Ok, corrections for the speech. Mostly punctuation. I'm not being nit-picky, I'd just like this awesome hold to be nice and polished all round. Scrolls and that later.
Click here to view the secret text
×Desert: The Entrance
* Guard: {Y}eah... The stair{s are} over there.
* Guard: A pleasure! Goodbye{.}
Desert: 2E
* Beethro: Hey! {I}t's you again.
* Guard: What... how {did} you find me?
* Beethro: And why you didn't tell me there was another stair{case.}
The rebel nest: 2W
* Instructor: Are you already finished...{?} I...I mean uhh good day{,} sir{.} {hehe}.
* Instructor: Ohh {hehe} I thought you were... uhh Gorbo...
* Instructor: {H}e is one of my friends.
* Beethro: OK{.} Then who are you{,} and what are you doing here?
* Instructor: Ahh you must have taken the wrong stair{s}.
* Instructor: You know{,} a little part of our empire is controlled by some rebels.
* Custom: Hey{,} that's clever.
* Instructor: I know{,} but just shut up.
* Instructor: Umm{... A}s I was going to say.
* Beethro: And why did that guard say "{H}ey, that's clever"?
* Instructor: Uhh... {H}e doesn't even know what we're talking about.
* Beethro: OK{,} so what is this place anyway?
* Instructor: Oh{,} this is just a normal underground city.
* Beethro: Uhh{...} I didn't know there were any underground cities.
* Beethro: Ok{,} just so you know{,} I've fixed the rebels.
* Instructor: You've fixed ALL of the rebels{?}!
* Instructor: Oh, how great{.} {T}hanks... a lot.
* Instructor: Uhh... {G}oodbye to you then{.}
The rebel nest: 1N2W
* Guard: Hey{!} {Y}ou ain't allowed to be here!
The rebel nest: 2N2W
* Guard: Umm{...} uh... Guards{!} Guards{!} {C}lose the door... kill him!
Goblin chase: The Entrance
* Beethro: What{?} {Wasn't} this suposed to be the exit?
The civilisation: The Entrance
* Beethro: I'm almost beginning to think that that secret{a}ry lied to me.
The civilisation: 2N
* Negotiator: What I'm talking about is our safety system{,}
* Negotiator: and you {were} chosen by the "GREAT ONE" to be the {11th} to test it.
* Negotiator: {was} made to test
* Beethro: So EVERYTHING I've gotten {through} was just a stupid test!?
* Negotiator: She wasn't actually supposed {to} be there.
* Beethro: So what{'}s happening now...{?} {M}ay {I} leave?
* Negotiator: NO... you know to{o} much... you must stay here.
The civilisation: 5N
* Citizen 1: What...{?} {A}re... are you Beethro Budkin?
* Beethro: Nooo{,} I...
* Citizen 1: Take it easy{.} I won't tell the guards.
* Beethro: OK{,} I am Beethro
* Beethro: {A}nd why do you have to be so secure from abovegrounders?
* Citizen 1: and if we don't do as the leader tells us{,} we get killed.
* Citizen 1: I don't know{,} but I think the entrance to his
* Citizen 1: secret tunnel is just west {of} here.
* Citizen 1: If you are going to try to stop him{,}
* Citizen 1: be careful{,} and don't let any guards se{e} you.
* Beethro: I think I will try{.}
* Beethro: {I}t doesn't look like I have so much of a choice either.
* Citizen 1: Then good luck{,} Beethro.
* Citizen 1: Goodbye{,} Beethro{.}
The civilisation: 5N1W
* Slayer: It's Beethro{!} {K}ill him{!}
The civilisation: 5N4W
* Slayer: Hey{,} who made that wall!?
* Slayer: Now it's over{,} Beethro.
* Beethro: Hey{,} these walls don't seem so steady either!
* Slayer: No{,} stop... uhh come back!
The civilisation: 5N1E
* Slayer: {Y}ou fo{o}l. Ha,ha,ha
The tunnel: The Entrance
571: (9,8) * Beethro: O{h, no}! I hate cold places!
The deeper tunnel : 5N1W
* Beethro: Hey{,} there's {a} stair{case} over there...
* Beethro: Mayb{e} there's {another} way to get to this room{.}
The royal chamber: 1N
* Custom: {b}ut now it's... over. Muahahaha Muahahahahahaha
* Custom: I am here{,} you idiot!....... Muahaha... haha
* Custom: ... Uhh... I uhh... ... I don't really... {r}emember...
* Custom: Ahh{,} I can see you're anxious to meet my deadly monsters.
* Custom: Behold My deadly trained roach{.}
* Custom: Ahh{,} the roach didn't stop you{.} haha.
* Custom: Uh... you could maybe stop my goblin{,}
* Custom: {b}ut I'm still behind a black wall
A couple of other things:
-Some descriptions are still the default "
entrance x"
etc.
-Hold/level Names: The convention is to make the first letter in each word a capital, and it does somehow look better. The
Underground
Civilisation, The
Deeper
Tunnel etc.
EDIT: Scrolls and descriptions:
Click here to view the secret text
×Scrolls: Only two typos. Otherwise there's the capitalisation thing of level names throughout. There's also a reference to "The tunnel 2".
The Deeper Tunnel:6N1W: non{-}required non{-}secret
The Royal Chamber:2N: explosiv{e}s
Hold description: sud{d}enly we{i}rd {another}
You can get that "ö" in "Björling" into DROD by copy/pasting from a text editor.
Ending:
the help {of} some guards {from} the city {of} Estenguard
dun{g}eon
real{l}y
[Last edited by michthro at 09-15-2006 11:07 AM]