Mattcrampy
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 2388
Registered: 05-29-2003
IP: Logged

Joke tag works just like the regular sort of tag - you tell the setup to a joke, and the next person guesses the punchline. If they gets it right, it's their turn.

Here's the twist: If you can come up with a punchline that's better than the original (in the opinion of the person who posted the joke) you get it as well.

Wait at least 24 hours before handing it off - someone may trump the best line in that time, so it pays to wait.

Clean jokes only! If you don't know any clean jokes, well, then you'll have to learn some.

A senior citizen group has a weekly mystery tour. They have a competition where everyone can pay a dollar to have a guess at the destination.

What's the punchline?

Matt

[Edited by Mattcrampy on 01-21-2004 at 10:23 AM GMT]

____________________________
What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?

DiMono
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1181
Registered: 09-13-2003
IP: Logged

Of course, the real mystery is where all the money goes...

____________________________
Deploy the... I think it's a yellow button... it's usually flashing... it makes the engines go... WHOOSH!

Scott
Level: Smitemaster
Rank Points: 578
Registered: 02-12-2003
IP: Logged

It obviously to supply the Christmas booze.

DiMono
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1181
Registered: 09-13-2003
IP: Logged

Scott wrote:
It obviously to supply the Christmas booze.

We're past Christmas, my friend, it's all about drunken easter bunnies now

____________________________
Deploy the... I think it's a yellow button... it's usually flashing... it makes the engines go... WHOOSH!

Scott
Level: Smitemaster
Rank Points: 578
Registered: 02-12-2003
IP: Logged

They drink a lot it takes all year to save up.

zex20913
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1721
Registered: 02-04-2003
IP: Logged

It's kind of sad, because most of them guess once they arrive.

____________________________

DiMono
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1181
Registered: 09-13-2003
IP: Logged

Unfortunately, none of them have clued in that the trip's always to the bathroom.

____________________________
Deploy the... I think it's a yellow button... it's usually flashing... it makes the engines go... WHOOSH!

Mattcrampy
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 2388
Registered: 05-29-2003
IP: Logged

I think I'll give it to DiMono. That wasn't a bad line!

The 'real' punchline was The driver has won the last three weeks in a row.

You're up!

Matt

____________________________
What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?

DiMono
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1181
Registered: 09-13-2003
IP: Logged

Here's one I just thought of.

A man walks in to his local barber shop and sits down. When he's called to the chair, he says "Please give me a woman's business trim." The barber looks at the man and says "A woman's business trim?"

And the punchline is...

____________________________
Deploy the... I think it's a yellow button... it's usually flashing... it makes the engines go... WHOOSH!

Mattcrampy
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 2388
Registered: 05-29-2003
IP: Logged

"Yes, I'm going for a job in IT and I'm a shoe-in if they think I'm female."

Matt

____________________________
What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?

zex20913
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1721
Registered: 02-04-2003
IP: Logged

The man looks at the barber like he's stupid, and says "Yeah! You charge a dollar less for a woman's haircut!"

____________________________

eytanz
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 2708
Registered: 02-05-2003
IP: Logged

Line suggestion:
"Yes, I'm getting it for my wife".

Note:
Ok, that was terrible, but I suck at this sort of thing and I felt bad making a comment without participating. Anyway, here's my original comment:

Zex's line would be great, if there really were any barbers in this world which charge less for a woman's haircut.

[Edited by eytanz on 01-13-2004 at 07:02 AM GMT]

____________________________
I got my avatar back! Yay!

DiMono
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1181
Registered: 09-13-2003
IP: Logged

The answer I was looking for was You know, just like a man's but it buttons on the other side

I'll let eytanz in, that was pretty good

____________________________
Deploy the... I think it's a yellow button... it's usually flashing... it makes the engines go... WHOOSH!

eytanz
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 2708
Registered: 02-05-2003
IP: Logged

Um, ok - I'll think of one and post it soon.

____________________________
I got my avatar back! Yay!

eytanz
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 2708
Registered: 02-05-2003
IP: Logged

Ok, I just read this one; if you've seen it too, you probably shouldn't respond:

I know a very stupid woman. She trains birds to talk - but they all die. Maybe that's because she only trains them to say:



[Edited by eytanz on 01-17-2004 at 09:34 PM GMT]

____________________________
I got my avatar back! Yay!

zex20913
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1721
Registered: 02-04-2003
IP: Logged

"Polly wanna lit stick of dynamite."

____________________________

DiMono
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1181
Registered: 09-13-2003
IP: Logged

[insert sexual insult/remark about some miscellaneous mother here]

...

I just can't think of any of those that I could reasonably post here without getting people mad at me...

____________________________
Deploy the... I think it's a yellow button... it's usually flashing... it makes the engines go... WHOOSH!

Mattcrampy
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 2388
Registered: 05-29-2003
IP: Logged

Same vein as Zex's...

"Polly wanna firecracker!"

I got nothin'.

Matt

____________________________
What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?

eytanz
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 2708
Registered: 02-05-2003
IP: Logged

Ok, I think there's not much point to wait - Zex gets it, with a rather good response, which was just a little to absurdist to be perfect (because it relies on people giving the bird the dynamite).

The original punchline was "Here, kitty, kitty"

____________________________
I got my avatar back! Yay!

zex20913
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1721
Registered: 02-04-2003
IP: Logged

Woohoo!

A man walked into a Zen restaraunt. He ordered some soup, and when he got it he noticed a fly in it. He called the waiter over, and said "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup." The waiter responded "..."

Fill in the ...

[Edited by zex20913 on 01-19-2004 at 09:31 AM GMT: bolding]

____________________________

Mattcrampy
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 2388
Registered: 05-29-2003
IP: Logged

"Think of it as soup on your fly."

Okay, so that's not Zen, but whatever.

Matt

____________________________
What do you call an elephant at the North Pole?

DiMono
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1181
Registered: 09-13-2003
IP: Logged

Soup or soup not, there is no fly

[Edited by DiMono on 01-19-2004 at 05:35 PM GMT]

____________________________
Deploy the... I think it's a yellow button... it's usually flashing... it makes the engines go... WHOOSH!

The_Red_Hawk
Level: Smitemaster
Rank Points: 783
Registered: 09-02-2003
IP: Logged

"It looks like it's doing the backstroke"

____________________________
Slashing, whirling, diving, twirling,
Snapping, turning, rising, swirling,
Screeching, flipping, gliding, sliding,
The red hawk's dance of death.

.....the king of the skies.....

Tscott
Level: Smiter

Rank Points: 382
Registered: 02-10-2003
IP: Logged

zex20913 wrote:
A man walked into a Zen restaraunt. He ordered some soup, and when he got it he noticed a fly in it. He called the waiter over, and said "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup." The waiter responded "..."

"Clearly that is not your soup, but the fly's." And the man was enlightened.

____________________________
And I can recall our caravel: a little wicker beetle shell with four fine maste and lateen sails,
its bearings on Cair Paravel. O my love, O it was a funny little thing to be the ones to've seen.
-Joanna Newsom "Bridges and Balloons"

zex20913
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1721
Registered: 02-04-2003
IP: Logged

Tscott is the winner!

The original punchline went along the lines of Mattcrampy's: "Sir, there is soup around your fly" But Tscott's was better. You're up!



____________________________

Tscott
Level: Smiter

Rank Points: 382
Registered: 02-10-2003
IP: Logged

Here's the best I can come up with right now. Hopefully someone gets it...

A man was eating a jelly filled bismark when a friend of his walked in the room. His friend asked, "Are you wearing different contacts today? I could've sworn you had brown eyes for as long as I've known you, but today you don't." The man pointed at the bismark and said, "No, it's just that..."

____________________________
And I can recall our caravel: a little wicker beetle shell with four fine maste and lateen sails,
its bearings on Cair Paravel. O my love, O it was a funny little thing to be the ones to've seen.
-Joanna Newsom "Bridges and Balloons"

Sokko
Level: Smiter

Rank Points: 336
Registered: 02-25-2003
IP: Logged

Err... what the heck is a bismark?

Also, I'd like to point out that I've told all of these jokes, with their proper punchlines, to all members of my family. They stood there dumbly and saw not a single pint of humor in any one of them. While I don't quite share the same viewpoint, I'll admit that some (such as DiMono's) are pretty obtuse. Not that I'm insulting your jokes or anything. *ducks*

[Edited by Sokko on 01-20-2004 at 09:34 PM GMT]

____________________________
How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored?

zex20913
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1721
Registered: 02-04-2003
IP: Logged

Hey Sokko, anyone ever tell you that the greatest element of comedy is timing?

I don't know what a bismark is either, but it sounds like a donut.

____________________________

agaricus5
Level: Smitemaster
Rank Points: 1838
Registered: 02-04-2003
IP: Logged

zex20913 wrote:
Hey Sokko, anyone ever tell you that the greatest element of comedy is timing?

Not always. Audience is also important. For example, my family is Chinese and so we have jokes about things that people from different cultures won't understand. In a similar way, we don't get certain types of jokes that would cause others to roll on the floor with laughter. Perhaps Sokko's family don't understand this sort of humour, and I'll agree with Sokko that the more bizarre answers like DiMono's are truly very hard to understand.

Edit... Relative to me, of course.

[Edited by agaricus5 on 01-20-2004 at 10:01 PM GMT]

____________________________
Resident Medic/Mycologist

Tscott
Level: Smiter

Rank Points: 382
Registered: 02-10-2003
IP: Logged

zex20913 wrote:
Hey Sokko, anyone ever tell you that the greatest element of comedy is timing?

Man #1: Ask me what the secret to great comedy is. Go ahead. Ask me.
Man #2: All right. What's the secre-
Man #1: Timing!!!

I don't know what a bismark is either, but it sounds like a donut.

That's exactly what it is.

____________________________
And I can recall our caravel: a little wicker beetle shell with four fine maste and lateen sails,
its bearings on Cair Paravel. O my love, O it was a funny little thing to be the ones to've seen.
-Joanna Newsom "Bridges and Balloons"