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Jatopian
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The update introduces bugs to collision detection and rendering. Then the developers poof.

I wish for a tasty cake that is not hazardous to health to appear on a level steel platter on my table.

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06-26-2014 at 10:12 PM
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Emojk
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The cake is not hazardous to health at all. In fact, it's the best thing you've ever tasted. So much so that everything else tastes like wet ashes from now on.
Oh, and of course you have no recipe to recreate this wonderful cake.

I wish for a portable teleporter that teleports me where I want to without changing my molecular self in any way.
06-26-2014 at 11:20 PM
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12th Archivist
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Granted. The teleporter does not affect your molecules in the slightest. Your atomic nuclei, on the other hand...

Let's just hope your vacation plans don't include touring cities.

I wish gamer_extreme_101 would conquer EotS already.

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Check out the DROD Wikia project here!
06-26-2014 at 11:34 PM
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azb
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Granted, but then he gets lazy and stops doing LP's...

I wish for a dish.

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06-26-2014 at 11:43 PM
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BlueFlower
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Granted. Your new TV provider is Dish.

I wish for a roach.

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06-27-2014 at 05:24 AM
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azb
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Granted, you get one in DROD, and it eats you.

I wish to travel back in time.

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06-29-2014 at 12:08 AM
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Jordthro
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Granted, you travel the smallest fraction of a nanosecond back in time. Even the subatomic state of the universe remains for the most part completely unaltered. You have no idea your wish was ever granted and you spend the remainder of your years with exactly the same outcome as if you had never denied the laws of physics--which you did.

I wish I owned all of the CD's Caravel Games ever produced and also a physical copy of Webfoot DROD.

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08-21-2014 at 04:02 AM
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skell
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Granted, you own one set of all of the CD's Caravel Games ever produced and also a physical copy of Webfoot DROD burned to charcoal.

I wish I weren't lactose intolerant.

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08-21-2014 at 07:02 AM
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NoahT
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Granted, now your body can't handle anything else, not even air and water.

I wish I weren't so indecisive.

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08-21-2014 at 07:22 AM
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Jordthro
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Granted, but you always decide based on how funny a TV audience would think your choice is as if you were in the Truman show.

I wish my car were a Transformer who, despite being formidably stronger than I am, still thought of me like the Lone Ranger's horse thinks of him. Right now it's been awhile seeing the "Check Engine" light and I feel bad I still haven't gotten it fixed.

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08-21-2014 at 07:56 AM
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azb
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Granted, but in the "Robot" phase it falls on you and you are squashed.

I wish for knowledge.

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08-22-2014 at 10:16 PM
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JamesBond007
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Granted, but this knowledge is useless.

I wish for Zelda/EarthBound crossover.
09-02-2014 at 01:37 AM
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BlueFlower
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Wish granted. a Professor Layton/Zelda crossover, which is to be released on Nov. 2nd. It has over 815 puzzles.

I wish for Smitemastry services.

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2rd Something.
09-02-2014 at 04:09 AM
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JamesBond007
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Granted, but your only enemies are the Slayers.

I wish for DROD 2-4 holds as Smitemaster Selections (not only from CaravelNet). Currently, we have KDD2.0+The Choice. We could also have JtRH+TCB and GatEB+Flood Warning (FW is available separatedly, but I think it also comes with DROD 4).
09-07-2014 at 05:10 PM
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azb
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Granted, but they are at a ridiculously high price that you cannot afford (over $1,000,000), so you are forced to continue with CaravelNet.

I wish that there were more TSS holds, and that they weren't bugged or corrupted.

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09-07-2014 at 07:18 PM
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brian_s
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Granted, but half of them are trivial one room holds and the other half are so hard that you cannot get past the first room.

I wish I owned my own house.
09-08-2014 at 12:30 AM
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skell
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Granted. You own a really big and great house, away from any civilization, without internet, with not phone access and the nautrally occuring anomalies make it impossible to access satellite networks. Have I mentioned there are no roads to it?

I wish I could speak English with Received Pronounciation.

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09-08-2014 at 05:47 AM
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azb
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Granted, but you lose all other English skills, such as grammar and proper spelling. You eventually revert to your native language and no one can understand you anymore.

I wish that someone would make DROD: The Movie.

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09-13-2014 at 01:57 AM
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Jordthro
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Granted, but it's directed by M. Night Shmayalan and the twist ending is that the entire world of the Eighth is one big dream by the same kid who could see dead people all grown up. Double twist.

I wish I was still in the Navy.

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09-13-2014 at 07:12 PM
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BlueFlower
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Granted, but your skin in now a deep navy blue.

I wish for a Progress Bar (TM),

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09-14-2014 at 01:54 AM
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azb
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Granted, but the developers of the game this particular progress bar is for are extremely lazy, so the bar only moves a nanometer in 10 years. You eventually expire of age before the game ever gets released, which it never does because the devs have obviously died of age as well.

I wish that someone would mod DOOM and make it DROD-based without any errors: game-crashing, cosmetic, or otherwise.

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[Last edited by azb at 09-14-2014 01:32 PM]
09-14-2014 at 01:31 PM
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brian_s
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Granted, but the game itself is now 5 minutes long.

I wish I has a pet malamute.
09-14-2014 at 05:38 PM
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JamesBond007
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Granted, but you decide to live in Alaska.

I wish Caravel will purchase the rights to Webfoot DROD.
09-20-2014 at 03:57 PM
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azb
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Granted, but in exchange Webfoot owns caravel now.

I wish I were a master coder, without dying because I didn't sleep, drink, or eat.

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09-20-2014 at 07:54 PM
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brian_s
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Granted, but your mastery is in obsolete and obscure programming languages.

I wish I was not going bald.
09-21-2014 at 04:24 PM
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BlueFlower
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Granted... Ahhh! It's Bigfoot!

I wish for nothing.

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2rd Something.
09-21-2014 at 06:53 PM
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Godot23
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Granted. You are given absolute nothingness. No light. No air. No consciousness. Nothing.

I wish that Pheonix Wright games would come out more often. QUALITY Pheonix Wright games, might I add.

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Roses are red
Violets are red
Everything is red
My house is on fire
09-21-2014 at 07:14 PM
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Pinnacle
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Granted. None of them get localized.

I wish for unlimited wishes.

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Once (adv.): Enough.
Twice (adv.): Once too often.
~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
09-21-2014 at 07:54 PM
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azb
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Granted, but the fairies retire before you can use your wishes.

I wish to wield a spear in real life.

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09-21-2014 at 08:37 PM
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bdwing
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Granted. You are spear carrier number 3 in a local production of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar.


I wish I knew what to wish for.

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In the words of Cyndi Lauper:

"Until it ends, there is no end."
09-22-2014 at 04:28 AM
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