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agaricus5
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quote:
joker5 wrote:
I can hardly wait.

Is brain candy like eye candy?

~joker5


Probably not. Eye candy is visually stimulating to look at, while brain candy is the squidgy, grey and pink mass you get after your head experiences a meltdown.

I don't know what either tastes like though, so you'll have to ask Drizzo.

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06-21-2004 at 05:18 PM
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RoboBob3000
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Hey, if someone wanted to make a case for banning Watcher from this board (not that I'm suggesting such a thing should happen), they could do it in a topic called "Bar the Watcher"

In other news, we're at 62%.

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06-25-2004 at 05:43 AM
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Watcher
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quote:
RoboBob3000 wrote:
Hey, if someone wanted to make a case for banning Watcher from this board (not that I'm suggesting such a thing should happen), they could do it in a topic called "Bar the Watcher"


:lol

*picks up a bar*

Hey RoboBob! Watch the bar!

*throws the bar at RoboBob*

(just kidding, but it had to be said)

Anyway, now that we're way off subject anyway, here's the obligatory bar joke:

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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06-25-2004 at 11:52 AM
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joker5
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How about the dyslexic man who walked into a bra?

A rabbi, a priest, and a minister all walk into a bar.
The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke?"

~joker5

[Edited by joker5 on 06-25-2004 at 05:41 PM GMT]

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06-25-2004 at 06:41 PM
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masonjason
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A man walks into a bar.
Ouch.
A man and his horse walk into a bar.
Ouch neigh.
A lobster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry! We don't serve lobsters." Then the lobster says, "But I'm not a lobster, I'm the Prince of Monaco." So the bartender pulls up a table for him and says, "Awfully sorry, your excellence". But then everyone dies. Ouchouchouchouchouchouch.

EDIT: Y0wz0rz! 500th post!

[Edited by masonjason on 06-25-2004 at 06:07 PM GMT]

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06-25-2004 at 07:06 PM
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joker5
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In other other news, the bar has just hit 62.5%. I'm esctatic.

~joker5

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06-26-2004 at 03:00 AM
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Drizzo
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quote:
masonjason wrote:
Ouch neigh.
[Edited by masonjason on 06-25-2004 at 06:07 PM GMT]


Had me laughing ridiculously with that.

A skeleton walks into a bar, orders a beer and a towel.


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06-26-2004 at 08:07 AM
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gamer_extreme_101
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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "Why the long face?"


Sorry...I know its bad :? .

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06-26-2004 at 04:33 PM
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Yellow_Mage
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quote:
gamer_extreme_101 wrote:A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "Why the long face?"


:lol

That made me laff!!! Yeah, I've heard it about a million times but I guess it's how you tell them. :)



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06-26-2004 at 05:52 PM
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gamer_extreme_101
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Two peanuts walken into a bar. One was a salted.

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06-26-2004 at 06:05 PM
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DiMono
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Celine Dion walks in to a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?"

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06-26-2004 at 06:13 PM
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joker5
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Bear walks into a bar. Bear says to bartender, "Could I






Have a drink?"

Bartender says to bear: "Why the big pause?"

~joker5

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06-26-2004 at 06:35 PM
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Stuwy
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A panda walks into a bar and asks for a drink and some peanuts. After his drink and food he pulls out a gun and shoots at the ceiling, scaring all the customers away, Then leaves. The next day the panda comes back and the bartender asks why he did that. The panda gives him a poorly translated endangered species handbook and the bartender looks up the panda and it say's:

Wild Panda

Eats, Shoots and leaves.



Yeah, that was bad. But on topic!

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06-26-2004 at 07:19 PM
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Yellow_Mage
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quote:
DiMono wrote:
Celine Dion walks in to a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?"


A winner is you :yes

The question is, did she get the face before or after she walked into the bar?:P


My first and probably only joke:

A golf club walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.

The barman refuses to serve him. "Why not," asks the golf club.

"You'll be driving later," replies the bartender.


*Ba-boom-tish*



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06-26-2004 at 07:30 PM
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masonjason
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OK. Masonjason walks into a bar jokes website and picks out some of the choicest.

A blind man with a guide dog walks into a bar and starts swinging the dog around his head on the end of its lead.
"What are you doing?" asks the bartender.
"Just taking a look around," replies the blindman.

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm.
"A pint, please," he says, "and one for the road."

Dammit, I can't find anymore. They're all trash.

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06-26-2004 at 07:54 PM
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krammer
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One of my favourite jokes coming up. Quite long though...

A piece of tarmac walks into a bar and asks for a pint. "Hey!" says the barman, "I can't serve a piece of tarmac, I'd be a laughing stock! Get out of here!"

"Come on," says the tarmac, "I'm on my own, it's a quiet night, all I want is a drink, I won't do anything."

The barman grudgingly agrees and pulls a pint for the tarmac. Then a second piece of tarmac enters the bar and the barman again gets angry. "This is ridiculous, both of you, out!"

But the two pieces of tarmac both beg and plead to be allowed to stay, and eventually the barman gives up and pulls a second pint.

Then a red piece of tarmac walks in. "Look, this has gone far enough!" exclaims the barman. "All of you, get out, I don't serve tarmac!"

At which point the first piece of tarmac leans over and whispers to the barman, "You'd better be careful around the red guy, he's a cycle-path."

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06-26-2004 at 08:36 PM
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Drizzo
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There was a bear that walked into a bar in Billings , Montana and slammed his paw on the bar and demanded, I want a beer.
The bartender looked the bear squarely in the eye and said, Im sorry but we dont serve beer to bears in Billings .
The bear growled angrily and again demanded a beer.
The bartender again stated, We dont serve beer to belligerent bears in Billings .
The bear roared and said, If you dont give me a beer I am going to eat that woman at the end of the bar.
In frustration the bartender again stated, We do not serve beer to belligerent bears in Billings .
The bear then got up and went to the end of the bar and ate the woman. After he was done he again demanded a beer.
The bartender stated clearly again, We do not serve beer to belligerent bears in Billings, especially when they're on drugs.
The bear said, But Im not on drugs.
The bartender said, But what about that barbituate?

*hides from groans and censors*


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06-26-2004 at 11:51 PM
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agaricus5
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quote:
Drizzo wrote:
*hides from groans and censors*


Yup. I think that goes just a bit too far. It's not exactly the cleanest of jokes and has the potential to offend and probably moves into the gray zone about drug posting.

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06-27-2004 at 12:37 PM
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Drizzo
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quote:
agaricus5 wrote:
quote:
Drizzo wrote:
*hides from groans and censors*


Yup. I think that goes just a bit too far. It's not exactly the cleanest of jokes and has the potential to offend and probably moves into the gray zone about drug posting.


I think that's the 6th cleanest joke I know... Did you hear the one about the Donkey, Lady Godiva and a plunger? Yeah, I made that one up.

Actually, I find myself collecting silly bad jokes, clean ones as often as not. Like so:

One day the bellringer for a church died. So the priest placed an ad in the paper searching for a new bellringer to replace him. Many applicants came, but all were unsatisfactory, they couldn't get proper sounds out of brass to truly sound out God's glory. The priest began to get frustrated and was considering using an air horn to call the sermon and announce weddings and such. Finally he ran out of patience, and decided to take no more applications, when an odd looking fellow entered the church asking about the position. "I'm sorry," said the priest, "but I've decided to replace the bells with an air horn."
The man looked extremely crestfallen, and said with sadness in his voice "But I've come so very far, and bellringing is all I know, give me a chance to show you what I can do."
The priest, being a man of God, couldn't be cold to the man's obvious tragedy and decided to give him a chance. So they walked up the long flights of stairs to the bell tower, and faced the large bells. "Well," said the priest, "show me your stuff."
The man rubbed his hands together and faced the bells. Running full force he smashed face-first into the bells and the sound that came out was like a choir of angels singing. The priest's jaw dropped open. "Oh my goodness," he said, "that's amazing! I never knew bells could sound so magnificent!"
"Thank you so much," said the funny looking man, "bellringing is my life."
"Please," said the priest, "show me you can do that again, that it wasn't just a fluke."
So the man stepped back and again ran full-bore into the bells smashing his face into them, and again the sound that came out was as if the grace of God had touched the priests ears.
"You've got the job!" said the priest. "You are amazing, with bellringing like that the congregation cannot help but grow! Please, just once more, that's the most fantastic sound I've ever heard! I can't wait 'til Sunday to hear that sound again."
The odd looking man was very pleased with the compliments and obviously excited to have a new job, so he took an extra step back and ran extra hard just to really impress his new employer. Unfortunately in all his enthusiam, he missed the bells and ran right out of the bell tower window and fell many stories to the ground below.
The priest gasped in terror, and immediately began running down the flights of stairs to the ground to check on the man, however, being an elderly fellow it took him quite a while to reach the ground, and by the time he got there an ambulance had already arrived, and the man was being examined by paramedics.
"Is he --?" said the priest.
"I'm sorry," said the paramedic, covering the man with a sheet "He's dead. Did you know him?"
To which the priest replied:

"I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell."

:lol:lol:lol


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06-27-2004 at 10:30 PM
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Krishh
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Oh, the horror, the horror!

back on topic, a whopping jump to 64% today.
06-28-2004 at 08:45 AM
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joker5
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Yeah, there's an extention with his brother dying as well, isn't there?

~joker5


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06-28-2004 at 04:43 PM
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Today in DROD.net news:

The bar reaching to the completion climbed up .3% to reach a total of 64.3%. Forum-goers anxious about opening.

In related news; No one has thought about whether the bar is reaching to its full, completed state, or whether this is the bar as to when beta-testing will start. If it is to completion, the DROD newsroom suggests that it would start around 87-95%.

And now back to your regular programming...

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06-28-2004 at 05:45 PM
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joker5
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The bar's growth seems to follow an abs(sin(t)) pattern, although I can't figure out t... it's probably something to do with the days but there's a fudge factor somewhere in there. I'll have an estimate by the time the bar reaches 70%(Or so I hope).

~joker5

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06-28-2004 at 05:54 PM
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swann_88
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if the bar includes beta testing
then the testing must be already underway or just about to start

in my experience
programming is
20% planning
10% coding
70% testing
06-28-2004 at 07:04 PM
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gamer_extreme_101
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quote:
swann_88 wrote:
if the bar includes beta testing
then the testing must be already underway or just about to start



Well, they MIGHT be testing it now, but it will be awhile before they let us test it, I'm sure.

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06-28-2004 at 07:07 PM
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gamer_extreme_101
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We interupt your regular programming to bring you this news update:

The "Rooted Hold" status bar has climbed 0.7% to reach a very even 65%. This, combined with the recent 0.3% jump just this morning has fellow DRODer's jumoing in the streets for joy. One particular DRODer, who we will call "Jack", told reporters that this is "good news for the community". Only time will tell us when it will be released.

Edit: Shortly after the origional post, the bar climbed its way up again to 65.25% for a grand jump of 1.25% jump within the past 12 hours. More is hoped to come, but the message of "Programmers : Good job & Keep it up" will continue ringing throughout the DROD forums.

We now return you to "DROD : Architects Edition", already in progress.

[Edited by gamer_extreme_101 on 06-29-2004 at 01:46 AM GMT]

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06-29-2004 at 02:19 AM
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RoboBob3000
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*Jumos in the streets*

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06-29-2004 at 03:35 AM
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Emmett
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quote:
joker5 wrote:
I'll have an estimate by the time the bar reaches 70%(Or so I hope).

Can't tell you how interested I am in staggering the music to screw up your system. :)



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06-30-2004 at 12:20 AM
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Mattcrampy
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And I haven't done very much with the scripts at all.

Honestly, where are they getting that 70% from, Emmett? Any ideas?

Matt

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07-01-2004 at 03:55 AM
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eytanz
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I think what he meant was that by the time the bar reaches 70% then he'll have a relatively reliable estimate of how long it will take it to fill the final 30% (conjecturing from how long it took it to get from 50% to 70%).

Whether that will be the case or not, of course, is another matter. All this bar watching seems rather silly to me, but nobody is really asking me either.

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