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Anyone who visited the front page after April 1st hit the server saw this:

Transcript:

FROM: The 1st Forum Conqueror

TO: The newly established Empire outpost

To spread the glory of The Empire, may 1st Watcher look at our work proudly, we have conquered your forum, overthrew the previous dictators and to ensure a smooth transition to your new roles, a set of rules has been established:

Every single citizen has been given a job which best matches their skills after a careful evaluation of their abilities. Disagreeing with the 278th Job Giver decisions is punishable by being fed to Gentryii.
Every single citizen is forbidden from talking, writing, showing, thinking, projecting, insinuating, suggesting or doing any other activity that could hint about their previous identity. Those do not exist. Doing any of those things is punishabe by being fed to Gentryii.
Every single citizen's access to identification lists and data reports has been severely reduced. Using any of the tools without proper permissions is punishable by being fed to Gentryii.

As you can see usernames were changed. Also some site features were changed/disabled:
- All signatures were hidden
- All avatars were hidden
- All profile links were hidden or broken
- Searching for users posts was disabled and presented this message: Access limited to 1st Head Counter.
- Using Author name in search ignored that condition and presented this message: We are sorry to say that the CITIZEN-JOB part of your CN-AI-HAZ-RSLT-400 has been lost, and as such the report may be inaccurate.
- Trying to send a PM was blocked and presented this message: Citizens of the empire have no need for private correspondence.
- Displaying an invalid profile (eg. by clicking on anyone's username) displayed user status to be A citizen of The Empire.
- The chat also displayed the new job titles

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Some people got dedicated usernames. If I could come up with a funny nickname, I used it. If I couldn't I left it for the automatic generator. So it's not about making some people more important (except 1st who are all devs), but about my imagination and time being very limited.
Here are the mappings and explanations:
- 'Schik' => '1st Monkey', because his avatar is a monkey
- 'skell' => '1st Flasher', because I work with flash and the double entendre
- 'mrimer' => '1st Wizard', because his avatar is Gandalf
- 'TFMurphy' => '1st Symbol Arranger', because he's a programmer from the dev team, and programmers basically arrange symbols!
- 'trick' => '1st Penguin Expert', because we need someone to make Linux builds!
- 'ErikH2000' => '1st Watcher', because both Erik and 1st Watcher are the progenitors
- 'ThemsAllTook' => '621st Picture Gluer', because he makes LPs, and LPs are videos, and videos are basically pictures glued together, geez
- 'Pearls' => '303rd Squirrel Imitator', because I often joked that in his LPs he runs around like a drunken squirrel
- 'Banjooie' => '877th Neighborhood Troll', because this
- 'Larrymurk' => '753rd Minimalist', because we recently talked about how many of his holds have very minimal puzzle and aesthetics (not in a bad way!)
- 'Nuntar' => '717th Micromanager', because he manages a lot of stuff, especially Entry Point, but Empire actually micromanages everything
- 'Someone Else' => 'Xth Doppelganger', because he's someone else, doh. Also the number was random each time it appeared!
- 'Dragon Fogel' => '470th Serpent Naysayer', because he prefers to be called Fogel instead of Dragon, so he says no to dragons, and since dragons are basically serpents...
- 'Elfstone' => '101st Caber Tosser', because I often joke about her being a Scot (don't worry Elf, I am just a meanie)
- 'mxvladi' => '256th Automated Solver', because we often joke about his ability to get 1st places

As for random job titles these were the available titles for the server to chose from:
- Firetrap Maker - this one randomly displays as Firetrap or Fire Trap as a reference to this
- Chair Nailer
- Spoostlefish Calmer
- Goblin Herder
- Orb Tuner
- Adder Fodder
- Greckle Counter
- Roach Queen Midwife
- Raft Complaint Clerk
- Perfectionism Adept
- Pit Painter
- Bomb Polisher
- Trapdoor Replacer

As for how were the names generated? An MD5 hash of your username was generated, which was then converted to a number which was then fed as a seed to a PRNG which then chose the number and the job in a deterministic way.

Please keep in mind that our intention was not to offend anyone. I am terribly sorry if anyone felt bad with his newly appointed job, but all I can do is point a finger at the merciless bureaucracy of the Empire.

As for who was who, this thread is probably the best place to look.

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Here are the best chat quotes I have managed to find, in chronological order. Also my sense of humor is weird, so you'll probably scratch your head why I chose specifically those:

174th Goblin Herder I can tell who a few people are because I remember who posted certain things on the forum.
174th Goblin Herder But it's going to be weird having chat be like this for a whole day.
732nd Perfectionism Adept Says the one who's job isn't being eaten.

837th Chair Nailer Everything is a citizen of the Empire!
826th Bomb Polisher Proof: http://forum.caravelgames.com/member.php?Action=viewprofile&username=Everything

991st Raft Complaint Clerk Anyway, excellent, hopefully by decoupling user reputation from proposed ideas, ideas can be evaluted according to their true merit.

991st Raft Complaint Clerk I was hoping somebody here would at least qualify for Pillow Fluffer, or Door Closer.
1st Flasher Hush just go back to handling raft complaints
1st Monkey ooh ooh ooh eee eee eee
174th Goblin Herder 991st Raft Complaint Clerk just passes the complaints on to the complaint logger. He doesn't actually handle them.

826th Bomb Polisher April Fools? The forum has been liberated by our saviors from the Empire!

799th Adder Fodder Finally, I have a job I can do!

1st Flasher So. If adder fodder is fed to gentryii jnstead is it a promotion or demotion?
174th Goblin Herder being fed to gentryii is demotion for sure. gentryii always make things worse

621st Picture Gluer Whoa, a thing happened here
343rd Roach Queen Midwife What the is happening
621st Picture Gluer ...so that's who I am, huh
991st Raft Complaint Clerk Glory is happening
343rd Roach Queen Midwife Are you allowed to tell your real nick
174th Goblin Herder Yeah, I thought yours was kinda appropriate.
174th Goblin Herder @621st picture Gluer
1st Monkey thought you were talking to the roach queen midwife
1st Monkey which was a little weird

343rd Roach Queen Midwife Bomb polisher... You're doing a good work
826th Bomb Polisher Thank you! I strive to polish bombs to the best of my ability!
343rd Roach Queen Midwife How do you make sure the bomb don't just detonate when you start polishing one?
991st Raft Complaint Clerk Bombs don't just detonate whenever, you have to sneeze on them or look at them funny.
826th Bomb Polisher Or insult them or their opinions.
826th Bomb Polisher Note: Never try to debate a bomb. It's a lost cause.
826th Bomb Polisher For you, since you'll just get blown up and die. Just today I saw a fellow polisher perish in this manner.

732nd Perfectionism Adept Schrödinger's Fire Trap / Firetrap Maker had me doubt my sanity for a bit, to be honest.

799th Adder Fodder Seems the Author Name column in the forum is wrong.
799th Adder Fodder I'm listed as "566th Firetrap maker" there
732nd Perfectionism Adept We've only been conquered recently. I'm sure as the year goes on there will be further improvements to the way the forum serves in coordinating the Citizens of the Empire.
293rd Perfectionism Adept Given the vastness of the Imperial bureaucracy, that could take awhile.

695th Adder Fodder Glurpy has seen the Second Sky.
293rd Perfectionism Adept Isn't an admin too important to be adder fodder?
470th Serpent Naysayer Well obviously that's just the Empire putting the old administration in its place.

837th Chair Nailer Hmm, I'm now #1 in SR 2S3E, and yet I find my demo really not optimized
470th Serpent Naysayer No doubt that's because you didn't nail down the chair securely enough.
837th Chair Nailer Done. 17% less moves than last attempt
837th Chair Nailer Shaved 4 more moves. I suppose it's fairly optimal by now
293rd Perfectionism Adept So you nailed it?

790th Raft Complaint Clerk I wake up to this, can't someone sleep around here without having an empire take over overnight?

642nd Spoostlefish Calmer Holy lol at the name 1st Flasher
642nd Spoostlefish Calmer As long as you don't flash your face at us. Keep it under wraps please.


837th Chair Nailer http://forum.caravelgames.com/highscores.php?action=holdlevels&id=646
1st Flasher Did you nail a score?
837th Chair Nailer How to nail a score?
1st Flasher The same way you nail the chairs!

1st Flasher You all have fun jobs
1st Flasher And I am just sitting here
1st Flasher Not wanting to talk about mine

790th Raft Complaint Clerk i just checked and 12 archivist did have a job change, must have decided he wasn't a very good archivist after all

470th Serpent Naysayer There's a lot of raft complaints.
790th Raft Complaint Clerk not as buty as the platform complaint clerks though, there are a lot more of those for some reason
790th Raft Complaint Clerk busy*
790th Raft Complaint Clerk and you wouldn't believe how many chairs need nailing around here, its like they didn't even consider the need for nailing them later
790th Raft Complaint Clerk glad i don't have that job

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