and taking people's tickets.

Then the ticket collector knocks on the bathroom door and says, "Tickets, please!" At this point, one of the engineers opens the door a crack and hands the collector the ticket, and the collector moves on to the next train car. The mathematicians nod approvingly and find this to be a very clever trick.

Several days later, the six are returning from the conference. The mathematicians decide to try the trick, and purchase a single ticket together. Imagine their surprise to see the engineers purchase no ticket at all!

"That's impossible," says one of the mathematicians. "We see how three can go with only one ticket, but there's no place for all three of you to hide on the train. You won't be able to ride with zero tickets." Again, the engineers reassure the mathematicians: watch and learn. They all board the train.

Click here to view the secret text

×The mathematicians naturally crowd into a single bathroom in preparation for the ticket collector.

After a minute, one of the engineers knocks on the door and says in a slightly altered voice, "Tickets, please!"

/

You will hate me for asking, but I don't get it?

____________________________
I believe in everything until it's
disproved. So I believe in fairies,
the myths, dragons. It all exists,
even if it's in your mind. Who's to
say that dreams and nightmares
aren't as real as the here and now?
John Lennon

Trickster
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 662
Registered: 07-03-2007
IP: Logged

Samuel wrote: You will hate me for asking, but I don't get it?

Your prediction is incorrect! I do not hate you.


Let me know if that's not clear!

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