Irashtar
Level: Delver
Rank Points: 41
Registered: 05-26-2005
IP: Logged

I am the very model of a modern smiter general,
I've information briar root, goblin and tar-mud-gel,
I know the kings of Dugandy and can quote the holds historical,
From Acandia to Elphena in order categorical!

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand path maps both simple and brained 'round walls,
About herding goblins I'm teeming with a lot of news,
with many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse!

I can write an extermination bill in Sihmpuhl Englihsh,
And tell you every detail of the 'Neather's crazy speeches,
In short, in matters briar root, goblin and tar-mud-gel,
I am the very model of a modern Smiter General!

How to wield a great big sword I've not a clue,
For my training payments are quite overdue,
But still, in matters brair root, goblin and tar-mud-gel,
I am the very model of a modern Smiter General!

Cool, this is the 2000th topic in the board, yay for round numbers!

---

[Last edited by Irashtar at 11-16-2008 05:14 AM]

Nuntar
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 4965
Registered: 02-20-2007
IP: Logged

This is not bad, but it lacks the relentless rhythm of the original, the exact alternation of stressed and unstressed syllables that keeps it moving at such a ridiculous speed. Here's my attempt at adding a second verse:

I am the very model of a modern smiter-general;
The changes that I make to rooms will never be ephemeral;
I know the rules of movement and apply them with alacrity;
You'll never hear a goblin laugh "That delver's got his back to me!"

Then I can tell at sight a hold by Doom from one by Bibelot
(Though Larry Murk's snake puzzles are a snare on which I trip a lot);
I'd rather visit Elfstone's Seasons than the National Gallery;
I know where Erik's basement is and what became of Malorie;

I know the etymology of Beethro, Halph and Vonnifa,
That roaches are not beetles and a briar's not a conifer;
I know all that there is to know of aumtlich and their origins
(Origins? Origins? Borrigins, porrigins... ah, I've got it!)
I can recite "once, twice, thrice, quarce, quince, sence" all the way to quadragence!

I gave up spelling "linchpin" right when it became anomalous;
I speak entirely in one-liners, screen-width, terse and comma-less;
My top place on the high scores board will never be ephemeral,
For I'm the very model of a modern smiter-general!

____________________________
50th Skywatcher

Banjooie
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1645
Registered: 12-12-2004
IP: Logged

this is the greatest parody of that song I have read all day