×The Entrance: (2, 15) should say "Oh" instead of just the letter "O".

1W: (34, 17) should say "They are not your friends". (30, 19) should say "safe" instead of "save". (23, 19) should say "G's" instead of "Gs" *. Also, "well enough" is slightly awkward phrasing but understandable; I would just say "That's good" instead. (19, 12) should say "often" instead of "oftend". (1, 2) should say "G's" instead of "Gs". (5,6) is technically correct, but awkward phrasing; I would prefer to say "Strike" rather than "touch" and phrase it as "Strike the orb at your own risk" (no "ing" involved).

2W: (6, 8) should say "its" instead of "it's". This error appears a lot of other times; for future reference remember that possessive should be "its" with no apostrophe, any time you write "it's" you should read that as it is and see whether that makes sense.

3W: (16, 18) should be rephrased as "only when movement is blocked will the G head N again" (no comma). (4, 18) has no real mistakes but the phrasing's a little weird, I would say something like "If you want to study movement with and without brains in more depth, go play Advanced Concepts".

4W: (27, 5) I would prefer to say "You have solved..." or "You've solved..." but this isn't an absolutely necessary change.

1S4W: (32, 2) G's not Gs. (30, 2) feels a little strangely worded. Maybe something like "Think carefully about.."?

1N1W: (32, 29) should say "It is not important whether" instead of "if". (32, 21) its not it's (both times). Should also say "the gentryii to the southwest". (32, 14) the word "along" isn't needed here, but it's up to you if you prefer it to stay. (26, 1) its not it's. (5, 1) should say "Pinning can be done with". (7, 16) should have a colon instead of a period after "classic" or else remove the "-ing" from "pressing" in the second sentence.

2N1W: (16, 19) G's not Gs. (22, 19) should say "to" instead of "too" ("too" means "also"). (24, 19) at the end I think you mean "but that's it" or possibly "but that's all there is to it". (28, 19) I would replace the first "into" with just "in" and the second "into" with "inside of". (14, 2) I would maybe say "get" rather than "put".

1S: (19, 3) its not it's. (19, 8) maybe say "following rooms" rather than "next rooms". "next" would apply fine to a singular word (i.e. "the next room") but sounds awkward next to a plural. (18, 14) G's not Gs. (19, 17) "beteen" --> "between". I would also add the word "their" after this "between".

2S: (15, 1) slightly nitpicky, but a sentence after a colon ("how exactly..." should begin with a capital letter ("How exactly..."). (13, 1) "all of the scrolls", I would say. (12, 4) Remove the word "sequence" for better clarity. (13, 6) not a grammar mistake, but I would add "please strike the orb" to either this scroll or the previous one to make it clear what the player's supposed to do; I was briefly confused. (12, 26) "untill" --> "until".

3S: (18, 17) the comma after "obtained" is unnecessary. (14, 13) G's not Gs.

4S: (23, 1) "straigten" --> "straighten". This is also a run-on sentence, which can be fixed by replacing the first comma with a semicolon and removing the second one. (24, 4) its not it's. (23, 5) G's not Gs. (20, 3) "strengtening" --> "straightening". (20, 19) "straigtening" --> "straightening"; "truely" --> "truly". I think a period after "the final test" would work a little better also.

1S2W: "Eighth". I know the word looks like a monstrosity but this really is how it's spelled.

*--Okay, actually you can write "Gs", it is not grammatically wrong to do so. "G's" seems more correct to me personally, but you can choose whichever you like. It is better if you do the same thing throughout the entire hold: Either every instance should be "Gs" or every instance should be "G's". I wrote all of this according to my own preference so I don't have a record of all of the places you wrote "G's".

×MyScript Primer and Reference!

My First Hold, also the first published!
Persistence, a mini-hold about returning to rooms.
The Spacetime Kerfluffle, a mini-hold I made once.
Variations, a collab hold I'm managing.
Beethro's Awakening Preview, Zelda and DROD?!

Alphabet Stream info, about my stream thing I do sometimes.

×Skell's idea generator: http://forum.caravelgames.com/ideasGenerator/view
Challenges Scoreboard: http://forum.caravelgames.com/challenges.php
Level map viewer: http://forum.caravelgames.com/map.php
Tactical DROD game: http://forum.caravelgames.com/tsspreview.php
(Note: Requires Flash)
Room Element Search tool http://forum.caravelgames.com/roomsearch.php
(Search through all published holds for rooms with various elements.)
Room position Heat Map http://forum.caravelgames.com/heatmap.php
DROD has a wiki! http://drod.wikia.com/wiki/Deadly_Rooms_Of_Death_Wiki
Skell's super cool list of turn sequence stuff https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QS9Vk3xsd4jlGF23J8p7c2IM5cmhwmoe6eCEaaAn8jY/edit#heading=h.ocovx14zokm4

It's not listed in "help", but [attachment] will embed the whatever image is attached to a post.

×1N2W I liked this room quite a bit. It felt like it was just hard enough to be interesting.

1N1W Once I actually sat down and did it, this room felt doable. Not sure why I was so afraid of it the first time.

1S1W Is this room possible? This room seemed impossible, until I realized there was a platform...

2S1W Simple, but effective. The aumtlich part was interesting. However, there's a backtracking issue: If you go North, you can't get South again.

2W Informative, and chilling. But you can't backtrack through this room either, so there's not much point to the tunnel. Incidentally, you missed one way to kill gentryii: an explosion melting thin ice under one's head.

4W This wasn't as bad as it looked. I'm okay with it now. I'm having trouble getting to the secret, though, so I'm going to call it a night.

×Skell's idea generator: http://forum.caravelgames.com/ideasGenerator/view
Challenges Scoreboard: http://forum.caravelgames.com/challenges.php
Level map viewer: http://forum.caravelgames.com/map.php
Tactical DROD game: http://forum.caravelgames.com/tsspreview.php
(Note: Requires Flash)
Room Element Search tool http://forum.caravelgames.com/roomsearch.php
(Search through all published holds for rooms with various elements.)
Room position Heat Map http://forum.caravelgames.com/heatmap.php
DROD has a wiki! http://drod.wikia.com/wiki/Deadly_Rooms_Of_Death_Wiki
Skell's super cool list of turn sequence stuff https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QS9Vk3xsd4jlGF23J8p7c2IM5cmhwmoe6eCEaaAn8jY/edit#heading=h.ocovx14zokm4

It's not listed in "help", but [attachment] will embed the whatever image is attached to a post.

×

Insoluble wrote:
1EW: ...I can place a decoy on the plate at (5,1) when entering the room then exit to the north at that exit...

Well, I guess, it doesn't make much sense to want to skip the northern rooms, but still, I put in a force arrow to prevent this.

Insoluble wrote:
1N1EW: I feel like I was supposed to use the gentryii to hold down plates in the southwest bit but I ended up mostly ignoring it.

Fixed this. (?) I hope. Could you give it another look? Removed the mirror and now I guess there is no alternative. New upload in fipo.

Insoluble wrote:
2N1W: Looks like trapping the northeast gentryii is optional? I did it anyway. If this was supposed to be enforced you'd need to extend the yellow door at (14,1) to (14,2) or something like that.

Yes. This is optional mental exercise for bored players. Also, it helps you to prepare for the (also optional) clearing of the NW part of this room.

Insoluble wrote:
1N2W: Pretty fiddly. Well at least it's a secret room I suppose.

Not nearly as fiddly as you make it It's not secret and should be pretty doable I guess. Almost impossible to force yourself into a losing position here.

quote=Insoluble;424311]
1S2W: I feel like you could probably get the idea across with less than half as many aumtlich. Seems like there must be a way to require you to bring a mirror through the room without necessitating that much cleanup at the end.
I guess that should be possible, but still struggling with this. My idea was to force the player to put the mirror on the grassy spot and then hide behind the chain. Perhaps I'll think of something involving oremites or other weaponry trickery. Will have to think about it, because yes, it's not good the way it is now.
Think I found a fix. Could you check again?

Insoluble wrote:
Removing the green sister gate at (22,2) in 1S1W should fix the issue, though I'm not sure if there's a reason it needs to be there.

I put in a scroll explaining that the passage can be done with some nice gentryii manipulation moves to encourage the player. I'd rather keep the green gate, because going N->S here after clearing the room is a really nice little challenge by itself.

Insoluble wrote:
Next section seems to be chain straightening. I don't have the mental capacity to take that on right now, but will try to get back to it soon.

Mwuahahahaha!

No. It's not that bad actually. It's mostly explanations of the sit-back-and-wait type.