Banjooie
Level: Smitemaster
Rank Points: 1645
Registered: 12-12-2004
IP: Logged
|
How Banj Ended Up on Linux (+5)
Ahem.
I won't pretend I can tell a story like Erik, because I'm no good at epic things like riding behind trains on bicycles, and I won't pretend I can tell a story even as well as Agaricus, because I'm nowhere near cool enough to put entire stories behind secret tags. That's right, you're going to have to scroll past this every time you read this thread, and you're going to like it.
Regardless, I need to start several months ago, even though it has very little to do with the story itself--precisely, to the point where I realized it wasn't me going blind but rather that the good ol' CRT monitor (With a sticker saying 'Jesus, protect me from your followers' and a little jesus on a spring on top. ;_; I saved spring-jesus, though.) was gradually growing darker and darker. I got reaaal good at Counterstrike, though. Anyway, what with having money at the time (Which is handy for such chicanery as buying things) I bought myself a nice LCD monitor. It still works great, it's all...crystally. Or something. The point is, it is damn fine, and runs obscenely high resolutions. There is also a failure which I am about to get to. Some of you may figure it out before I'm finished, and you people are fancy.
Now, I'd toyed with this Linux thing. Y'know, torrenting a copy here, shoving it into a folder and forgetting about it there. About a day or two ago, I said to myself, 'Banj,' (Because I always refer to myself via internet persona, and third person), 'Banj, you need to get that Linux off your precious hard drive and onto a CD-ROM.'
And so I did. I burnt Knoppix onto that CD-ROM. And Kubuntu. I then, listening to the appropriate music, lol internet'd. All was good and well, for about ten minutes.
I got noobed by Spyware. Not just noobed, mind you, hardcore. It's one of those ones that make you cry, where every google search you go to goes to theirs, and ad-aware removes it all but it gets put back a second later, and baby jesus is bawling his eyes out, and puppies are kicking themselves because you are too angry to do it to them yourself.
But hey! There is always ONE SAFE BASTION when rolling with Windows. Safe Mode. That's how you can kill that spyware, gosh golly. Safe Mode the crap out of it. I hadn't had to do it in some time, in fact. Not since I got the monitor...
This is the part where the 'two' part of our one-two punch comes in. Rather than delicious, delicious safe mode, I boot into a black screen. With a note from my monitor.
'Out of Range'.
If you have blink tags, feel free to put that into notepad, put the blink tags around them, and then save that as an HTML file. I think only Firefox still supports blink, but it's needed for the full effect.
If you haven't caught on--My monitor, y'see, can handle 1900x1280 or something ridiculous.
It cannot handle 640x480.
Unfortunately, Safe Mode, as you might expect, can ONLY pull 640x480. Cleaning spyware without a working monitor is NOT GOOD TIMES.
Windows, upon booting, was a wreck. A terrible, useless heap. Like, there were now viruses and everything and the whole thing was ruined. Oh no! Whatever shall I do!
And then I remembered something.
I had a Knoppix CD. One that could /run straight off the CD/, and give me delicious OS so that I could pester someone who knew Linux how to install the Kubuntu CD I had.
The Knoppix CD I had burnt just /15 minutes ago/. Now, as dense as I am--when the powers that be come down and hit me in the face with an obvious plot hook, I don't go about flipping the bird, I take it.
And now, I sit on Kubuntu.
Now, for those of you who haven't used Linux, I want to make you a bit of an analogy.
Windows is like a very pretty woman. Maybe that's a lie--she's actually not that pretty, but she's wearing a lot of makeup, and she's got implants. She looks pretty, as long as you don't really take the time to look under the hood for very long. Just do your thing, and try not to notice what she actually looks like.
Linux may very well be a pretty woman. You can't tell; she's wearing a burka.
|