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Nillo
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What's the difference between a chicken and the Kyoto Protocol?
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From this wikipedia article.

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“Folks say that if you listen real close at the height of the full moon, when the wind is blowin' off Nantucket Sound from the nor' east and the dogs are howlin' for no earthly reason, you can hear the awful screams of the crew of the 'Ellie May,' a sturdy whaler Captained by John McTavish; for it was on just such a night when the rum was flowin' and, Davey Jones be damned, big John brought his men on deck for the first of several screaming contests.”
04-16-2007 at 05:51 PM
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MeckMeck GRE
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quote:
VIPCOOL wrote:
Waiter, there is a small wraithwing in my soup
Don't worry sir, I will find you a bigger one
???
The next day
Waiter, there is a roach in my soup
That because the wraithwings are missing
!!!


Fixed.
04-23-2007 at 08:11 PM
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fre3d
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Doctor: Sir, you only have 24 hours to live.
Patient: Oh no! What could be worse?
Doctor: I forgot to tell you yesterday!
04-24-2007 at 03:06 PM
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Neathro
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Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

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04-27-2007 at 10:20 AM
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Pilchard VIII
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There's an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman, and they find a magic slide. The legend says that if you slide down it and call out your greatest desire, it will be there at the end of the slide. The Englishman slides down it and shouts "Money!" and he lands in a large pot of money. The Scotsman slides down and shouts "Whisky!" and he lands in a large pot of whisky. The Irishman slides down it and goes "Wheeee!"

'nuff said.

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The DROD Dragon
04-28-2007 at 07:43 AM
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Ed Crash
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3 tomatoes goes on road.

1st tomatoe: Look a car! Plchs (car rides on tomatoe)
2nd tomatoe: Where? Plchs
3rd tomatoe: Run away! Plchs

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Eda
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06-30-2007 at 08:07 PM
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golfrman
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What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in a room?
A full set of teeth.

Why does New Jersey have all the toxic waste dumps and California has all the lawyers?
Because New Jersey got first pick!

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Jesus is Lord and Messiah!
07-01-2007 at 01:04 AM
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Jeff_Ray...
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At the Roasted Roach Grill

Customer: I'd like a roach, please.

Beethro: We're sorry, we ran out of roaches.

Customer: Why?

Beethro: We forgot to take off their legs!

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07-03-2007 at 11:40 AM
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Rheb
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This is a joke I heard in Swedish, (I'm not very good at English, but I did my best to translate it).

A man sits in the backseat of a taxi. He taps the chauffeur on his shoulder to tell him that he took the wrong way. The chauffeur slam on the brakes, and runs away screaming from the car. After a few minuets he comes back:
“I’m really sorry, you see, normally I drives the motor hearse.”

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07-05-2007 at 12:13 PM
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Ed Crash
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I tried to translate it to english so there might be some corrupts...
Click here to view the secret text


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Eda
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07-10-2007 at 07:47 PM
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Tahnan
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I'd tell you a joke about unsharpened pencils but there's no point.
07-12-2007 at 04:50 PM
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Jason
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icon Re: Joke Modder (0)  
quote:
Tahnan wrote:
I'd tell you a joke about unsharpened pencils but there's no point.


O:-



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07-12-2007 at 05:51 PM
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Jeff_Ray...
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I'd tell you a joke about a turtle but it isn't here yet.

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Currently playing:
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My Holds:
-Completed:
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[Last edited by Jeff_Ray... at 07-15-2007 05:58 PM]
07-15-2007 at 04:39 PM
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golfrman
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quote:
Jeff_Ray... wrote:
I'd tell you a joke about turtles but it isn't here yet.

shouldn't that be "I'd tell you a joke about A turtle but it isn't here yet."?
Or "I'd tell you a joke about turtles but THEY AREN'T here yet."?

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Jesus is Lord and Messiah!
07-15-2007 at 05:27 PM
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Jeff_Ray...
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Fixed

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I make Let's Plays too!
Click here to find out my LPs' progress, and find out what I plan to tackle next!

Currently playing:
Click here to view the secret text


My Holds:
-Completed:
Click here to view the secret text

-Work in Progress:
Click here to view the secret text

07-15-2007 at 05:58 PM
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golfrman
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I was gonna tell you a joke about procrastination, but i'll do it tommorow.

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07-17-2007 at 03:33 PM
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hyperme
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A man walked into a bar.

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[Insert witty comment here]
Qzvlkx?
07-17-2007 at 09:02 PM
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The spitemaster
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You know you are in Heaven when:
The English are the police,
The Italians are chefs,
The Germans are mechanics,
The French are lovers,
And the Swiss are accountants.

You know you are in Hell when:
The English are chefs,
The Italians are mechanics,
The Germans are the police,
The French are accountants,
And the Swiss are lovers.

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Last night upon a stair
I met a man that wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish that man would stay away
07-18-2007 at 02:04 AM
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RoboBob3000
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You know you are in Heaven when:
The Hittites are the police,
The Hittites are chefs,
The Hittites are mechanics,
The Hittites are lovers,
And the Hittites are accountants.

You know you are in Hell when:
The Hittites are chefs,
The Hittites are mechanics,
The Hittites are the police,
The Hittites are accountants,
And the Hittites are lovers.

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http://beepsandbloops.wordpress.com/
07-18-2007 at 06:29 AM
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Rabscuttle
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You know you are in Hattusa when:
The Hittites are the police,
The Hittites are chefs,
The Hittites are mechanics,
The Hittites are lovers,
And the Hittites are accountants.
07-18-2007 at 06:33 AM
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NiroZ
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You know your are in the Caravel Forums when:
You see an injoke brutally beaten to death with it's own limbs.

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A still more glorious dawn awaits
Not a sunrise, but a galaxy rise
A morning filled with 400 billion suns
The rising of the milky way - Carl Sagan.

07-18-2007 at 08:06 AM
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zonhin
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You know you are in the Hittite Forums when:
You see an injoke brutally beaten to death with it's own limbs.

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I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye

[Last edited by zonhin at 07-18-2007 05:15 PM]
07-18-2007 at 05:15 PM
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Jason
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You know you are in the Hittite Forums when:
You see an injoke being brutally beaten to death with its own limbs while others nitpick about grammar.

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Play my holds?
07-18-2007 at 05:41 PM
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zonhin
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You know you are in the Hittite Forums when:
You see a Hittite correct my grammar, when basically all I did was copy-paste, fix a single mistake and call it a night.

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I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye
07-18-2007 at 05:43 PM
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Znirk
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You know things are going way too far when you fix a single mistake and call it a Hittite.
07-18-2007 at 06:12 PM
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zonhin
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Do you guys think that maybe the Hittite joke is getting a little old? Just maybe? (Stupid Hittites think they can make dumb jokes)

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I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye
07-19-2007 at 04:17 AM
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Jatopian
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quote:
zonhin wrote:
Do you guys think that maybe the Hittite joke is getting a little old? Just maybe? (Stupid Hittites think they can make dumb jokes)
I want to find the solar plexus of the person who first suggested them, and Hittite hard.

Not really. But now it's old.

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07-19-2007 at 04:34 AM
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Znirk
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Well, Hittite jokes have a lot of catching up to do before they become as old as Welsh/Norwegian/Fribourgeois/whatever jokes.
07-19-2007 at 07:53 AM
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MeckMeck GRE
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quote:
zonhin wrote:
Do you guys think that maybe the Hittite joke is getting a little old? Just maybe? (Stupid Hittites think they can make dumb jokes)


I don't like the idea at all to replace any word refering to a nation,a religion or a certain group of people with "Hittie". It dosen't make the jokes better, it usually makes them plain stupid. There a lot of jokes about German bureaucracy and British food and they're just as long funny as long as you know about their background. If you're now going to write about Hittish bureaucracy guys eating Hittish food it's rather a guessing game than a joke.
07-19-2007 at 12:52 PM
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zonhin
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Guys, MeckMeck is lost to us forever. :(

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I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye
07-19-2007 at 01:04 PM
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