agaricus5
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Tscott wrote:

zex20913 wrote:
Hey Sokko, anyone ever tell you that the greatest element of comedy is timing?

Man #1: Ask me what the secret to great comedy is. Go ahead. Ask me.
Man #2: All right. What's the secre-
Man #1: Timing!!!

See. I don't get it!

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Sokko
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What a weird name for a donut, or doughnut depending on how eloquent you're feeling today. Bismark? Wasn't there a ship or something called the Bismarck? I suppose there's no relation.

Man #1: Ask me what the secret to great comedy is. Go ahead. Ask me.
Man #2: All right. What's the secre-
Man #1: Timing!!!

I get it, but I don't get it. Argh!


And we should probably get along with finding the punchline to that joke. It's quite obviously going to be a play on words, due to their being absolutely no relation whatsoever between a jelly do(ugh)nut and one's eye color. Other than that, I really can't fathom what the punchline should be.

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zex20913
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The only thing I thought of was "Bismarks make the eyes go blonder" but that would be more for hair than eyes. And the punned phrase doesn't work too well either.

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DiMono
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Now that I eat these for lunch, I'm filled by different things is the best I can come up with for this one.

And the only reason my joke was difficult to understand is that I told it wrong, so there

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Tscott
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zex20913 wrote:
The only thing I thought of was "Bismarks make the eyes go blonder" but that would be more for hair than eyes. And the punned phrase doesn't work too well either.

Er, you're on the right track. Not 'Bismark' and not 'blonde', though.



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And I can recall our caravel: a little wicker beetle shell with four fine maste and lateen sails,
its bearings on Cair Paravel. O my love, O it was a funny little thing to be the ones to've seen.
-Joanna Newsom "Bridges and Balloons"

Schik
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Donuts make my brown eyes
Donuts make my brown eyes
Donuts make my brown eyes bluuuuuuuueeeeeee


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The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way it treats its animals.
--Mahatma Gandhi

zex20913
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Quick interjection for a rule proposal:

There must be at least a 24-hour wait for a tag.

I know I didn't make this thread, but it seems to be accepted already, and it allows for all visitors and users to try it out, given that they visit once a day.

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Tscott
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Schik wrote:
Donuts make my brown eyes
Donuts make my brown eyes
Donuts make my brown eyes bluuuuuuuueeeeeee

Correct

zex20913 wrote:
There must be at least a 24-hour wait for a tag.

You mean a secret tag/hint? Sorry. I didn't realize this was an implied rule. I'll do better next time.

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And I can recall our caravel: a little wicker beetle shell with four fine maste and lateen sails,
its bearings on Cair Paravel. O my love, O it was a funny little thing to be the ones to've seen.
-Joanna Newsom "Bridges and Balloons"

Schik
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Okay, next:

A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slide up to the bar and says:

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The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way it treats its animals.
--Mahatma Gandhi

zex20913
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"So I'm old."

I got nothing. But, I wanted to respond to Tscott, and felt bad without submitting a punchline. Which sucks...but anyway.

Tscott- It wasn't what you did, I was just suggesting it for a way to give more people a chance to spread humor. And by tag I meant passing the torch, giving the next person a go, saying "Your turn now." That sorta thing. Sorry for any confusion.

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eytanz
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"Did anyone here see the man who shot my paw?"

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Schik
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eytanz wrote:
"Did anyone here see the man who shot my paw?"

You got it.

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The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way it treats its animals.
--Mahatma Gandhi

The_Red_Hawk
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I don't get that one. What's so funny?

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Slashing, whirling, diving, twirling,
Snapping, turning, rising, swirling,
Screeching, flipping, gliding, sliding,
The red hawk's dance of death.

.....the king of the skies.....

Mattcrampy
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Say it out loud in a Western drawl.

Matt

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What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?

Oneiromancer
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The joke is because there's a cliche about having your father shot in Westerns, another name for father is "Pa", which rhymes with "paw".

Game on,

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"He who is certain he knows the ending of things when he is only beginning them is either extremely wise or extremely foolish; no matter which is true, he is certainly an unhappy man, for he has put a knife in the heart of wonder." -- Tad Williams

agaricus5
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I'm really enjoying some of the jokes here. A touch of sparkling humour can really lighten up my day.

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The_Red_Hawk
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Eytanz, have you forgotten this thread? It seems to be your turn.

____________________________
Slashing, whirling, diving, twirling,
Snapping, turning, rising, swirling,
Screeching, flipping, gliding, sliding,
The red hawk's dance of death.

.....the king of the skies.....

eytanz
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Um, yes. Anyone want to take over? I'm totally out of ideas.

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I got my avatar back! Yay!

The_Red_Hawk
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I'll go.

There's a police lineup. There are ten or so (the number is not important) suspected criminals lined up, and a witness is watching through a one-way glass. The policemen in the room asks everybody, one by one, to say "Give me all your money or I'll shoot!" so as to aid the witness. One of the people in the lineup says.....

[Edited by The_Red_Hawk on 02-14-2004 at 07:48 PM GMT]

____________________________
Slashing, whirling, diving, twirling,
Snapping, turning, rising, swirling,
Screeching, flipping, gliding, sliding,
The red hawk's dance of death.

.....the king of the skies.....

Mattcrampy
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"I didn't say that!"

Matt

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What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?

The_Red_Hawk
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Yep. You're up.

____________________________
Slashing, whirling, diving, twirling,
Snapping, turning, rising, swirling,
Screeching, flipping, gliding, sliding,
The red hawk's dance of death.

.....the king of the skies.....

Mattcrampy
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 2388
Registered: 05-29-2003
IP: Logged

Man, I neglected this thread for ages.

An interior designer is out on a job. He is discussing what colour theme the owner wants, when he glances over to the window, excuses himself, opens it and shouts "Green side up!". He closes the window, excuses himself again, and continues.

The owner and the designer go to the next room, an entry hall, where the discussion goes on for a few minutes when the interior designer excuses himself again, goes back to the first room, opens the window and shouts "Green side up!" He closes the window and returns to the bemused owner, who leads him on to the next room.

A few minutes in, the interior designer excuses himself again, and returns to the first room (the owner following), opens the window and shouts "GREEN SIDE UP!" The owner, thoroughly confused, asks what the heck he's doing.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but..."

Matt

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What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?

masonjason
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the people laying the lawn are Irish, or some such silliness.

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Eighty people came to the bazaar.

Mattcrampy
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Yeah, that's it. You're up!

Matt

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What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?

masonjason
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A passenger flight is leaving from a busy airport. The passengers board the plane and sit down, and then see two men in pilot's uniform, with white sticks and guide dogs, heading down the isle towards the cockpit. The passengers begin to laugh, and then stop when they realise it isn't a joke. The plane begins to move down the runway at increasing speed, and after a while the end of the runway becomes visible as a vertical plunge down into a lake. The passengers begin to scream. The plane lifts off just in time to avoid dropping into the water.
One pilot says to the other:

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Eighty people came to the bazaar.

The_Red_Hawk
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I don't get that last one.

____________________________
Slashing, whirling, diving, twirling,
Snapping, turning, rising, swirling,
Screeching, flipping, gliding, sliding,
The red hawk's dance of death.

.....the king of the skies.....

Mattcrampy
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 2388
Registered: 05-29-2003
IP: Logged

Red: the interior designer has a crew of blondes/Irish/insert-whatever-equivalent laying turf. He is instructing them on which side is up.

Get it now?

Matt

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What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?

The_Red_Hawk
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Um...sort of.

____________________________
Slashing, whirling, diving, twirling,
Snapping, turning, rising, swirling,
Screeching, flipping, gliding, sliding,
The red hawk's dance of death.

.....the king of the skies.....

DiMono
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1181
Registered: 09-13-2003
IP: Logged

One pilot says to the other...


It's a good thing they scream when we're supposed to take off, but how are we going to land?

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Deploy the... I think it's a yellow button... it's usually flashing... it makes the engines go... WHOOSH!

masonjason
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I'll accept that. A snappier way of saying it is:
"You know, one day they aren't going to scream in time, and we're all going to die!"
You're up.

____________________________
Eighty people came to the bazaar.