Garwarth
Level: Delver
Rank Points: 40
Registered: 11-16-2012
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Well as the title says I made a forum for nothing but depressing fun facts. They don't even have to be true!
I'll start.

Did you know that every time you breath, that somebody dies within the next 3 seconds?

How about that every time you get your paycheck somebody will declare bankruptcy within the next day.

I made these during an argument and felt that I should share them with the world. I kind of want to see what people come up with.

____________________________
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Banjooie
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1645
Registered: 12-12-2004
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Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't bury the lead here. Tell me about this argument where you invented these facts.

ErikH2000
Level: Legendary Smitemaster

Rank Points: 2794
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I like the concept actually. Making up depressing things that aren't true.

There's one I always like to pull out when somebody is feeling smug about some small thing. Whatever they are proud of, I just say "You know, Hitler also [did/liked/whatever]". It doesn't matter what the thing is or if it's true.

PERSON: Oh, I love to read books. I read a different book every week.
ME: Interesting. You know, Hitler also read one book every week.

PERSON: I'm a big swimmer. I like swimming in cold lakes.
ME: You know, Adolf Hitler also enjoyed swimming in cold lakes.

PERSON: I got all the achievements in Plants versus Zombies.
ME: That's great. Hitler also got all the achievements in Plants vs Zombies.

-Erik

____________________________
The Godkiller - Chapter 1 available now on Steam. It's a DROD-like puzzle adventure game.
dev journals | twitch stream | youtube archive (NSFW)

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[Last edited by ErikH2000 at 04-17-2014 07:35 AM]

ErikH2000
Level: Legendary Smitemaster

Rank Points: 2794
Registered: 02-04-2003
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Whenever you throw up, you are actually losing pieces of your internal organs. And they won't grow back. They're just gone forever.


Come on, everybody! This is an awesome topic idea. I love it!

-Erik

____________________________
The Godkiller - Chapter 1 available now on Steam. It's a DROD-like puzzle adventure game.
dev journals | twitch stream | youtube archive (NSFW)

ErikH2000
Level: Legendary Smitemaster

Rank Points: 2794
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You can smile a lot if you want, but I should warn you... everybody gets just ten thousand smiles in their lifetime. And if you use them all up too quick, there won't be any more left for you, and you'll just walk around frowny-faced even when you feel happy inside.

-Erik

____________________________
The Godkiller - Chapter 1 available now on Steam. It's a DROD-like puzzle adventure game.
dev journals | twitch stream | youtube archive (NSFW)

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[Last edited by ErikH2000 at 04-17-2014 07:43 AM]

Jatopian
Level: Smitemaster
Rank Points: 1842
Registered: 07-31-2005
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Don't drink too much distilled/bottled water, or it'll kill you slowly. You see, water that's too pure makes your cells burst via reverse osmosis.

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skell
Level: Legendary Smitemaster

Rank Points: 3734
Registered: 12-28-2004
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Each time you stand up or sit down, your joints deteriorate a little and this damage cannot be reversed, not even surgically, so it's better for you to sit down for the 8 or more hours straight, than to take breaks during work. Not to mention any kind of exercise, it all kills you slowly.

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Blondbeard
Level: Smitemaster

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skell wrote:
Each time you stand up or sit down, your joints deteriorate a little and this damage cannot be reversed, not even surgically, so it's better for you to sit down for the 8 or more hours straight, than to take breaks during work. Not to mention any kind of exercise, it all kills you slowly.

That's not depressing. It validates how I have lived my life!

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[Last edited by Blondbeard at 04-17-2014 11:49 AM]

Garwarth
Level: Delver
Rank Points: 40
Registered: 11-16-2012
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Blondbeard wrote:

That's not depressing. It validates how I have lived my life!

You know hitler lived a life too.

And it wasn't so much an argument as much as somebody asking me a question somewhere along the lines of What was mankind's most deadly invention and I answered "Babies. Due to their 100% mortality rate."

____________________________
Slow and steady

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[Last edited by Garwarth at 04-17-2014 07:06 PM]

ErikH2000
Level: Legendary Smitemaster

Rank Points: 2794
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In the poor country of Tovslakia, children build their own coffins at the age of ten as a coming of age ritual. This process gains them a stoic resolve to the high likelihood they will die before they outgrow their coffins.

-Erik

____________________________
The Godkiller - Chapter 1 available now on Steam. It's a DROD-like puzzle adventure game.
dev journals | twitch stream | youtube archive (NSFW)

skell
Level: Legendary Smitemaster

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ErikH2000 wrote:
In the poor country of Tovslakia, children build their own coffins at the age of ten as a coming of age ritual. This process gains them a stoic resolve to the high likelihood they will die before they outgrow their coffins.

It was so dark I am not sure if I should upvote or downvote you.

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ErikH2000
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skell wrote:
It was so dark I am not sure if I should upvote or downvote you.

I know, it's dark. But it's the truth! A lot of people don't want to hear about it, but I have to tell them anyhow.

____________________________
The Godkiller - Chapter 1 available now on Steam. It's a DROD-like puzzle adventure game.
dev journals | twitch stream | youtube archive (NSFW)

stigant
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1182
Registered: 08-19-2004
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you'll just walk around frowny-faced even when you feel happy inside.

Should I worry about not being able to smile if I still feel happy inside?

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ErikH2000
Level: Legendary Smitemaster

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stigant wrote:

you'll just walk around frowny-faced even when you feel happy inside.

Should I worry about not being able to smile if I still feel happy inside?

That happiness is only theoretical. People's reactions to your frowning will quell any happiness you may feel. You'll essentially feel miserable half the time and dully apathetic the other half.

____________________________
The Godkiller - Chapter 1 available now on Steam. It's a DROD-like puzzle adventure game.
dev journals | twitch stream | youtube archive (NSFW)

azb
Level: Smiter
Rank Points: 460
Registered: 03-08-2014
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Did you know that about 1 million people die each year?

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Schik
Level: Legendary Smitemaster

Rank Points: 5383
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There are more Juggalos than polar bears in the world.

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Someone Else
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azb wrote:
Did you know that about 1 million people die each year?

I think that's a really low estimate - if there are 7 billion people, for a stable population with an average life expectancy of 70 years, 100 million people have to die each year.

ErikH2000
Level: Legendary Smitemaster

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Someone Else wrote:

azb wrote:
Did you know that about 1 million people die each year?

I think that's a really low estimate - if there are 7 billion people, for a stable population with an average life expectancy of 70 years, 100 million people have to die each year.

Did you know that about 1 million people die each year right before they discover the cure for cancer?

____________________________
The Godkiller - Chapter 1 available now on Steam. It's a DROD-like puzzle adventure game.
dev journals | twitch stream | youtube archive (NSFW)

stigant
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1182
Registered: 08-19-2004
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Did you know that about 1 million people die each year right before they discover the cure for cancer?

That fills me with optimism that someone will eventually beat the odds and discover the cure before dying... unless the knowledge of the cure for cancer is actually what kills these people.

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ErikH2000
Level: Legendary Smitemaster

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stigant wrote:

Did you know that about 1 million people die each year right before they discover the cure for cancer?

That fills me with optimism that someone will eventually beat the odds and discover the cure before dying... unless the knowledge of the cure for cancer is actually what kills these people.

Yes, it is. I was reluctant to mention that part, because it was very depressing.

____________________________
The Godkiller - Chapter 1 available now on Steam. It's a DROD-like puzzle adventure game.
dev journals | twitch stream | youtube archive (NSFW)

azb
Level: Smiter
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Registered: 03-08-2014
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Did you know Steve Jobs died of cancer?

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ErikH2000
Level: Legendary Smitemaster

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azb wrote:
Did you know Steve Jobs died of cancer?

Yeah, but now you're putting TRUE depressing facts here, which goes against the spirit of the topic and good taste.

You should make up a fact that is more ridiculously depressing, but not actually true.

-Erik

____________________________
The Godkiller - Chapter 1 available now on Steam. It's a DROD-like puzzle adventure game.
dev journals | twitch stream | youtube archive (NSFW)

Red-XIII
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 623
Registered: 08-05-2012
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Did you know that hundreds of people became blind after watching too much TSS' bar?

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There's just this one, just this rock.
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Garwarth
Level: Delver
Rank Points: 40
Registered: 11-16-2012
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Did you know that 99.999% of the world has not even heard of DROD?

Woah. I just depressed myself.

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azb
Level: Smiter
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Did you know? Permanent blindness occurs when playing DROD for ten hours with no breaks.

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Jatopian
Level: Smitemaster
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azb wrote:
Did you know? Permanent blindness occurs when playing DROD for ten hours with no breaks.

Come now. Way too many people here can attest that this is false. At least attempt plausibility.

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skell
Level: Legendary Smitemaster

Rank Points: 3734
Registered: 12-28-2004
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Did you know that the cases of white iPhone and iPad are made from minced bones of the Chinese workers who die assembling their hardware?

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ErikH2000
Level: Legendary Smitemaster

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Garwarth wrote:
Did you know that 99.999% of the world has not even heard of DROD?

Woah. I just depressed myself.

Add some more nines, but yes, I used to get depressed thinking about that all the time. For realsies.



____________________________
The Godkiller - Chapter 1 available now on Steam. It's a DROD-like puzzle adventure game.
dev journals | twitch stream | youtube archive (NSFW)

stigant
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1182
Registered: 08-19-2004
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Did you know that the cases of white iPhone and iPad are made from minced bones of the Chinese workers who die assembling their hardware?

My Macbook is haunted by the ghost of a Foxconn worker that exploded when he took a drag on a cigarette.

I hate to be a scold, but I think we may be veering dangerously close to violating the Hittite rule (or some sort of equivalent). Try not to have fun at the expense of actual people.



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mrimer
Level: Legendary Smitemaster

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Eating and drinking are bad and addictive habits.

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Gandalf the Grey. That was my name.
I am Gandalf the White.
And I come back to you now at the turn of the tide.