UrAvgAzn wrote:
Still can't wait for Elf to post.
Well I found it at last. I couldn't remember what I had called the file or where I had saved it on my previous computer. It is possibly too late now anyway, but as it has been asked for, this is what I wrote back then in an attempt to pour oil on troubled waters
(and actually it worked in that situation) 
I have been thinking about midges.
Scotland is a beautiful country, with much to delight the senses of the discerning traveller. In a geographically small area we have a wealth of differing and wonderful scenery, from verdant rolling farmland in the south to the stark, bleak majesty of the oldest mountains in the world.
In Scotland we also have the occasional midge (well, rather more than occasional, but that’s another story). They are quite remarkable wee beasties, which from time to time have been known to cause a degree of consternation in humans (I have heard it called outright distress, but you know how people exaggerate).
When sightseeing in rural areas of Scotland, especially in the months of July, August and September, it is not unusual to meet up with one or two of these little pests (actually it can be one or two large swarms, but I digress). Midges are particularly fond of still, humid warmth and areas around lochs and burns (and human blood, but that’s another matter). People returning from excursions to such areas have been seen with a bite here or there (in fact, on every exposed bit of flesh, but I really wouldn’t want to alarm you.)
The natural habitat of Scottish midges is predominantly in the West and Northwest of the country - the area with all the mountains and lochs and wilderness and brochs and standing stones and islands and . . . the natural habitat of tourists in fact . So I suppose the message is; if you want to stand on the top of Duncryne looking in wonder up the whole length of Loch Lomond sparkling in the afternoon sun; if you want to spend a pleasant hour or two picnicing and Nessie-spotting; if you want to gaze over pristine, white, silica beaches at the electric blue sea, with the freshest of fresh air in your lungs; if you want to stand in awe watching the sun sink slowly in to the Minch; if you want to marvel at our mountains, breathing in the faint, aromatic smell of heather moorland; in short, if you want to lose yourself in the beauties of Scotland, then you will have to tolerate the occasional midge (it could actually be several hundred thousand of the blighters, but let’s not get sidetracked!)
Scotland and web forums? not so very different!
Elf.
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Winner of: Novice Architect Excellence 2006.
FAPCA - Technical Design Excellence in Layout and Aesthetics
