ellwilll
Level: Roachling
Rank Points: 11
Registered: 10-14-2008
IP: Logged

File: desert and temples.hold (6.7 KB)
Downloaded 70 times.
License: Public Domain

................
BETA 1
3 levels
17 rooms
...............

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Kwerulous
Level: Smiter
Rank Points: 340
Registered: 05-15-2008
IP: Logged

OK, here's my comments:

desert
There's nothing wrong with having a level like this, but the least you could do is make it look nicer. Add some obstacles and weather/lighting effects, and maybe add some more rooms.

I think there might be a problem with the speech too. In the exit room "nobody" speaks when (I guess) it should be Beethro. This is actually a problem throughout, unless it's intentional.

tombs
I don't particularly like the random lights in the entrance room

Once South - not keen on the random scripting at the beginning part (first time through)

e-stern sewers
Twice East - Quite a good little puzzle, actually! I'm not saying it was at all hard, but still it's quite nice.

Twice North, Once East - Yes, go back to the editor screen, click on the room (make sure it is highlighted orange) and then hit delete on you keyboard - DON'T press the delete button on the editor page because you'll delete the whole level! I've done that so many times...

Overall
A lot of spelling and grammar mistakes - you'll need to get someone to change that for you.

A lot of the rooms seemed a bit filler-ish, you might want to improve them before starting more rooms.

And sorry if any of that sounded harsh...

ellwilll
Level: Roachling
Rank Points: 11
Registered: 10-14-2008
IP: Logged

thank you! i really need critisism and comments as im very new to making holds... thanks for telling me about the speech and grammar problem, much appreciated.
thanks for telling me how to delete rooms too! very helpful.

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mxvladi
Level: Smitemaster
Rank Points: 2506
Registered: 02-11-2008
IP: Logged

e-stern sewers

There's a problem with 2E-1E passage. I go to the north-eastern rooms without conquering 1E. Then I go to 2E(there's a force arrow there and I can't return the way I came). But when I'm trying to go back through 1E, I... I can't do it...

Anyways, this is a little better than your first hold. Some easy but not too tedious puzzles are good. Keep trying to build something and keep playing other users' holds(remember though: if you don't want to break your keyboard, don't play larrymurk's or Rheb's holds ) and you'll be a good architect soon.

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[Last edited by mxvladi at 11-03-2008 08:40 PM : mistake in post]

ellwilll
Level: Roachling
Rank Points: 11
Registered: 10-14-2008
IP: Logged

when i try and remove my hold and change it for the more recent version i just get a blank screen

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zwetschenwasser
Level: Master Delver

Rank Points: 200
Registered: 05-22-2007
IP: Logged

Me too.

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Currently working on GaTEB and KDD (never finished the silly thing).

ellwilll
Level: Roachling
Rank Points: 11
Registered: 10-14-2008
IP: Logged

File: desert and temples.hold (6.7 KB)
Downloaded 53 times.
License: Public Domain

update!
40+ rooms
5 levels



____________________________
KDD- completed demo
TCB-
JTRH-