golfrman
Level: Master Delver

Rank Points: 165
Registered: 07-10-2006
IP: Logged

Granted, unfortunately he blames you for what happens, and has now sworn revenge against you.
I wish i knew how calamarain's llama can write notes.

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Jesus is Lord and Messiah!

calamarain
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 933
Registered: 03-25-2007
IP: Logged

golfrman wrote:
Granted, unfortunately he blames you for what happens, and has now sworn revenge against you.
I wish i knew how calamarain's llama can write notes.

Granted. You wake up the next morning with the words "I can write notes like this, I just hold the pen between my feet" drawn onto your forehead in non-removable marker pen. You also have a job interview in an hour.

I wish for another llama, since the last one seems to have been a meanie.

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My Holds

Kwakstur
Level: Smiter

Rank Points: 385
Registered: 05-05-2006
IP: Logged

Wish granted, but then one day you realize that llama spelled backwards is amall, and so you lose all your friends by telling horrible puns.

I wish I worked at a mall.

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Also known as ExpHP everywhere else.

zonhin
Level: Delver

Rank Points: 99
Registered: 10-18-2005
IP: Logged

Sadly, the malls in hell have long hours and little pay. It's tough being a security guard, especially when the angels come down to kill everyone. I'd advise looking for work elsewhere.

I wish for a talking clock.

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I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye

Anson
Level: Delver
Rank Points: 67
Registered: 02-05-2007
IP: Logged

Granted. You get a tv instead, thats broken.
I wish i had DROD:TCB quicker... (Wednesday i get drod:tcb! yay!)

____________________________

Please, I admire Guthix, I solve problems, I fix rules too. I used to be a Scoundril, Complaining about the forums, But now i changed.

zonhin
Level: Delver

Rank Points: 99
Registered: 10-18-2005
IP: Logged

calamarain wrote:
I wish for another llama, since the last one seems to have been a meanie.

He was actually a paranoid schizophrenic Llama but okay.

____________________________
I looked at the world through apple eyes
And cut myself a slice of sunshine pie
I danced with the peanut butterflies
Till time went and told me to say hello but wave goodbye

Bingbing
Level: Goblin
Rank Points: 22
Registered: 04-28-2007
IP: Logged

For nearly causing this game to sink, you are thrown into Angband's 100th level. As a level 1 warrior, you MIGHT live long enough to reach the stairs up.

I wish I had a job on teleportation experiments being done on Mars!

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I don't know what to put here.

calamarain
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 933
Registered: 03-25-2007
IP: Logged

Granted. You are teleported onto the Mars surface without a space suit. The atmosphere is so thin you suffocate.

I wish this thread wouldn't die again, and would keep going!

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My Holds

Rheb
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1211
Registered: 08-04-2006
IP: Logged

Granted, but it's not a fun thread anymore, since no one can think of anything better to wish for than a potato...

I wish I had a potato...

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Voligner is my very own DROD-like game. Please check it out!

Bingbing
Level: Goblin
Rank Points: 22
Registered: 04-28-2007
IP: Logged

Granted. You now have an 10 year old potato chip.

I wish that I had an space suit, and that something goes wrong with the teleportation experiments when I get there.

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I don't know what to put here.

Znirk
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 613
Registered: 07-28-2005
IP: Logged

Granted. You pack your spacesuit and go to the teleportation lab, but when you get there you're told that something has gone wrong and all experiments had to be canceled.

I wish for another stale potato chip for my collection.

calamarain
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 933
Registered: 03-25-2007
IP: Logged

Granted. But the potato chip has gone mouldy. The mould spreads and mutates into a terrible fungal disease that infects you. You do not realise this and leave your house as normal. Your coughing during the day infects thousands more people, who die within the week, as do you. I hope you're happy with yourself!

I wish that I could finish writing up my thesis soon.

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My Holds

zex20913
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1723
Registered: 02-04-2003
IP: Logged

Granted. Five keys finishes it for you. Ctrl+A, Delete, Alt+F4. Oops.

I wish these waffles tasted better.

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Bobpie
Level: Delver
Rank Points: 54
Registered: 04-26-2007
IP: Logged

They do, unfortunantly, poison taste good, which is on your pancakes.

I wish I wasn't forced to become a fourm lurker due to school.

NoahT
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1133
Registered: 06-17-2003
IP: Logged

Granted; you are forced to become a spammer instead.

I wish the US would adopt the British healthcare system.

-Noah

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And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

My stuff:

silver
Level: Smitemaster
Rank Points: 915
Registered: 01-18-2005
IP: Logged

Granted. Shortly thereafter, you develop an eye problem. Since it's non-Emergency, you are subjected the usual wait of several months for treatment. The condition gets worse during this time. Second-rate doctors (all the good ones having quit now that there's no more reward for excellence) eventually treat you only to discover that the condition has progressed beyond their scope, and you are permanently blind in one eye. You also have constant headaches which keep you from concentrating, but it will be a year before you can get treatment for those. In the mean time, you lose your job because you can't think.(*)

I wish I knew why my NFS mounts aren't working.


(*) http://www.burtonreport.com/InfHealthCare/BritNatHealthServ.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Health_Service - note that many of their proposed and successful reforms bring it closer to the American system.

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[Last edited by silver at 10-08-2007 09:30 PM]

calamarain
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 933
Registered: 03-25-2007
IP: Logged

Granted. You now know exactly why your NFS mounts aren't working. Unfortunately, you also know that there's no way to fix the problem without buying new expensive hardware.

I wish that Beethro Budkin would be replaced by his evil clone Boothro Bidkin.

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My Holds

Bingbing
Level: Goblin
Rank Points: 22
Registered: 04-28-2007
IP: Logged

Granted. DROD ceases to exist.

I wish that I could find something fun to do.

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I don't know what to put here.

Bobpie
Level: Delver
Rank Points: 54
Registered: 04-26-2007
IP: Logged

Granted. This fun thing happens to be jumping off a 100-story building. Falling to your enevitalble death, you realize that this is the most fun thing you have, sadly you can only do this once in your life (Twice if you are lucky). You vaporize apon impact.

i WISH i REMEMBERED TO TURN OFF CAPS-LOCK BEFORE i TYPED THIS WISH.

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[Last edited by Bobpie at 10-09-2007 12:12 AM]

hyperme
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1067
Registered: 06-23-2006
IP: Logged

Granted. You remember. Which means you wish for something else. So you see you left Caps Lock on and make the wish again. Since you cancelled out the wish, you cause a paradox, whcih kills you. Oops.

I wish for Sovit Russia.

____________________________
[Insert witty comment here]
Qzvlkx?

NoahT
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 1133
Registered: 06-17-2003
IP: Logged

Granted; there is another Cold War.

I wish I would pull myself away from DROD when I have a lot of schoolwork to do.

-Noah

____________________________
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

My stuff:

calamarain
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 933
Registered: 03-25-2007
IP: Logged

VIPCOOL wrote:
I wish that 2+2=5

Granted. The numberline collapses, making everything equal to everything else. This means that you are equal to a potato. I hope you like being chips.

I wish that 2+2=4

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My Holds

Sillyman
Level: Smiter

Rank Points: 339
Registered: 09-08-2006
IP: Logged

Granted. Everything is as it was before, and the paradox is resolved. With the exception of your head becoming Limburger cheese.

I wish that nothing which may in any way be interpreted as bad, under my judgement, may result, directly or indirectly, from this wish or my next one, or the granting thereof; all judging of the method of granting said wishes shall be done before they are granted, and I may change my decision freely after said wishes have been granted.

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Who, me?
FNORD

Bingbing
Level: Goblin
Rank Points: 22
Registered: 04-28-2007
IP: Logged

Granted. You become a zombie.

I wish I had an apple pie with nothing bad happening.

____________________________
I don't know what to put here.

silver
Level: Smitemaster
Rank Points: 915
Registered: 01-18-2005
IP: Logged

This is directed at Sillyman's wish, and while technically in post-collision with the previous poster, I might point out that the previous poster totally failed to actually read the wish. Clearly if the Djinn said, "hey, I'm going to turn you into a zombie, k?" Sillyman would have said, "no". No. In fact, Sillyman's wish falls under the "can't grant that. you broke the game. let's start over" rule.

-----------------

A union rep from the 45,673rd Chapter (Earth and nearby planets) of the Association of Genies and Other Supernatural Wish-Granters shows up on your doorstep and says, "Sorry, kid, that's not happening. In the first place, your wish calls for something to happen between the wishing and the granting, which is disallowed under section 35 paragraph 2, the so-called 'Uninterrupted Contemplation' clause, added in 1549 (Earth calendar). Secondly, the whole 'in my judgement' thing was over-turned in court - you know, Aladdin v. Lamp? The judge said it would create extra work if the genie has to re-grant wishes to meet arbitrary calls, and it's all over our contract that we get to do the minimal work possible for each wish. Finally, and most importantly, meta-wishes are explicitly prohibited in the very first paragraph of the very first section on the very first page. What, does no one read the contract anymore? Your wish isn't covered by our rules, so we won't be granting it, and be thankful we aren't suing you for wasting our time or blacklisting you from further wishes. Should you find another lamp. Which we hope you won't. Good bye."

I wish you a Merry Christmas.


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[Last edited by silver at 10-15-2007 09:38 PM]

Bobpie
Level: Delver
Rank Points: 54
Registered: 04-26-2007
IP: Logged

Granted. I have a merry chrismas, you do not (Tube socks? Who gives Tube socks!?). Better luck next year.

I wish that I knew how not to get super-powers.

Bingbing
Level: Goblin
Rank Points: 22
Registered: 04-28-2007
IP: Logged

Granted. You now know that going near anything remotely dangerous may give you super powers. You spend the rest of your life trapped in a mental hospital since you attempt to attack anything like butterflies, pillows, and yourself with a butter knife.

I wish I knew how to make good wishes.

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I don't know what to put here.

calamarain
Level: Smitemaster

Rank Points: 933
Registered: 03-25-2007
IP: Logged

Bingbing wrote:
I wish I knew how to make good wishes.

Granted. You now know exactly how to make a good and totally uncorruptable wish that results in world peace, happiness and pretty much everything good you can think of.

Unfortunately, you only get one wish, and you wasted it on knowing what to wish for.

I wish for three carrots and a small piece of cheese.

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My Holds

Jatopian
Level: Smitemaster
Rank Points: 1842
Registered: 07-31-2005
IP: Logged

calamarain wrote:
I wish for three carrots and a small piece of cheese.

Granted; unfortunately they materialize in a running blender, making a gross corruption of the delicious smoothie you were preparing.

I wish for space-time.

____________________________
DROD has some really great music.
Make your pressure plates 3.0 style!
DROD architecture idea generator

Beef Row
Level: Smiter
Rank Points: 471
Registered: 12-28-2005
IP: Logged

Jatopian wrote:
I wish for space-time.

And receive it in the form of a copy of Space-Time! (R), the worlds most popular (and only) punctuation game. It is the Falkland Islands Edition Arcade Machine, and only accepts Falkland Pounds.

I wish for Falkland Pounds and access to Jatopian's home.

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"Now I will repeatedly apply the happy-face rule"