Mastered - did you make that new version anyone edit?
There were a lot of easy orb puzzles - that room with the wubbas and the roach queens was a bit annoying. It was an easy orb puzzle, the wubbas just made it longer because I had to move around them. But that's just my opinion.
Dungeon Entrance - Not a bad entrance, I have nothing to really say about it.
Dungeon 1E - Easy golem puzzle, maybe a bit of a challenge for a beginner. There's nothing wrong with this room.
Dungeon 1S1E - Reflects style of entrance. Good consistency.
Dungeon 1S2E - Nice wubba manipulation, made trickier due to force arrows. Did you fix the backtracking problem here?
Dungeon 2E - Straightforward roach queen manipulation room. I didn't need to use the orb at (8,22) to trap the roach, though - you can just make the roaches go into the narrow 1-tile-wide corridor at (11,1). But there's nothing really that wrong with the room, unless that wasn't your intended solution.
Dungeon 1N2E - Having played your original version I don't know if you fixed the backtracking problem here. I think it's a nice way to incorporate Halph into your hold, and it's more wubba manipulation which isn't very tedious at all. Nothing much else to say about this room - nothing needs changing apart from the backtracking problem (which I assume you have fixed by now).
Dungeon 1N1E - Simple orb puzzle. Not much to say here. Roach queens can easily be dispatched.
Dungeon 1N - Looks repetitive, but I think it's okay, to be honest. I mean, as long as you don't make me open a hundred doors then I don't have much of a problem with it. Nothing much else to say about this room.
Dungeon 2N2E - Good idea with the trapdoors; it limits people to stop randomly guessing the solution to the puzzle and think. I randomly guessed the solution but the trapdoors made it trickier to do so. Nice implementation.
Dungeon 2S1E (secret room) - This is probably your best room, I think. It is a good deal harder than the others. Maybe make the timing a little tighter and this could be better. I don't understand the point of the trapdoor in the bottom-right corner, though.
Dead Land Entrance - Not a bad entrance at all. It's fine - no need to change it.
Dead Land 2N2W - Why don't the crumbly walls lead to a secret room? Well, it doesn't matter, I suppose...
Dead Land 2N1W - ...interesting, I guess. I didn't find it comical, but that's just me. I'm sure a lot of other people might like it.
Dead Land 1N2W - Good use of evil eye scripting. Keep that - if you don't include it then it's just hack and slash. A vision token might have helped, but I suppose that adds to the challenge.
Dead Land 1N1W - The character says that he can't 'catch the roach queen before it gets in' -- well, he can certainly kill the roach queen on the force arrow, but I suppose the purpose of that line was to make the player think about the room? I don't know. As for the slayer/goblin/Beethro conversation in the top-left corner, I didn't really find it funny - but then again, that's subject to opinion. I don't speak for the rest of the DROD community, but other players might like this.
Dead Land 1N - Very easy room - doable without the invisibility potion. Not much else to say here.
Dead Land 2W - Introducing rattlesnakes. I didn't understand the point of the orbs/doors though, since it's still easy to complete without them. They don't help much, either. But it's fine - you don't need to change anything here.
Dead Land 1W - ...very easy room, but I can sort of see how you could make this a better lynchpin room if the golems played a part in the path of the roach queen. But nothing is wrong with this room.
Dead Land 1E - What was the point of this room? Are players supposed to be able to get to the scroll?
Dead Land 1S2E - Nice guard practice. Not very difficult because you could just wait for them to come one by one and then it's just Q/W-ing from there.
Dead Land 1S1E - Reminds me of a room from level 4 of JtRH. Not much else to say about this room. It's fine.
Dead Land 1S - This room was pretty much hack and slash. All of the eyes on the right-hand side can just be quickly rushed through and killed because you're out of their lines of vision from the bottom-right corner.
Dead Land 1S1E - Not much to say. Trapdoor puzzle wasn't too hard, and the roaches coming on to the trapdoors wasn't really a challenge. But this room is absolutely fine - no changes needed.
Dead Land 2S1W - Nice room. Might be a challenge for a new player. Nice end to the level.
Dead Land 2S - This room has the unintended solution of being able to kill the roach queen without having it enter any of the alcoves. But you don't need to change that, because that's not likely to be what most players would do.
Undercity Entrance - Nice introduction to the level. No tedium, which is great.
Undercity 1N1E - This room could do with at least one checkpoint somewhere - probably after the first half of the trapdoor puzzle is completed.
Undercity 1E - I like the scrolls at the start of each protruding path.
Undercity 2E - Wubbas were irritating; made the room longer than it needed to be, I think. Simple orb puzzle, not much else to say. I suppose the wubbas can act as a limitation for random guessing. As for the conversation with the goblin king - again, I didn't find it very funny, but other smitemasters may very well disagree!
Undercity 1S1E - Don't know if you know this or not, but you have to do this room twice because you can't drop a blue door and a green door in the same room. But it was a quick end to the level regardless.
Undercity 1S2E - Nice guard room. One has to take each chamber at a time in order to kill all the guards. The slayer didn't really interfere with me, though, because he was quite far away. But no changes need to be done here, I don't think.
General - Spelling/punctuation errors, but that's not really a major problem. There are some holds with far worse grammar, so you don't need to worry.
Rating:
3.5/10 brains
5/10 fun
Much improved from your last hold - well done. I'd suggest waiting for more people to review your hold before submitting it to the Holds board, though.
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55th Skywatcher
[Last edited by Odyssey at 08-09-2010 10:51 AM]
so you might want to wait until someone else has checked it in case I've missed something. 
?
