We are expected to come up with some kind of April Fools joke each year. But with our checkered past, it's really quite hard to surprise anyone these days. All the oldtimers are guarded against foolery, and you may notice a peculiar desperation among forumites to prove they are too clever to be taken in. Today, I will make a number of announcements. Every one of them will either be a Terrible Lie or an Unexpected Truth. See if you can figure out what's true and what's false.
DROD: The City Beneath Released
Our latest full-length game, titled "
DROD: The City Beneath"
has been released! The release date is exactly two years from the day we released
DROD: Journey to Rooted Hold on April 1st, 2005. In this latest game, we have greatly expanded the storytelling features to make the tale of Beethro's adventures in the Great Beneath all the more epic. A huge number of new game elements have been added, including the infamous "
ray gun"
, which is a laser-like attack that can blast all the way across the room in a single turn. Beethro himself does not carry a ray gun, but other creatures do. And we don't call it a "
ray gun"
, because that might confuse people. But yes, there are definitely ray guns.
Although the order pages are perfectly functional and ready to dispense Windows, Mac OS X, and Linux versions of the new game, I have chosen not to provide a links to the order pages. It isn't strictly necessary. Ditto for the demo versions, which are all sitting on the web server waiting to be downloaded by you or anybody else. I just can't be bothered to give out the links right now. Somebody else is welcome to do it.
Danforth Strout Is Not a Real Person
Danforth Strout, the World's Greatest Salesman, is not, in fact, a real person. He has an e-mail address. He has a biography on the website. He even has a cartoon representation of himself. But despite this strong evidence in support of his existence, Danforth Strout is not really real. The farce has been perpetuated chiefly by myself. I am responsible for writing most of the words attributed to Danforth. Some people have even heard the voice of Danforth Strout in the new release of
DROD: The City Beneath. However, Danforth's speech was performed by professional actor Steve Anderson. We hope that nobody has been harmed by this fraudulent portrayal. When we informed Danforth of his nonexistence, he was surprised and apologetic.
Adam Peterson Is a Real Person
This member of the forum, known as "
Alefbet"
, is, in fact, a real person. It has been noted that both the "
mrimer"
and "
Alefbet"
accounts often log in from the same location, inviting speculation that Adam Peterson is Mike Rimer's extra-sassy alter-ego. The theory goes that when Mike has need to express his more controversial ideas concerning computer languages, he does so under the "
Alefbet"
moniker. However, I will tell you that I have personally met Adam Peterson in Provo, Utah some years ago, and he was an entity separate from Mike Rimer, who I also saw in Provo. They were in the same room together when I saw them, eliminating the possibility of being fooled by Mike Rimer donning a disguise.
Erik Gives Up Running Contests
Seeing that NiroZ is much more dedicated and efficient at running official Caravel contests than myself, I have turned over the latest contest to NiroZ. I also gave up on running the last three contests, letting NiroZ handle them. I think he's done a great job so far, and will continue to do so. Please take a look at his latest contest, which is about making your own April Fools jokes.
http://caravelgames.com/contest.php
Blacklist of People To Whom We Don't Want to Sell DROD: The City Beneath
There is a fairly lengthy "
blacklist"
of people to whom we do not wish to sell
DROD: The City Beneath. It is my sincere preference that people on this list would
not buy a copy, no matter how much they want it. I realize this request can't be enforced, because it's always possible to have someone else buy the game on your behalf. But still I ask these people who are listed below to not buy a copy. We don't want to sell you the game. Why? If your name is on this list, it is because of past dealings with Caravel that have given you a certain "
reputation"
. And I really don't think we should bring it out in public. If you have any argument with your name being on the list, please just e-mail me at erikh@caravelgames.com. But to be honest, if you are upset by the inclusion of your name, you should have considered the consequences of your earlier actions.
Click here to view the secret text
×
Sten Ryason
Brittany Hermansen
Michael Abbott
Patrick Alexander
Erik Ottosen
Roger "Rescator" Hagensen
Mark Thebridge
Tony Porter
Steve Anderson
Sean Hunt
Elfstone
Clayton Weiss
Elna Miller
Mike Kasprzak
Kathy Sherman
Stefan Michelsson
Wai Lam
Martin Jacobsen
Stuart Knapton
T Scott Lanigan
Chris Marks
Brad Wall
Matthew Cramp
John Williams
Seth Rimer
Jon Sonnenburg
William Frank
Gerry Jo Jellestad
Ashley King
Matt Schikore
Neil Frederick
Eytan Zweig
Adam Peterson
When I return from my trip in Europe, I will carefully look through some e-mails I have at home, and add some more names to the blacklist. I recommend staying on my good side. You never know what might put your name on the list!
The Next Caravel Game Is Already Written
Mike Rimer wrote the next Caravel Game even before
DROD: The City Beneath was finished. He was irritated with me bottlenecking the project and needed something productive to do while he waited. So he just wrote another game. Okay, it's not completely finished, because we need to throw in some more artwork, levels, and polish, but the basic game engine is done and works great. I played through the first few levels of the game several months ago. In this game, Beethro has hit points and other statistics like attack and defense that gradually increase as you move through the levels. We are considering giving Beethro a ray gun. Why not? The working title of the game is "
DROD RPG"
, but we are likely to call it something else later, like maybe "
Budkins Gone Wild"
or "
Smiting II: Electric Boogaloo"
.
No Lies Found in this Illumination Were False
There's no reason to argue this point.
No Truths Found in this Illumination Were False
Equally correct as the previous point.
Everything I Say Is Flawlessly Consistent
You don't believe me? Read through the whole thing again. And this time, pay attention!
-Erik
____________________________
The Godkiller - Chapter 1 available now on Steam. It's a DROD-like puzzle adventure game.
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[Last edited by mrimer at 02-19-2009 05:06 AM]
/dy
