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Mattcrampy
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Joke tag works just like the regular sort of tag - you tell the setup to a joke, and the next person guesses the punchline. If they gets it right, it's their turn.

Here's the twist: If you can come up with a punchline that's better than the original (in the opinion of the person who posted the joke) you get it as well.

Wait at least 24 hours before handing it off - someone may trump the best line in that time, so it pays to wait.

Clean jokes only! If you don't know any clean jokes, well, then you'll have to learn some.

A senior citizen group has a weekly mystery tour. They have a competition where everyone can pay a dollar to have a guess at the destination.

What's the punchline?

Matt

[Edited by Mattcrampy on 01-21-2004 at 10:23 AM GMT]

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01-09-2004 at 02:09 AM
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DiMono
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Of course, the real mystery is where all the money goes...

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01-09-2004 at 04:16 AM
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Scott
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It obviously to supply the Christmas booze.
01-09-2004 at 04:23 AM
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DiMono
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quote:
Scott wrote:
It obviously to supply the Christmas booze.
We're past Christmas, my friend, it's all about drunken easter bunnies now

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01-09-2004 at 06:04 AM
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Scott
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They drink a lot it takes all year to save up.
01-09-2004 at 06:05 AM
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zex20913
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It's kind of sad, because most of them guess once they arrive.

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01-09-2004 at 06:09 AM
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DiMono
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Unfortunately, none of them have clued in that the trip's always to the bathroom.

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01-09-2004 at 06:32 AM
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Mattcrampy
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I think I'll give it to DiMono. That wasn't a bad line!

The 'real' punchline was The driver has won the last three weeks in a row.

You're up!

Matt

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01-09-2004 at 01:07 PM
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DiMono
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Here's one I just thought of.

A man walks in to his local barber shop and sits down. When he's called to the chair, he says "Please give me a woman's business trim." The barber looks at the man and says "A woman's business trim?"

And the punchline is...

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01-11-2004 at 07:03 PM
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Mattcrampy
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"Yes, I'm going for a job in IT and I'm a shoe-in if they think I'm female."

Matt

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01-11-2004 at 08:02 PM
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zex20913
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The man looks at the barber like he's stupid, and says "Yeah! You charge a dollar less for a woman's haircut!"

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01-12-2004 at 05:01 AM
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eytanz
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Line suggestion:
"Yes, I'm getting it for my wife".

Note:
Ok, that was terrible, but I suck at this sort of thing and I felt bad making a comment without participating. Anyway, here's my original comment:

Zex's line would be great, if there really were any barbers in this world which charge less for a woman's haircut.

[Edited by eytanz on 01-13-2004 at 07:02 AM GMT]

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01-13-2004 at 07:01 AM
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DiMono
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The answer I was looking for was You know, just like a man's but it buttons on the other side

I'll let eytanz in, that was pretty good

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01-16-2004 at 04:23 PM
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eytanz
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Um, ok - I'll think of one and post it soon.

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01-16-2004 at 05:07 PM
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eytanz
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Ok, I just read this one; if you've seen it too, you probably shouldn't respond:

I know a very stupid woman. She trains birds to talk - but they all die. Maybe that's because she only trains them to say:



[Edited by eytanz on 01-17-2004 at 09:34 PM GMT]

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01-17-2004 at 09:34 PM
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zex20913
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"Polly wanna lit stick of dynamite."

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01-17-2004 at 11:30 PM
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DiMono
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[insert sexual insult/remark about some miscellaneous mother here]

...

I just can't think of any of those that I could reasonably post here without getting people mad at me...

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01-18-2004 at 12:04 AM
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Mattcrampy
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Same vein as Zex's...

"Polly wanna firecracker!"

I got nothin'.

Matt

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01-18-2004 at 09:56 AM
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eytanz
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Ok, I think there's not much point to wait - Zex gets it, with a rather good response, which was just a little to absurdist to be perfect (because it relies on people giving the bird the dynamite).

The original punchline was "Here, kitty, kitty"

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01-18-2004 at 09:07 PM
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zex20913
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Woohoo!

A man walked into a Zen restaraunt. He ordered some soup, and when he got it he noticed a fly in it. He called the waiter over, and said "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup." The waiter responded "..."

Fill in the ...

[Edited by zex20913 on 01-19-2004 at 09:31 AM GMT: bolding]

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01-19-2004 at 09:30 AM
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Mattcrampy
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"Think of it as soup on your fly."

Okay, so that's not Zen, but whatever.

Matt

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01-19-2004 at 01:18 PM
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DiMono
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Soup or soup not, there is no fly

[Edited by DiMono on 01-19-2004 at 05:35 PM GMT]

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01-19-2004 at 05:34 PM
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The_Red_Hawk
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"It looks like it's doing the backstroke"

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01-19-2004 at 07:05 PM
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Tscott
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quote:
zex20913 wrote:
A man walked into a Zen restaraunt. He ordered some soup, and when he got it he noticed a fly in it. He called the waiter over, and said "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup." The waiter responded "..."
"Clearly that is not your soup, but the fly's." And the man was enlightened.

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01-19-2004 at 10:13 PM
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zex20913
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Tscott is the winner!

The original punchline went along the lines of Mattcrampy's: "Sir, there is soup around your fly" But Tscott's was better. You're up!



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01-20-2004 at 02:51 PM
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Tscott
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Here's the best I can come up with right now. Hopefully someone gets it...

A man was eating a jelly filled bismark when a friend of his walked in the room. His friend asked, "Are you wearing different contacts today? I could've sworn you had brown eyes for as long as I've known you, but today you don't." The man pointed at the bismark and said, "No, it's just that..."

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01-20-2004 at 09:22 PM
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Sokko
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Err... what the heck is a bismark? :P

Also, I'd like to point out that I've told all of these jokes, with their proper punchlines, to all members of my family. They stood there dumbly and saw not a single pint of humor in any one of them. While I don't quite share the same viewpoint, I'll admit that some (such as DiMono's) are pretty obtuse. Not that I'm insulting your jokes or anything. *ducks*

[Edited by Sokko on 01-20-2004 at 09:34 PM GMT]

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01-20-2004 at 09:34 PM
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zex20913
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Hey Sokko, anyone ever tell you that the greatest element of comedy is timing? :P

I don't know what a bismark is either, but it sounds like a donut.

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01-20-2004 at 09:54 PM
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agaricus5
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quote:
zex20913 wrote:
Hey Sokko, anyone ever tell you that the greatest element of comedy is timing? :P

Not always. Audience is also important. For example, my family is Chinese and so we have jokes about things that people from different cultures won't understand. In a similar way, we don't get certain types of jokes that would cause others to roll on the floor with laughter. Perhaps Sokko's family don't understand this sort of humour, and I'll agree with Sokko that the more bizarre answers like DiMono's are truly very hard to understand.

Edit... Relative to me, of course.

[Edited by agaricus5 on 01-20-2004 at 10:01 PM GMT]

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01-20-2004 at 10:00 PM
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Tscott
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quote:
zex20913 wrote:
Hey Sokko, anyone ever tell you that the greatest element of comedy is timing? :P
Man #1: Ask me what the secret to great comedy is. Go ahead. Ask me.
Man #2: All right. What's the secre-
Man #1: Timing!!!
quote:
I don't know what a bismark is either, but it sounds like a donut.
That's exactly what it is.

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01-20-2004 at 10:39 PM
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