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Caravel Forum : DROD Boards : Architecture : The Adventure of John (A story I made in no idea situation)
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File: The Adventure Of John.hold (5.7 KB)
Downloaded 13 times.
License: Public Domain
icon The Adventure of John (+1)  
Here the hold...

Who can edit? : Anyone
Rooms : < 10 (that's very short)
Hold Aim : For new DRODers

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07-21-2017 at 03:10 PM
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icon Re: The Adventure of John (0)  
No comment?

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07-31-2017 at 08:13 AM
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Insoluble
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icon Re: The Adventure of John (0)  
Sorry it took a while to comment! It's a nice short hold. Not difficult, but I like the minimap are a lot! Here are some suggestions:

1) I was not sure which way to go at first since most of the rooms have borders that look like they could lead to other rooms. After a while I caught on that I always had to move left, but it took me a while to realize this and I spent a lot of time trying to go other ways. You could maybe line the boarders that don't connect to other rooms with force arrows. Force arrows don't show up on the mini-map so it wouldn't ruin the art. Alternatively you could put a scroll in the first room telling players to go down the stairs then keep going right (or east) each time.

2) Similar to the first point, many rooms that are next to each other don't have room boundaries that line up. For example, if I exit Mystery Island: The Entrance going east on a high enough row I end up trapped in a red door in Mystery Island: 1E. This is not a big deal because I can always go back the way I came, but it would be nice if there was a way to block me from entering the room on top of a door. Like with point #1, you could do this with force arrows and it wouldn't ruin the art since force arrows don't show up in the minimap.

3) The roach queen that starts at (2,15) in Mystery Island: The Entrance tends to go up to the northwest corner where she won't spawn any babies. This would usually not be a big deal, but the north west corner of the room (tile (0,0)) is where the turn counter is. The turn counter shows up when you push F7, and many players will always have it on to help them optimize rooms. Having things on tile (0,0) can be annoying for these players since they will be difficult to see. For instance, I exited the room before it was clear because I didn't see this roach queen at all. It was hidden by the turn counter. Maybe move this queen somewhere else where she won't end up on tile (0,0)

4) Some rooms have no check points. Even though the hold is not too difficult, it is good to put at least one in each room with monsters. In the Mystery Island level the following rooms have no checkpoints: The Entrance, 3E, 4E, 5E, 6R.

5) There is some grammar that you might want to fix.
Mystery Island: The Entrance
"After that, the ship filled with water and sunk leaving John stranded on Mystery Island..."
"John woke up."
"Slowly he stood up with his sword."
"He realized that it would be night soon, so he found a safe place to sleep."


1E
"John walked around the island to find a safe place to sleep."
"Of course, he found resources."


2E
"Night had fallen. John camped in a shelter of his own making."
If you don't like that one you could also go with,
"Night had fallen. John camped in a shelter he had made."

3E
"The next day, John was thirsty."
"He found the nearest water, drinking it without a second thought."
"Luckily, the water wasn't poisonous."


5E
"He found it in the forest..."

6E
"John found an evil summoner and battled him."
Or you could go with,
"John found an evil summoner and waged battle with him."

7E
"After beating the evil summoner, John woke up from his bed..."

I have no idea why anyone would give you a -1 for posting a new hold. It should be the opposite! It looks like this has been fixed.

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[Last edited by Insoluble at 08-04-2017 04:23 PM]
08-04-2017 at 06:01 AM
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Scattercatt
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icon Re: The Adventure of John (0)  
I like this hold. I gotta say, the pixel art is pretty good! I also felt that most of the rooms were pretty manageable. However, some of them (5E and 6E in particular) just felt too annoying.

Also, I have to agree with the third thing Insoluble said above. The roach queen is hard to see and I ended up missing it, forcing me to backtrack just to clear the level.

[Last edited by Scattercatt at 08-13-2017 02:06 AM]
08-13-2017 at 02:01 AM
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