Monkey
Level: Master Delver

Rank Points: 190
Registered: 03-21-2006
IP: Logged

Granted, but they happen at 4,000,000 times the magnitude you wanted, so, well, have fun getting tortured for eternity!

I wish I were really sweet(oh, I can picture this one).

____________________________
lurking

zonhin
Level: Delver

Rank Points: 99
Registered: 10-18-2005
IP: Logged

The chocolate that covers you solidifies. Leaving you unable to move. You die several days later.

Sorry.

I wish for moar animes.

____________________________
I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye

NiroZ
Level: Smitemaster
Rank Points: 1302
Registered: 02-12-2006
IP: Logged

Granted, but they are all poorly animated, with really bad voices which aren't even properly timed. Not to mention there;s no music, and there's not english translation whatsoever.

I wish that zonhin wouldn't be so morbid when granting his wishes (I mean, how come everyone dies several days later?)

zonhin
Level: Delver

Rank Points: 99
Registered: 10-18-2005
IP: Logged

Granted. Now I can't think up an interesting response. You die several days later.

I wish that the future would happen right now so we can have flying cars and robots and spaceships and mechs and genetic engineering and cyborgs and soylent green and mega corporations and plant xylon 5's and aliens and utopian societies and dystopian societies and nanobots and supercomputers an inch wide and HAL and a one-world government and nukes and ion cannons and lasers and omicron persai 8 and 500 ton robots and laser eyes and all of that stuff.

____________________________
I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye

---

[Last edited by zonhin at 06-02-2007 04:00 AM]

Monkey
Level: Master Delver

Rank Points: 190
Registered: 03-21-2006
IP: Logged

Granted, but you get stuck in a log cabin with no futeristic stuff. Everybody taunts you for being so un-technoligic.You die several days later.
Edit: I wish I could cram 5 wishes into 1 in my next wish.

____________________________
lurking

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[Last edited by Monkey at 06-02-2007 04:27 AM]

Sillyman
Level: Smiter

Rank Points: 339
Registered: 09-08-2006
IP: Logged

Okay, go for it. All the better to torture you with...

I wish that my brain was like a computer. That runs on Linux. And has good hardware.

____________________________
Who, me?
FNORD

zonhin
Level: Delver

Rank Points: 99
Registered: 10-18-2005
IP: Logged

Granted. You now have the personality of a lobotomy patient.

I wish for a power level of OVER 9000!

____________________________
I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye

silver
Level: Smitemaster
Rank Points: 915
Registered: 01-18-2005
IP: Logged

well over 9000 amps of power course through your body, short-circuiting your bioelectrics just before all your cells burn up. the black smoke doesn't even smell good.

I wish the posters would make harder wishes to corrupt



____________________________

zonhin
Level: Delver

Rank Points: 99
Registered: 10-18-2005
IP: Logged

Granted.

I wish that this wish can't be corrupted.

____________________________
I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye

Monkey
Level: Master Delver

Rank Points: 190
Registered: 03-21-2006
IP: Logged

Granted. I change it from a .wish* file to an .rtf file. I corrupt it there by making it "I wish zonhin exploded."
*Made up for the occasion.
I wish that I could get 1,000,000,000 dollars without it getting into my body in any way possible.


____________________________
lurking

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[Last edited by Monkey at 06-06-2007 01:14 AM]

zonhin
Level: Delver

Rank Points: 99
Registered: 10-18-2005
IP: Logged

Bill Gates called. He wants his billion back.

I wish for all memes ever created will all die within the week.

____________________________
I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye

Sillyman
Level: Smiter

Rank Points: 339
Registered: 09-08-2006
IP: Logged

I call you a meme now. Granted. You die within the next week.

I wish for a fishy fish.

____________________________
Who, me?
FNORD

zonhin
Level: Delver

Rank Points: 99
Registered: 10-18-2005
IP: Logged

The fishy fish is very fishy. It turns out he's a covert agent. He sees you downloading illegal files and you go to jail.

EPIC FAIL!

I wish for an illegal file.

____________________________
I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye

Monkey
Level: Master Delver

Rank Points: 190
Registered: 03-21-2006
IP: Logged

Granted. I give it to you, but in a minute, I yell everywhere, "ZONHIN'S GOT AN ILLEGAL FILE!" You get arrested. You try to convince the police that I gave it to you but they say, "A monkey, eh? I don't think a monkey would've given you an illegal file." I go away, free as a bird.

I wish I had a drivers license.

____________________________
lurking

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[Last edited by Monkey at 06-06-2007 01:11 AM]

Bunches
Level: Master Delver

Rank Points: 192
Registered: 03-17-2006
IP: Logged

Monkey wrote:
Granted. I give it to you, but in a minute, I yell everywhere, "ZONHIN'S GOT AN ILLEGAL FILE!" You get arrested. You try to convince the police that I gave it to you but they say, "A monkey, eh? I don't think a monkey would've given you an illegal file." I go away, free as a bird.

I wish I had a drivers license.

Granted, but then you crash into a tree, it falls down on a very important person, and people start to gather around your dead body in the beginnings of the mob that was so large, it killed everybody.

I wish that I liked to do math, but don't like it so much that I lock myself up in my room, doing evilishly hard math.

zonhin
Level: Delver

Rank Points: 99
Registered: 10-18-2005
IP: Logged

You start to like math. You begin to do devilishly hard equations outside of your room. You stop paying attention to things around you. Your boss\teacher\parents tell you something very important during one of the equations you don't listen and get in a lot of trouble with them.

I wish I could get farther then dungeon level 5 in NetHack.

____________________________
I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye

NiroZ
Level: Smitemaster
Rank Points: 1302
Registered: 02-12-2006
IP: Logged

Sillyman wrote:
I call you a meme now. Granted. You die within the next week several days later.

Fixed

@zonhin
You do, but then the game crashes and you loose all your progress.

I wish for a meta-wish.

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[Last edited by NiroZ at 06-06-2007 02:10 AM]

zonhin
Level: Delver

Rank Points: 99
Registered: 10-18-2005
IP: Logged

File: imameme.png (193.7 KB)
Downloaded 161 times.
License: Public Domain

You get a wish about a wish. You become bored because I can't think up an interesting response.

I wish this was funny.




____________________________
I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye

---

[Last edited by zonhin at 06-06-2007 02:36 AM]

Sillyman
Level: Smiter

Rank Points: 339
Registered: 09-08-2006
IP: Logged

It is. In fact, it's so funny, you die laughing.

I wish... clank.

____________________________
Who, me?
FNORD

silver
Level: Smitemaster
Rank Points: 915
Registered: 01-18-2005
IP: Logged

ROBOWISH engaged: "thank you. you wish for <clank> is granted. Now you <click whirrrrrr>."

Unfortunately, I don't have a Robospeak to English dictionary, so I'm not sure what you wished for, or what exactly happened, except that it's probably not what you expected and very likely fatal.

also:

Sillyman wrote:
Granted. It was funny, about 150 years ago.
Unfortunately, it's no longer funny. In fact, it's offensive to the Historical Society of Illinois. You are surprised to learn just how offended they are - I mean, who knew they worshiped Lincoln that obsessively. You are further surprised by how well armed they are. And how well versed in torture techniques, as they demonstrate upon you, slowly. And painfully. Several days later, you die from the pain.

fixed.

I wish more people understood how to write wishes with the right verb mood.


____________________________

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[Last edited by silver at 06-06-2007 03:15 AM]

Sillyman
Level: Smiter

Rank Points: 339
Registered: 09-08-2006
IP: Logged

Granted. Now somebody's come up with an incorruptible wish.

I wish for everything to exist the way it was immediately before this wish was granted, and to continue on normally.

____________________________
Who, me?
FNORD

zonhin
Level: Delver

Rank Points: 99
Registered: 10-18-2005
IP: Logged

The stress caused by your wish ends the universe.

I wish for world peace.

____________________________
I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye

Monkey
Level: Master Delver

Rank Points: 190
Registered: 03-21-2006
IP: Logged

The world gets split into eighths, with you on 1 of the places that the world was cut at.
Oh, wait. You said world peace, right?

I wish = & = .

____________________________
lurking

---

[Last edited by Monkey at 06-06-2007 09:51 PM]

zonhin
Level: Delver

Rank Points: 99
Registered: 10-18-2005
IP: Logged

Granted. Now anybody who reads that hates you.

I wish that I would gain the ability to live without dying or aging until I choose to die.

____________________________
I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye

Monkey
Level: Master Delver

Rank Points: 190
Registered: 03-21-2006
IP: Logged

Granted, but in return, I make your choices. I then choose for you to die.

I wish I had every type of game system in the world, without it getting into my body.

____________________________
lurking

zonhin
Level: Delver

Rank Points: 99
Registered: 10-18-2005
IP: Logged

The games crush you.

I wish for a pet slayer.

____________________________
I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye

Ravon
Level: Master Delver

Rank Points: 220
Registered: 02-19-2004
IP: Logged

The slayer and your cat don't get along well at all. The slayer spends all day chasing after the cat mumbling death threats under it's breath. Your cat is so scared that it begins to spend it's entire day in your attic, where the slayer can't get to. The cat stops eating, and eventually dies.

The slayer, now without a purpose, turns to religion. It decides to convert all of your friends. And by convert, I mean, with a hook. Your friends all abandon you.

I wish for a dollar bill.

Monkey
Level: Master Delver

Rank Points: 190
Registered: 03-21-2006
IP: Logged

Granted, but it's counterfeit, so when you try to use it, you get arrested.

I wish for a real, non-counterfeit credit card with $5000 on it.

____________________________
lurking

zonhin
Level: Delver

Rank Points: 99
Registered: 10-18-2005
IP: Logged

Turns out the dollar bill has free will and you get arrested for abusing it.

I wish for TWO dollars. And I treat them nicely.

____________________________
I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye

Monkey
Level: Master Delver

Rank Points: 190
Registered: 03-21-2006
IP: Logged

zonhin wrote: Turns out the dollar bill has free will and you get arrested for abusing it.

I wish for TWO dollar bills. And I treat them nicely.

Post collision!
Granted, but the dollar bills are also counterfeit, and you get sued for using them.

I wish for 470 more rank points(mod points included).

____________________________
lurking