For RPGs I'd recommend the Baldur's Gate series, the Avernum series, the Icewind Dale series, the Geneforge series, KOTOR, the Ultima series, Mass Effect, the Deus Ex series and, of course, the Fallout series.
Of these, Avernum, Icewind Dale, Baldur's Gate and Ultima adhere most to the basic RPG formula, of the four, Baldur's Gate is the easiest to get into.
Mass Effect is an action RPG and plays quite a bit like a first person shooter, Geneforge is fairly typical in may ways, but the story progresses nonlinearly which may be a bit intimidating to a fledgling RPG gamer.
Fallout is a different breed, they both are somewhat short experiences (though 2 will likely take you about the time it takes to get through some of the others the first time through) and are made to be replayed with different starting stats. Due to the superb character creation system, this can make the game play in a variety of ways.
The Deus Ex series are essentially first person stealth shooters with strong RPG elements. The second introduced branching story paths, but significantly dumbed down the RPG aspects. They're both worth a look in my opinion.
For jRPGs, I recently reviewed
Chrono Cross though I'd highly recommend you play Chrono Trigger first (don't worry, it is as good or better than Cross). Along the line of Square RPGs I'd also recommend FFIV, Xenogears, FFVI and, if you're alright with the fact that it isn't a typical jRPG and is fairly complex, pick up the underappreciated Vagrant Story. People tend to like FFVII, but I didn't really see what was so special about it.
Vagrant Story plays differently than just about any other game out there (it bears some similarities to the N64 game "
Hybrid Heaven"
however). You control the main character as though you were in a platformer then when you draw your sword you can attack enemies by opening a sphere (pressing X) and choosing certain attacks. From there you can chain attacks which raises your RISK meter (lower hit%, take more damage, healing spells more effective, higher critical hit%) but does damage and can have other benefits according to what attack you use. A similar system is used for defensive abilities. It may also be worth noting that the structure is odd, mimicking that of an action game, levels are split up clearly by bosses.
A great, yet time consuming "
pure"
jRPG is the Shin Megami Tensei series. They all use fairly simple mechanics, but the battles rely on skill and trial and error and there is one aspect that can take up hours of your life if you let it. In the main series, your party is composed of a set amount of humans (the main character and any allies he acquired, there is only one ally in Nocturne, Dante from Devil May Cry) and the rest of the party is filled up by tamed demons. It's somewhat of a precursor to Pokemon, you have the option of talking to demons and, if they're in a good mood, they'll carry on the conversation. Depending on various factors (and many random rolls) they may ask to taste some of your energy, ask for certain items or money or ask you philosophical questions. In the best case scenario they'll join your party. From here you can fuse them with other tamed demons to make more powerful demons (though they cannot be a higher level than the main character). You seem to think grinding is boring, so this may not be a good choice, but the fact that the battles are actually
fun unlike most jRPGs may get you addicted.
sRPGs are a good idea if you dislike traditional battles, I'd specifically recommend Final Fantasy Tactics, Fire Emblem, Shining Force 1-3 and especially
the Disgaea series.
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Director of the Department of Orderly Disruptions