agaricus5 wrote:
Drizzo wrote:
*hides from groans and censors*
Yup. I think that goes just a bit too far. It's not exactly the cleanest of jokes and has the potential to offend and probably moves into the gray zone about drug posting.
I think that's the 6th cleanest joke I know... Did you hear the one about the Donkey, Lady Godiva and a plunger? Yeah, I made that one up.
Actually, I find myself collecting silly bad jokes, clean ones as often as not. Like so:
One day the bellringer for a church died. So the priest placed an ad in the paper searching for a new bellringer to replace him. Many applicants came, but all were unsatisfactory, they couldn't get proper sounds out of brass to truly sound out God's glory. The priest began to get frustrated and was considering using an air horn to call the sermon and announce weddings and such. Finally he ran out of patience, and decided to take no more applications, when an odd looking fellow entered the church asking about the position. "
I'm sorry,"
said the priest, "
but I've decided to replace the bells with an air horn."
The man looked extremely crestfallen, and said with sadness in his voice "
But I've come so very far, and bellringing is all I know, give me a chance to show you what I can do."
The priest, being a man of God, couldn't be cold to the man's obvious tragedy and decided to give him a chance. So they walked up the long flights of stairs to the bell tower, and faced the large bells. "
Well,"
said the priest, "
show me your stuff."
The man rubbed his hands together and faced the bells. Running full force he smashed face-first into the bells and the sound that came out was like a choir of angels singing. The priest's jaw dropped open. "
Oh my goodness,"
he said, "
that's amazing! I never knew bells could sound so magnificent!"
"
Thank you so much,"
said the funny looking man, "
bellringing is my life."
"
Please,"
said the priest, "
show me you can do that again, that it wasn't just a fluke."
So the man stepped back and again ran full-bore into the bells smashing his face into them, and again the sound that came out was as if the grace of God had touched the priests ears.
"
You've got the job!"
said the priest. "
You are amazing, with bellringing like that the congregation cannot help but grow! Please, just once more, that's the most fantastic sound I've ever heard! I can't wait 'til Sunday to hear that sound again."
The odd looking man was very pleased with the compliments and obviously excited to have a new job, so he took an extra step back and ran extra hard just to
really impress his new employer. Unfortunately in all his enthusiam, he missed the bells and ran right out of the bell tower window and fell many stories to the ground below.
The priest gasped in terror, and immediately began running down the flights of stairs to the ground to check on the man, however, being an elderly fellow it took him quite a while to reach the ground, and by the time he got there an ambulance had already arrived, and the man was being examined by paramedics.
"
Is he --?"
said the priest.
"
I'm sorry,"
said the paramedic, covering the man with a sheet "
He's dead. Did you know him?"
To which the priest replied:
"
I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell."
____________________________
"
Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government
and business."
- Tom Robbins
.
