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Jeff_Ray...
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Please imput wish:

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09-13-2006 at 10:00 PM
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Drgamer
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Drgamer wrote:

I wish for a tax refund of the usual amount gotten from tax rebates for every citizen of the U.S.A. (Of which I am, and I can't be moved from the U.S.A.), from the United States Government (And by United States Government I mean the section that handles the refunds). And the U.S. Government gets a tax refund in the form of the National Debt (Of the U.S.) is cut down to a few thosand U.S. dollars. In addition to this wish no negative side effects (Or negative outcomes, if you prefer) on me, the U.S. Government, or citizen of the USA, etc.

Oh and inflation of the U.S. dollar is considered a negative side effect.
Next time read it a little closer, Jeff!
09-13-2006 at 10:11 PM
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Jeff_Ray...
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You get one,but it wasn't legal, so you get chased by the police.

I wish you could choose beetween these two things to escape the wish's result: Resist arrest or flee in car.

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09-13-2006 at 10:57 PM
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silver
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Gah, Jeff. Wasting such a complicated wish by simply ignoring it and its consequences... being chased by the police is a negative outcome, which he clearly warded against in his wish.

Drgamer wrote:
I wish for a tax refund of the usual amount gotten from tax rebates for every citizen of the U.S.A. (Of which I am, and I can't be moved from the U.S.A.), from the United States Government (And by United States Government I mean the section that handles the refunds). And the U.S. Government gets a tax refund in the form of the National Debt (Of the U.S.) is cut down to a few thosand U.S. dollars. In addition to this wish no negative side effects (Or negative outcomes, if you prefer) on me, the U.S. Government, or citizen of the USA, etc.

Oh and inflation of the U.S. dollar is considered a negative side effect.

"And the U.S. Government gets a tax refund in the form of the National Debt (Of the U.S.) is cut down to a few thosand U.S. dollars."

that's not how it works, mate. the US government collects taxes - it doesn't pay them. ergo it cannot get a "refund" (and note that a tax refund is no such thing at all, it just means you put in too much into the interest-free savings they require you to use).

in any case, taxes are what the US government collects in order to pay its debts. you cannot both have the US government give away its tax income AND have it spend its now non-existent tax income on debt reduction.

also, in order to remove the national debt, the government would need to collect about 29 thousand dollars from each citizen (and spend it on nothing but debt reduction) - which is clearly greater than the tax burden the majority of people bear.

so, essentially, your wish is exactly like wishing that black was white, that 2+2 was 5, that you had tea and no tea at the same time. it's lunacy of the kind that could destroy the universe if the genie would play along...

instead you just feel like your wish was granted, then you wake up to a genie hitting you with an economics book and bidding you to read it.


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09-13-2006 at 11:35 PM
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Drgamer
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I knew there was something I forgot...

Technically two people have posted so:

To Jeff_Ray:
Granted, I get a car. Because I don't actually have to flee, I sell the car and get out ahead. Thanks

I wish that the U.S. Government would come up with a budget that helped get rid of the National Debt

09-13-2006 at 11:56 PM
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Canadian_Army
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Granted, however the budget includes borrowing even more money

I wish I had a longer attention... ohhh a penny!!! Ladadada... Oh... OHYA a longer attention span!

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09-14-2006 at 12:10 AM
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Jeff_Ray...
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You do, but it only adds 1 milisecond to your attention span. >_<

I wish this wish can't be corrupted.

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09-14-2006 at 12:46 AM
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Drgamer
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Granted, but nothing happens.

I wish that Humans used 10% more of their brains.
09-14-2006 at 12:52 AM
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coppro
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Repositories appear in front of everyone's heads, specially designed to work without the ATA gene.

I wish he hadn't made that wish within a page of my last wish.
09-14-2006 at 12:56 AM
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NiroZ
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coppro wrote:
Repositories appear in front of everyone's heads, specially designed to work without the ATA gene.

I wish he hadn't made that wish within a page of my last wish.

Granted. An admin removes his wish. However, the forum crashes before the next backup, this reinserting his post. Oddly enough, it is the only thing affected on the forum.

I wish Jeff_Ray... would follow the 'don't post within 2 posts of youself' rule, and give an answer which was better related to the question.
09-14-2006 at 04:51 AM
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Niccus
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Granted. CNet Forum has been assimilated into 4chan, where Jeff cannot post quickly enough to post within 2 posts of himself, and anything he says is relevant, however irrelevant.

I wish Uwe Boll keeps to his promise to box certain reviewers and that the event is on cable.
09-14-2006 at 04:57 AM
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Briareos
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Niccus wrote:
I wish Uwe Boll keeps to his promise to box certain reviewers and that the event is on cable.
Granted. To everyone's dismay, Boll survives the fight and continues to tank movies left and right... :(

I wish I had a nutcracker so my cow-orkers would stop smashing hazelnuts with whatever they find... *hides behind his desk*

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09-14-2006 at 08:20 AM
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Jeff_Ray...
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You get one, but they find it, and break hazelnuts by smashing it on one. Bad luck.

I wish nobody can ever wish anything related to me.

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09-14-2006 at 11:15 AM
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Timo006
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Granted, nobody can wish anything related to you, even yourself. Because of that, the wish doesn't count ;)

I wish that I didn't had any homework to do.

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09-14-2006 at 01:45 PM
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jjohn7418
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Granted, you don't have any homework to do, but you do have schoolwork to do and they keep you at school until 9:00 PM to finish it all.

I wish it was 5:00 and time to go home.

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09-14-2006 at 02:44 PM
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krammer
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Ok, it is now both 5:00 and time to go home *at the same time*. Unfortunately the strain of keeping you at two different times at once is too much and causes the very fabric of the universe to fall apart. Be more careful next time.

I wish that the next wish is about a platypus.


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09-14-2006 at 03:16 PM
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jamesdenem
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Granted, it is 5:00 and you have just been released from a maximum security prison. You don't have a car, so you will have to hitchhike. You were in there on murder charges, so nobody wants to take you home.

I wish that a rabid, killer platypus attacked krammer, and then died.

Edit: post collision!

krammer:Granted, but it won't be a very nice wish.


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09-14-2006 at 03:19 PM
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Bunches
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Granted, the killer platypus feebly trys to atack krammer, and then it dies from a heartatack.

i wish i didn't go swimming in the ocean with my clothes on instead of a bathing suit 2 days ago.

[Last edited by Bunches at 09-14-2006 04:25 PM]
09-14-2006 at 04:25 PM
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Cedhric
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Bunches wrote:
i wish i didn't go swimming in the ocean with my clothes on instead of a bathing suit 2 days ago.

Granted! You went swimming in raw sewage with your clothes on instead of a bathing suit 2 days ago.

I wish that my wife looked like Krista Allen.

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09-14-2006 at 05:49 PM
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Jason
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Granted. As soon as she transformed, she divorced you.

I wish that everyone would become sensible.

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09-14-2006 at 05:53 PM
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Timo006
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Granted, Everyone is sensible from now on, people even run to someone who is a little bit sad and with that, all will become a chaos making everyone sad, which will make the chaos even worse etc..

I wish that I would live on my own. ;)

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09-14-2006 at 08:08 PM
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Briareos
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Timo006 wrote:
I wish that I would live on my own. ;)
Granted. With the world out of the way, you soon die due to horrible loneliness...

I wish I had know about our 10th anniversary high school class reunion a bit earlier than, like, one single day before it (i.e. today)...

np: Dettinger - Lemon (Kompakt Total 2)

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09-14-2006 at 09:06 PM
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Kevin_P86
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Granted. A time machine has been invented, and you were sent back to let yourself know about the reunion in plenty of time. However, upon going back in time and meeting yourself, the future is altered in a way that causes you to no longer exist (It's too bad no one knows exactly how time travel works...!). At least you don't have the problem of the reunion any more...!

I wish the program I'm writing would stop not working and work for a change.

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09-14-2006 at 10:45 PM
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tokyokid
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Granted, but It only works for a minute!
I wish Steve Irwin was still alive.
09-14-2006 at 10:50 PM
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Drgamer
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Granted, He's now a zombie. Way to go, you caused the undead to rise up.

I wish I could control time at will, with no bad side effects towards me. (People I know getting bad side effects would be a bad side effect, unless I specifically want something bad to happen to them [IE: My enemies])
09-14-2006 at 11:46 PM
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Canadian_Army
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Granted, all you have to do is think of a time piriod. (This starts to become a big hassal durring history class)

I wish i coud spel good

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09-15-2006 at 12:12 AM
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coppro
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Very well. You may now control time at will. However, because control of time has been handed over to you, time immediately ceases to flow until you change something, which you can't, because time ceased to flow.
09-15-2006 at 12:15 AM
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zex20913
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I'll just knock them both out.

Canadian_Army wrote:
Granted, all you have to do is think of a time piriod. (This starts to become a big hassal durring history class)

I wish i coud spel good

Granted, although this wish is kind of silly, because you already spelled "good" correctly. All other words are still out of your grasp.

Very well. You may now control time at will. However, because control of time has been handed over to you, time immediately ceases to flow until you change something, which you can't, because time ceased to flow.

No wish to grant. Nothing happens.

I wish that I had a Wii that worked as intended, including all game-playing essentials, as well as a working as intended copy of TLoZ: Twilight Princess (it's going to be so hard not to call it TP.) for the Wii, and wouldn't be arrested due to any illegal methods of obtaining said items.

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09-15-2006 at 01:34 AM
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Kevin_P86
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Granted. However, being the only one to possess such a console, people are travelling hundreds and thousands of miles to your house in the hopes that they might get a chance to play it (news travels quickly, you know). As a result, there is an impenetrable group of people surrounding your house spanning miles in every direction. I hope you don't plan on leaving your house any time soon...

I wish piracy (of everything) would stop.



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09-15-2006 at 04:31 AM
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Dolan42
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Granted, all copyrighted material has disappeared. In fact now mankind is no longer capable of creative thought. Oh, and since ships were never invented those pirates are taken care of also. :)

I wish someone would make me a drink.

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09-15-2006 at 07:15 AM
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