Oneiromancer wrote:
That is totally not me. When I am bored at a party (which is most parties I have been to) I leave pretty damn fast. But I know I am not an average person.
Well, it depends a lot on the style of the party and what your ties are to the host. There's parties that are created just by calling up some buddies in the afternoon to come over for beers. There's parties where invitations are sent out, food is prepared, ladies jump out of cakes...
If I go to some trouble to host a party, I feel like a big lame-o loser if everybody decides to take off early. On the flipside, if you go someplace and it sucks, but you have some empathy for the host, you'll bide your time and wait for a graceful escape. Whoever leaves first kind of signals that the moment to go has arrived, or at least that if you leave after him, you won't be the worst guest. Also, if a party has more than say... 30 people, then this whole effect doesn't really come into play. People slip out unnoticed, and without guilt, because plenty of other folks are still around to keep the party alive.
Brittany and I had an "
Amsterdam"
-themed party earlier this year. The dilemma is that when you try to do more things to make the party cool, it puts more pressure on that the party should be a success. You don't want to be the fool that ordered five kegs and five people showed up--it's sad and embarrasing. So people came with one foot out the door, saying stuff like "
Oh, I'm just dropping by for a bit. Feeling tired and I got to get up early."
I mean they made pre-excuses as soon as they arrived, the bastards! But they ended up staying, so I know they were just hedging. There were a few points where that group decision thing Shirky is talking about almost happened. I think we stopped it by launching into party events ("
Pin the Euro on the hooker"
) when people started clearing their throats and looking at their watches. Well, it wasn't quite that desperate, and after we got past a couple lulls, the party carried itself, nobody left early, and I didn't feel like a big lame-o loser.
-Erik
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